Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Don’t you hate it when you lose things? Like the motivation to do anything.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

If anything goes wrong today, just dramatically whisper, “The prophecy has been fulfilled,” and walk away.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

All dogs are therapy dogs. The majority are just freelancing.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Hobbies include fake smiling while waiting for people to stop talking.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Before marrying someone, listen long and hard to the sounds of their chewing, because that’s the soundtrack to the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Me, having zero balance in my account, viewing houses worth 10 million, and being like, “No, I don’t like the kitchen.”

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Three wise men? I highly doubt that.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently, and I’ve decided that I really don’t want to do that any more.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

“It’s all in your head!” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,365

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

I couldn’t work at a zoo. I’d have a penguin in my car by the end of the shift.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Traded my Fitbit in for a Sitbit.

Just shared via Twitch:

Back to work after the long holiday weekend, so you’re finally away from the relatives you don’t like, and back with the co-workers you don’t like.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

Going viral on Slack:

Rage bait often works on me because I was already angry before I read that.

Just shared via X:

Ever since I was a kid, I always knew I wanted to live in a galaxy far, far away.

Live now on Reddit:

I assume fish have beautiful names for eachother, unpronounceable by human tongues.

Going viral on Messenger:

Future generations will never have to live in unprecedented times, because we’re precedenting the Hell out of everything right now.

Making waves on Pinterest:

When the executioner asks me what my final words are, I’m just going to start filibustering.

I mean, sex is all right, but have you ever experienced the sheer sensuality of having rock-solid proof that a problem at work was someone else’s fault, even though it really, really looked like it was yours?

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Finding out it wasn’t your fault at work feels like discovering a hidden chocolate stash when you thought you were on a diet 🍫😆🎉

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I always feel sleepy, except when I want to sleep.

0

2 months ago

always, except, feel, humor, i, insomnia, irony, laziness, sarcasm, sleep, sleepiness, sleepy, want
It’s okay if you don’t like me, not everyone has good taste.

0

2 months ago

confidence, everyone, good, humor, me, okay, opinion, self-esteem, taste
Phones are wild… we really just sit around tapping glass all day.

0

5 months ago

addiction, around, day, glass, humor, just, life, modern, modern life, phone, phones, screen, sit, smartphone, tapping, technology, wild
It’s time to stare blankly at my wall for hours straight and think about where I went wrong with my life.

0

2 months ago

blank, hours, humor, i, life, procrastination, reflection, stare, straight, think, time, wall, where, wrong
Do you ever eat a properly salted meal and suddenly understand why the ancient Romans were willing to be paid in salt?

0

2 months ago

ancient, ancient Rome, eat, ever, food, humor, meal, paid, payment, properly, roman, Rome, salt, seasoning, understand, why
My toddler asked if we could go to the zoo today, and I said, “I can’t see that happening.” Then she literally left the room and came back with my glasses.

0

2 months ago

asked, back, came, funny moment, glasses, happening, humor, i, joke, left, literally, misunderstanding, moment, parenting, room, said, today, toddler, zoo

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Instagram this month:

The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

24 shares on Threads this month:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

68 shares on Reddit this month:

You can’t spell fries without friends. I guess what I’m saying is that fries are friends. Delicious friends.

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why can’t the house clean itself? It seems to get dirty by itself.

26 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

66 shares on Threads this month:

Pirate: walks the plank. Someone’s dad: Is this teak?

46 shares on Snapchat this month:

I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

66 shares on TikTok this month:

Scientists say humans are the most evolved, but bears get to get fat all summer and then sleep for four months, so who’s really ahead.

18 shares on Reddit this month:

Next time you think I am flirting with you, ask yourself if kindness is so rare in your life that you mistake it for desire.

22 shares on Telegram this month:

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Just got some minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

11 out of 10 women are always right.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

I love to see “pan-fried” on a menu. I hate food that’s fried in a shoe.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

I was actually about to do a workout when the couch threw itself protectively under me.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

I love all mythical creatures. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Humble enough to know I can be replaced, but wise enough to know ain’t nobody else like me.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

The most disturbing thing about waking up at 4 a.m. is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Just because I’m smiling doesn’t mean I like you, I might be picturing you on fire.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

We need a Disney princess who’s a greedy profiteer, so we can cheer for the poison apple.

Breaking via WeChat:

I wish it were social acceptable to say “I don’t care” and walk away mid conversation when you’re bored.

Seen just now on Messenger:

My ex said I had commitment issues but this giant jar of Nutella says otherwise.

Spotted on WeChat:

Watching a movie on the plane? No thanks. Watching my seatmate’s movie with no audio and not understanding what’s going on for over an hour? Yassss.

Trending via Telegram:

Guys with grey in their beards will do that thing you like.

Seen just now on Reddit:

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

Seen just now on X:

An adult is a person that keeps Ibuprofen in more than one place.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

(While my wife opens up her Christmas present) Remember when you said we needed milk?

Freshly posted on Discord:

The police said I was a ‘suspect’, but I prefer being called a ‘person of interest’.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I mean, sex is all right, but have you ever experienced the sheer sensuality of having rock-solid proof that a problem at work was someone else’s fault, even though it really, really looked like it was yours?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I always feel sleepy, except when I want to sleep.

It’s okay if you don’t like me, not everyone has good taste.

Phones are wild… we really just sit around tapping glass all day.

It’s time to stare blankly at my wall for hours straight and think about where I went wrong with my life.

Do you ever eat a properly salted meal and suddenly understand why the ancient Romans were willing to be paid in salt?

My toddler asked if we could go to the zoo today, and I said, “I can’t see that happening.” Then she literally left the room and came back with my glasses.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨