You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well go while I’m here.”

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

The sound of rain outside when you’re in bed is elite.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Starting conversations with short people by saying “back when I was your height…”

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

My daughter asked me what it’s like to be a parent, so I woke her up at 3 AM to let her know that I couldn’t sleep.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

“I thought it might be nice to go around the room and have everyone introduce themselves, including a fun fact.” You thought wrong.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Dogs naturally form packs, and if left undisturbed, will teach themselves how to play poker.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Tried a smile yesterday and my white blood cells attacked it.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Relationship status: We have changed from “I love you” to “I love YouTube”.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

It’s always “you’re so cute when you’re mad,” until the house is on fire.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Happy Earth Day. You don’t look a day over 4 billion years and get hotter every year.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.