My résumé is really just a list of things I hope I never have to do again. Posted onMay 19, 2026 by slickboy in Funny Quotes 💾 Save Image Commentary:Looks like my résumé doubles as a list of past traumas I somehow survived! 😂📜✌️ Related funny posts 🤝 The gaps in my resume are from the space bar. They lie on the job descriptions, so lie on your resume. Adding “scroll for two hours” to my To-Do list, so I won’t do it. I’m gonna put “CEO of Blockbuster Video” on my resume because who are they gonna call to confirm? My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.