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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

What’s a beginner hobby for someone just getting into being happy?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

It’s a beautiful day to ignore your existing problems and create new ones.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

God created childbirth so women could know how men feel when we have a cold.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I have been nothing but creepy and aggressive to you. Please respond.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

If we get invaded by space aliens, I am immediately defecting to the alien side. Sorry.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

332 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,925

Funny Quotes Topics

17,098

Funny Quotes Images

14,925

Updated

Dec 13, 2025

Users Online

3,724

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Just had my biannual teeth cleaning like some barn animal.

Just landed via Slack:

Going ballistic. Anyone need anything?

Shared recently on Slack:

Back in the good old days, we didn’t have to trim our toenails, they just got wore down naturally from running from dinosaurs.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Maybe the clouds, trees, and flowers love looking at you too.

Trending via Facebook:

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

The question I ask myself most often is, “What would a jury think about this?”

Just landed via Slack:

I’ve decided to become an organ donor. When I die, I want an elephant to get a new trunk.

Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

4 months ago

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Commentary:
That moment when kids become the ultimate superhero sidekicks to ward off unwanted attention 😂🦸‍♀️👶

away, boyfriend, chase, child, dating, flirting, humor, i, men, rejection, relationship, started, telling

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

1 month ago

different, humor, hurt, jewelry, losing, loss, pain, relationship, sentiment, type
No revenge, because losing someone like me is enough.

1 month ago

arrogance, confidence, enough, humor, losing, me, revenge, self-esteem, someone
I want to be cremated so that I will get a smoking-hot body again.

1 month ago

again, body, cremated, cremation, dark, dark humor, death, humor, i, joke, sarcasm, smoking-hot, want, witty
Sorry for the things I said when the internet was down for 10 minutes.

1 month ago

behavior, digital, digital mood, frustration, humor, i, internet, internet outage, minutes, mishap, mood, online, online behavior, online frustration, outage, said, sorry, tech, tech mishap, things
Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

1 month ago

ambulance, doctors, health, hope, hospital, humor, i, irony, okay, seen
Dance like China isn’t watching.

1 month ago

China, dance, expression, freedom, humor, irony, watching

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Bro, did you seriously just forget about Dre?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

If you wake up early enough, you can go back to sleep for a few hours. Not everyone knows this.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

“You’re under the weather?” We all are, idiot. It’s in the sky.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

I can admit that I am intrigued by people weirder than I am.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Tweeting shouldn’t cost money but it should flip you on your back like a bug for 15 minutes.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

They monitor me harder than Britney Spears around here.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

I always say “morning” instead of “good morning”, because if it was a good morning, I’d still be asleep.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Getting excited to go to bed is a different level of adulting.

Seen just now on Threads:

I suck at flirting. I’ll be like “is that so?”

Just landed via Messenger:

Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

Going viral on Threads:

Went for a walk. Very pleasant evening. The squirrels and rabbits kept running away from me. That stung a little. I will remember their faces.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

80s movies: Let’s go to the future! Today: Let’s go back to the 80s!

Trending via Reddit:

I think the key to happiness is having plenty of money and then telling all the poor people that money can’t buy happiness.

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Activity Log ✨

Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

No revenge, because losing someone like me is enough.

I want to be cremated so that I will get a smoking-hot body again.

Sorry for the things I said when the internet was down for 10 minutes.

Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

Dance like China isn’t watching.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

‘Blinded by the Light’ is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.

“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.

No, it’s fine. I watched some cartoons and now I feel a little more at ease with your stupidness.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Yeah, sex is cool and all, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

Coolest part about starting a new job is the immunity to disease you get for 3 months till you get sick days.

People used to fly kites. Glad that’s over with.

People moaning and making noise over food makes me so livid I can’t keep it in.

One day you’ll find someone obsessed with you. It’s probably going to be a squirrel.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

It’s a paradox that your nose is running and your feet smell.

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

Take my advice, I’m not using it.

Satan: “I’d tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and don’t wanna see you everyday.”

Men don’t eject their eyes from their sockets and yell awooga anymore.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.

Sticking googly eyes on a potato and introducing him to everyone as my new boyfriend.

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

The theory that two stacked beds can’t be converted into two regular beds has been debunked.

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Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

No revenge, because losing someone like me is enough.

I want to be cremated so that I will get a smoking-hot body again.

Sorry for the things I said when the internet was down for 10 minutes.

Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

Dance like China isn’t watching.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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