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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Too many losers and not enough people telling them they’re losers.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

One minute you’re young and wild, the next minute you’re into air fryers.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Laptops become possessed with slowness when they see that you are in a hurry.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

I got us matching straight jackets for Christmas.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Genuinely nothing worse than going bowling with people who are actually good. Like, why are you doing all that?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

I miss the days when our biggest argument was whether West Coast or East Coast rap was better.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m going to need to rewatch Idiocracy to see what happens next.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

I do block people right away; you’re not going to stress me out on my own phone, with my own internet, and in my own house.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

785 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,947

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,947

3 minutes ago

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

Aliens traveled millions of light years to get here to visit New Jersey.

Trending via Facebook:

Sorry I can’t have a pleasant, safe and affordable life, my government said no.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

If you ever think English is not a weird language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme. But read and lead don’t rhyme, and neither do read and lead.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Nothing prepared me for the part of adulthood where you look like a baby deer learning to walk every time you get out of bed in the morning.

Reported on WeChat:

My toxic trait is treating my glasses like they’re not the most expensive thing I wear everyday.

Making waves on X:

I quit boxing the moment I realized my opponent was allowed to punch me in the face, too.

Spotted on YouTube:

In banana years, I am bread.

Spotted on Slack:

My tween would like you to know I ruined his life when I told him to stop being super sus and cringe and be more lit yo.

Seen just now on X:

I was going to buy my wife a car for Christmas but then I remembered I don’t live in a commercial.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’m off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.

When I say “the other day”, it can be anytime between yesterday and my birth.

2 months ago

When I say “the other day”, it can be anytime between yesterday and my birth.

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Commentary:
Ah, the infamous "other day" — basically the RSVP of time references! 🎉🗓️ It's like saying "soon" or "let’s do it sometime," which really means "whenever I remember or feel like it." 😂 So next time someone drops the "other day" bomb, just prepare for a timeline that stretches from yesterday to the dawn of humanity! 🕰️⏳ Talk about a flexible schedule!

anytime, birth, comedy, day, everyday, everyday humor, exaggeration, humor, humorous, humorous quote, i, joke, perception, relativity, sarcastic, say, time, yesterday

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

785 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,947

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,947

3 minutes ago

3,420

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Hey boy, are you my period? Because you’re annoying as hell but I still wanna see you regularly.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Quitting my job to focus on watching YouTube.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Why procrastinate now when you can always procrastinate later?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Get a Ring camera so you can yell at your kids when they’re out front and freak them out.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

I will not stop replying with gifs. I am a Millennial, it’s my birthright.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Prepare your kids for social media by putting their artwork on the fridge and writing a bunch of mean comments under it.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

The tag on my jeans says “Relaxed” so it obviously doesn’t have children.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Olympic gymnast: does the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Announcer: Oh dear, that will be a point deduction.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

I have nothing in common with people who “forget to eat”.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

Just landed via WeChat:

Have you ever “accidentally” eaten a family sized bag of chips?

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my fingers, because I can always count on them.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

“I’m sure it’ll turn up” – Translation: I’m bored of helping you look.

Seen just now on X:

Why is judge the only job where you can bang a little hammer to make people shut up? I’ve needed that in literally every job I’ve had.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

This summer I’m going cicada mode: emerging briefly from my house and being really loud until I find a mate.

Trending via WeChat:

Everyone’s a gangster until they turn a spoon the wrong way under running water.

Spotted on TikTok:

My bad for thinking everyone has common sense.

Breaking via Messenger:

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

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