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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I held the door for an old person today and he was like, “didn’t we go to high school together” and we did.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Waiting for toast to toast takes forever unless you walk away for 10 seconds, then it burns.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

They’re making me do work at work.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

The sexual tension when everyone arrives at a 4-way stop at the same time.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Hate it when I pull out a winter coat and there’s no money stashed in it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,647

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you give it a really good massage?

Shared recently on Slack:

I’d like to thank the municipal snow plow for recreating the wall from Game of Thrones at the end of my driveway.

Spotted on Telegram:

Congress taking an entire month off in a country where most people don’t get more than 2 weeks’ vacation is awesome.

Spotted on Reddit:

What would boomers do without their paper shredder?

Trending via Instagram:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to pull all nighters.

Shared recently on Threads:

Instead of writing letters, let’s wait a week before texting each other back so it still feels like it.

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun not to be able to open that drawer.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah yes, my kitchen's very own escape room challenge! 🥔🔐😂"

able, activity, behavior, drawer, fun, fun activity, humor, humorous, humorous behavior, keep, mash, open, playful, potato, prank, quirk, random, sometimes

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Weekends are a scam, you spend one day exhausted and the other day anxious. Like, what the hell was that?

1 month ago
anxious, day, exhausted, hell, humor, irony, reality, scam, spend, stress, weekend
Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

2 months ago
anime, comparison, cultural, cultural reference, food, food humor, funny comparison, humor, just, ramen, reference, spaghetti
Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a few minutes.

4 months ago
anxiety, escape, give, humor, just, me, minutes, panic, panic room, room, time
Has anyone ever died from waiting for a group of people to decide what they want to eat.

1 month ago
decide, died, dilemma, eat, ever, food, group, hunger, indecision, people, waiting, want
Telemarketer: “Hello, am I speaking to the head of the household?” Me, handing the phone to my cat: “It’s for you.”

1 month ago
am, call, cat, conversation, head, hello, household, humor, i, joke, me, phone, phone call, prank, speaking, telemarketer
Just stay single, y’all… I’m here apologizing for taking a nap.

5 months ago
apology, here, humor, just, laziness, nap, relationship, single, stay, taking

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

If I was the inventor of healing, I would have made it linear, I can tell you that much.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Going to a wedding really reminds me of the important things in life. Like cake.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Can’t say “I’m tired” without my mom making it a competition of who is the most tired and who has more reason to be.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Got a botched circumcision, now my willy wonka.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

When life gives you lemons, give them back and ask what the crap is all about.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Bold of you to assume I have the energy to even climb a hill to die on.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Naked and Afraid because there’s a spider in the shower with me.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Everyone is fighting a battle you don’t know about, except for me. I am complaining loudly about my battle. Everybody knows about it.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I was going to go for a run, then realized I could just run my mouth on here.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I love when my brain cells kiss and I have an idea.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun not to be able to open that drawer.

Weekends are a scam, you spend one day exhausted and the other day anxious. Like, what the hell was that?

Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a few minutes.

Telemarketer: “Hello, am I speaking to the head of the household?” Me, handing the phone to my cat: “It’s for you.”

Just stay single, y’all… I’m here apologizing for taking a nap.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Who else here can say that they have NEVER watched any of the Kardashian shows?

Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright.

Went to bed with wet hair and woke up looking like I might know a lot about astrophysics.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Iced coffee and crying, the most Californian afternoon.

All the world’s a stage, and I always forget my line.

Canceled a date for a date with another guy, and that guy canceled. It’s what I deserve.

“I didn’t vote for this.” — people who absolutely voted for this but thought this would only hurt people they hate.

We need a holiday at the end of every summer that honours all the women who wore sundresses.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Starting your most incoherent sentence with “put simply” to deflect blame onto the reader.

Is stir-fry the only dish where the instructions are in the name?

Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I’m going spiraling, do you need anything?

You want to go out in the sun and then you can’t get the couch through the door.

You can be anything. Be the person who ends meetings early.

Men only have money the first month of dating, that’s recruitment budget, never confuse it with operational budget.

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We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun not to be able to open that drawer.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Weekends are a scam, you spend one day exhausted and the other day anxious. Like, what the hell was that?

Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a few minutes.

Has anyone ever died from waiting for a group of people to decide what they want to eat.

Telemarketer: “Hello, am I speaking to the head of the household?” Me, handing the phone to my cat: “It’s for you.”

Just stay single, y’all… I’m here apologizing for taking a nap.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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