Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Looking for that special someone who can appreciate the sacred silence that comes when a banger plays 🎶🤫 Good communication skills are music to my ears! 🎵🗣️ #SelectiveListenerGoals"

compatibility, conversation, date, humor, just, knows, meet, music, over, relationship, social, someone, song, songs, talk, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

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2 months ago

AI, common, comparison, confidence, confident, humor, i, incorrect, incorrect information, information, lot, occasionally, technology, tone
You did all that terrible driving just to end up right next to me at the stop light.

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2 months ago

driving, end, just, light, me, next, rage, right, road, road rage, stop, stop light, terrible, traffic
Cloud 9 is a very high place to fall from.

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2 months ago

9, cloud, cloud 9, expectations, fall, high, high place, humor, irony, life, perspective, place
Back then, my parents were afraid of what I would do on the Internet. Today, I’m afraid of what my parents do on the Internet.

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2 months ago

afraid, back, change, childhood, fear, generational, humor, i, internet, parents, technology, today
I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

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2 months ago

cooking, family, food, hear, holiday, humor, i, moist, overcook, say, table, turkey
After a lot of experience, I can conclude that one can never actually cross “washing dishes” off the to-do list.

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4 months ago

actually, after, chore, cross, daily, daily life, dish, dishes, experience, household, household task, humor, i, life, list, lot, never, task, to-do, to-do list, washing, washing dish

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Discord this month:

Shazam but for random noises outside.

73 shares on Discord this month:

The Velvet Underground probably wouldn’t have been so influential if I was at their shows with a giant magnet and pulled their guitars out of their hands.

86 shares on WeChat this month:

“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you need me, I’ll be in the shower pretending I can sing.

28 shares on Facebook this month:

If I meet you at a party and you instantly start asking about my job, you are subhuman to me.

26 shares on Reddit this month:

I want to be rich enough where I’m not offended by the price of beef jerky.

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

The people who upload old movies to the internet are holding society together.

40 shares on Reddit this month:

Guys only want one thing and it’s my grandmother’s meatball recipe.

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

97 shares on Telegram this month:

I think social media is marvellous. You type your thoughts into it, and then insane people let you know if they like them or not.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

The Bloodhound Gang were very special because its music for 12-year-old boys, but every reference requires you to be 40 years old.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

That bourbon chicken from the mall only tastes good on that toothpick. You order it, and it’s not the same, I swear.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Too many losers and not enough people telling them they’re losers.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Girls Just Want To Have Naan

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

You told your cat how much you love him, but now it’s morning, the sun is out, you’re sober, and it’s just weird for both of you.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

You now have the chance to be the first person to send me nudes.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

My friends put their kid to bed and then made us ice cream sundaes, which is exactly what I assumed was happening when my parents put me to bed.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Watering plants qualifies as a hobby.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

“Slipping in the shower and trying to hold on to the water jet…” Shall I tell you more about myself?

Making waves on X:

My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Micro-dosing time travel by going to bed.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If you think I’m evil, wait until you meet the man who made me this way.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Love it when you say or do some common sense thing and the other person has “file not found” written all over their face.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Don’t talk to me about regrets if you’ve never had someone’s name tattooed on you.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Being the introverted hopeless romantic with a high sex drive is a curse.

Just landed via YouTube:

About 40 muscles are activated when you eat just one donut. Follow me for more fitness advice.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Having a crush is so stupid. Like, why is this dude in my head at 8 am?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Really just want to meet someone who knows what songs not to talk over.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

You did all that terrible driving just to end up right next to me at the stop light.

Cloud 9 is a very high place to fall from.

Back then, my parents were afraid of what I would do on the Internet. Today, I’m afraid of what my parents do on the Internet.

I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

After a lot of experience, I can conclude that one can never actually cross “washing dishes” off the to-do list.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨