Really just want to meet someone who knows what songs not to talk over.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Gwyneth Paltrow, I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Basketball’s all like “gimme that pumpkin, I need it” and golf is all like “***k this egg, imma hit it into the sun”

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

King-sized beds: Because you both want to sleep on the same mattress, but not in the same zip code.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Digging my own grave, because I gotta do everything around here.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

It’s this time again when you have to choose between coffee and mulled wine in the morning.