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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

The way some people hold their cell phone to make a call, I always think they’re trying to take a bite out of a sandwich.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

A long time ago, being crazy meant something. Nowadays, everybody is crazy.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

What’s a beginner hobby for someone just getting into being happy?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

My favorite dinner is the one made by someone else.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

There’s a guy who thinks he’s going to Yale, but it’s jail.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Breaking News: No matter how close you are with your colleagues, never discuss your personal matters at work. Neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I was going to warn my kids about the repercussions of drugs and alcohol until I realized that they in fact were the repercussions of drugs and alcohol.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Yoga is just slow motion breakdancing.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I always have a bad connection in my head when someone tries to explain a card or board game to me.

Making waves on TikTok:

My husband said we need to start exercising and get into shape, so I’m going to wake up early tomorrow and start looking for a new husband.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

Making waves on Pinterest:

I bought a book on Feng Shui, but I don’t know where to put it.

Making waves on Messenger:

Maybe we should put monkeys in charge for a while just to see how it goes.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

If I were an organ, I’d fail.

Spotted on Telegram:

You’re telling me people get eight hours of sleep? Like in one night?

Just shared via Telegram:

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

Breaking via Instagram:

Tried to sleep by reading a boring book and now it’s suddenly the most interesting book.

So I got a call from a telemarketer, and he said he couldn’t understand me. I told him, “Press 1 for English.”

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When life gives you telemarketers, give them a taste of their own menu! 🤣☎️ Press 1 for a good laugh!

1, call, communication, cultural, cultural difference, difference, English, got, humor, i, language, me, phone, phone call, prank, press, said, telemarketer, told, understand

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The first thing you learn to draw in art school is money from your parents bank account.

0

2 months ago

account, art, art school, bank, bank account, draw, financial, financial support, humor, learn, life, money, parents, school, student, student life, support, thing
Pinterest is so therapeutic. There’s no drama, no one to argue with. Just pretty pictures.

0

2 months ago

activity, argue, argument, creativity, drama, fun, fun activity, just, pictures, Pinterest, pretty, relaxation, therapy
Sitting with my legs really wide to experiment with gender.

0

2 months ago

body, body language, experiment, gender, humor, language, legs, playful, self-expression, sitting, wide
Knowing I’ve been called crazy, but never ugly, is how I sleep at night.

0

5 months ago

confidence, crazy, humor, i, knowing, never, night, self-acceptance, sleep, ugly
I don’t argue with idiots on the Internet, I just keep scrolling and mind my own business.

0

5 months ago

argue, argument, behavior, business, i, idiot, idiots, internet, just, keep, mind, minding, minding business, online, online behavior, own, scrolling
Cats love to wake you up and go back to sleep. It’s part of their culture.

0

2 months ago

back, behavior, cat, cats, culture, love, pet, pet behavior, sleep, wake, wake up

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ll be like “I’m fine” then shake my leg at 150 mph.

16 shares on Reddit this month:

British people be like “It’s Chewsday, innit?”

85 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Unloading the dishwasher in the opposite direction just to feel something.

26 shares on Twitch this month:

Normalize bed-rotting in the holidays and not feeling guilty about it for your mental health.

81 shares on Pinterest this month:

I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like, hey, you can’t do that anymore.

97 shares on Discord this month:

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

Somewhere there’s a girl ignoring 15 guys for a guy who gives her no attention.

61 shares on Reddit this month:

Hey boy, are you the sun? Because you were a big part of my life this summer but now I feel like I never see you.

65 shares on Discord this month:

I’m old enough to remember when regular websites were usable.

46 shares on TikTok this month:

Who needs an alarm clock when you have a bladder.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

It feels like it costs $100 a day just to exist anymore.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Paid my rent and slept in every room of my house this week, kitchen and laundry room next.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I invoiced my boss two extra hours for the dream I had about work last night. I’m considering that overtime.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Shoutout to everyone who remembers their childhood landline number but can’t recall the password they made yesterday. You’re my people.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

The sexual tension between me and not finishing the last 2 episodes of a drama.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

My worst fear is looking out my window at night, and someone looking right at me.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

90% of the ocean is unexplored, which means there could be a McDonald’s down there.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

My husband is trying to convince me that we’re in a situationship. “The situation is that we live in the same house and love each other.”

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Sometimes, before bedtime, I fall asleep on the couch. It’s my little sleep appetizer… my nappetizer.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

Straight man stuns they/them by ordering in fluent woke.

Making waves on WeChat:

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

Going viral on Discord:

Your honor, my client doesn’t like jail.

Making waves on X:

Crying while wearing a backpack has unlocked a new level of humiliation I did not know was possible.

Spreading quickly via X:

I’m liking your IG photo from 8 days ago because IG just showed me today!

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Born to be a frolicker of the forest, forced to be a cog in the machine.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

Just landed via Slack:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

Just landed via Telegram:

Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

So I got a call from a telemarketer, and he said he couldn’t understand me. I told him, “Press 1 for English.”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The first thing you learn to draw in art school is money from your parents bank account.

Pinterest is so therapeutic. There’s no drama, no one to argue with. Just pretty pictures.

Sitting with my legs really wide to experiment with gender.

Knowing I’ve been called crazy, but never ugly, is how I sleep at night.

I don’t argue with idiots on the Internet, I just keep scrolling and mind my own business.

Cats love to wake you up and go back to sleep. It’s part of their culture.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨