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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Sorry I can’t have a pleasant, safe and affordable life, my government said no.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Old and bitter feels much better than I thought it would.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

You don’t realize how incorrect and annoying YouTube video essays are until they’re about something you like.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Honestly, I don’t even play an active role in my life any more. Things just happen and I’m like “I guess this is what we’re doing now.”

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

That moment of panic when they invite you inside at the start of the birthday party you thought was a drop off.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Why would I want a memory pillow? Sleep is where I go to forget.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Getting money from the Tooth Fairy is a gateway drug to organ trafficking.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

779 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,941

Funny Quotes Topics

13,912

Funny Quotes Images

10,941

24 minutes ago

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

I like it when it’s raining, because I can hold my umbrella really low and it makes everyone headless.

Shared recently on X:

The sluttiest thing a man can do is have an ethical dilemma over his lust for you.

Seen just now on Slack:

I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

Going viral on Slack:

My toxic trait is destroying my room every time I get dressed.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Who you are when you’re stuck behind a slow driver is the real you.

Going viral on Discord:

Jesus rose from the grave because he forgot to clear his browser history.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I like to push myself out of my comfort zone by sometimes sitting on the other end of my sofa.

Seen just now on X:

The question is, what will kill humanity this century? Artificial intelligence or natural stupidity?

Shared recently on TikTok:

My pronouns are she/her and my adjectives are problematic/overwhelmed.

Making waves on Pinterest:

If we get invaded by space aliens, I am immediately defecting to the alien side. Sorry.

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

2 months ago

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like we've got a new public health crisis: "Car-itis"—the mysterious urge to park and peer into that glowing screen! 🚗📱 Maybe they're just trying to see if their cars have feelings too, or auditioning for the next "Fast & Furious: Smartphone Edition." 😂 Who knew parked cars could be the hottest new social hotspots? Remember, folks: your phone can wait—your car might need a break too! 🚙✨

addiction, behavior, car, cars, dependence, distraction, epidemic, funny observation, just, life, observation, parked, parked car, people, phone, phone addiction, phones, social, social behavior, staring, technology, technology dependence, urban, urban life

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

779 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,941

Funny Quotes Topics

13,912

Funny Quotes Images

10,941

24 minutes ago

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Video games are great. They let you try out your craziest fantasies. For example, on The Sims, you can have a job and a house.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Gardeners are the only people who willingly go outside to get dirty, sweaty, bitten, and sunburned… and call it “relaxing”.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Never make a promise you can’t keep rescheduling.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Okay, this integrity isn’t going to compromise itself.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Can everyone please turn their A/C off during the day, we need that power to generate images of people with eight fingers.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Even in my early 20’s, I was diagnosed with late stage 40’s.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Printers are definitely the moody teenagers of the tech world.

Just shared via Discord:

I love to see “pan-fried” on a menu. I hate food that’s fried in a shoe.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I would go out of my mind, but I can’t find the exit.

Making waves on Reddit:

Why is the debate at night time? Let’s get this thing started at 4pm. I don’t need to get riled up so close to bedtime.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Do you know how much effort goes into looking this regular?

Seen just now on Slack:

Tears for Fears: Everybody wants to rule the world. Me: Some of us just want eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Just shared via Facebook:

Moose would have been a better name for a cow.

Just landed via Snapchat:

When you accidentally laugh at your own thoughts, and now people are staring.

Spotted on Messenger:

You can’t boss me around. You’re not my bladder.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Hiring a mortician to do my makeup while I sleep.

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