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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

If you respond to my sarcasm with better sarcasm, then I might just catch feelings.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

You’re really hot. Wanna share microplastics?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Be the reason why a count unleashes ancient horrors onto the world when he thinks of you.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Maybe everyone can just pee outside from now on so I never have to clean the toilets again.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Oh, you like NYC? Name every rat.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,833

Funny Quotes Topics

17,014

Funny Quotes Images

14,833

Updated

Dec 9, 2025

Users Online

3,824

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

People that never want to leave the house unite! Separately at our own homes.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

The older I get, the more I understand why deer run in front of cars.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Every job is either 8 hours of getting exposed to cancer-causing chemicals or 8 hours of staring at a Microsoft Excel sheet.

Spotted on Slack:

With great power comes a huge electric bill.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I’m pretty sure my husband’s favorite sound is the oven range fan turning on when I start making dinner.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I love how “sleeping in” used to mean noon, and now it means 8:30 a.m.

Seen just now on Instagram:

A collective orgasm would fix the world.

“Nothing burger” is such a funny phrase. Americans when nothing: so imagine a burger.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When life gives you nothing, just super-size it! 🍔😂

American, American humor, Americans, burger, food, food metaphor, Funny, funny phrase, humor, imagine, joke, language, metaphor, nothing, nothing burger, phrase

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Someone should bite my inner thighs just to see what type of noises I make. For science.

4 months ago

bite, curiosity, humor, i, inner, inner thigh, just, noise, noises, science, should, someone, thigh, type
They said don’t try this at home, so I’m coming over to your place.

1 month ago

coming, coming over, home, humor, invitation, joke, over, place, try
Whoever is writing my Rom-Com, can you maybe, I don’t know, START IT?

1 month ago

comedy, date, humor, i, know, maybe, relationship, rom-com, script, start, writing
Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

1 month ago

distraction, driving, even, funny situation, having, humor, pee, problematic, road, road trip, situation, sneeze, trip
Feels like the Chinese government turned up the power on the sleepy ray they use on me every morning.

1 month ago

Chinese, Chinese government, energy, every, government, humor, me, morning, power, ray, sarcasm, sleepy, sleepy ray, turned, wakefulness
This is the wrong generation for people with an old soul.

4 months ago

clash, cultural, cultural clash, generation, humor, identity, old, old soul, people, soul, wrong

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

You can have kids or you can always know where your scissors are. You can’t have both.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

One year older today, and still no closer to growing up.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Look, the problem with The Life of a Showgirl is that, for maybe the first time in her music career, Taylor Swift has nothing to say.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

8 pm to 10 pm on a weeknight is the shortest that two hours can possibly be.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Not to brag but I gave someone directions and he made it.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

I wish I was waking up and going to the airport.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

I love when people say “be yourself,” like I haven’t already been doing that and scaring everyone off.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Carrying a conversation counts as cardio.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

My CV is so good, companies are still reading it for 9 months.

Spotted on Facebook:

Be bold, be italic, but never regular.

Going viral on YouTube:

“Because my hair is not done” is a very valid reason to decline an outing.

Just landed via Facebook:

I concern myself with the opinions of sheep because they are cute.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The only thing we need to bring back is duels.

Seen just now on Slack:

Girls love a gay best friend until he turns 35 and asks to borrow your womb.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“Nothing burger” is such a funny phrase. Americans when nothing: so imagine a burger.

Someone should bite my inner thighs just to see what type of noises I make. For science.

They said don’t try this at home, so I’m coming over to your place.

Whoever is writing my Rom-Com, can you maybe, I don’t know, START IT?

Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

Feels like the Chinese government turned up the power on the sleepy ray they use on me every morning.

This is the wrong generation for people with an old soul.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Laundry day is my favorite day of the week. That’s why I dress for it every day.

Ask your doctor if it’s right for you to eat oranges and pretend they’re planets and you’re a Greek god.

No, I love darkness at 5pm and the death of a nation.

Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

Some people aren’t just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Iced coffee and crying, the most Californian afternoon.

Moving houses/apartments gotta be top 3 worst human experiences.

Nothing can break the bond between me and peanut butter.

They should go crazier with lab-grown meat. Invent some new animals or something. Mammoth burger.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.

The era where you dropped your phone and your battery flew out was just crazy.

I love being outside, just not when it’s too cold or too hot or too wet or too windy or if there are bugs.

One day you said w00t for the last time, and didn’t even realize.

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Have kids so you can live in a house full of people who can’t find anything.

Tons of names in my phones are “Kenny Landlord,” “Mike Electric,” or “Pete Do Not Answer,” and I just realized this is how Anglo surnames have always worked.

It’s a fabulous time to be alive if you love: verification codes, verifying your email, yelling ‘REAL PERSON’ into a phone at a robot, reading nightmarish news all day, every day, hot.

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

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“Nothing burger” is such a funny phrase. Americans when nothing: so imagine a burger.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Someone should bite my inner thighs just to see what type of noises I make. For science.

They said don’t try this at home, so I’m coming over to your place.

Whoever is writing my Rom-Com, can you maybe, I don’t know, START IT?

Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

Feels like the Chinese government turned up the power on the sleepy ray they use on me every morning.

This is the wrong generation for people with an old soul.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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