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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Hosting Thanksgiving? Bring up politics so everyone will leave early.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

AI could never steal company time the way I do.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Amazing if accurate: bleeding money.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

The gym gives you energy, but you need energy to get to the gym. Feels like a pyramid scheme, if you ask me.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

If you’re thinking what I’m thinking, you need professional help.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Does bisexual mean twice as sexual or once every other sexual?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

I’m officially at the age where I enjoy when people cancel plans.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,921

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

Entered this world crying, and honestly, not much has changed.

Just shared via YouTube:

Back to the Future and chill?

Trending via Threads:

I try to shoot all of my garbage into outer space, but usually it just lands in my neighbor’s backyard.

Spotted on Telegram:

I love how spring sprung and then disappeared again.

Spotted on WeChat:

There’s something meditative about cleaning. It’s the perfect time to reflect and plan revenge on every single person who has ever wronged you.

Just landed via Discord:

Welcome to your 40s… you can now use this as an excuse not to help a friend move.

Just landed via Instagram:

Scrolling… good take… bad take… nothing take… cyberbullying… beautiful woman.

I mean, sex is all right, but have you ever experienced the sheer sensuality of having rock-solid proof that a problem at work was someone else’s fault, even though it really, really looked like it was yours?

4 months ago

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Commentary:
Finding out it wasn’t your fault at work feels like discovering a hidden chocolate stash when you thought you were on a diet 🍫😆🎉

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

1 month ago
40, daily, daily life, galaxy, hour, humor, irony, life, planet, planets, satire, universe, week, weeks, work, work week
The future is buffering.

1 month ago
buffering, future, humor, joke, procrastination, technology
I like to listen to the national anthems during the award ceremonies. I’m into country music.

1 month ago
anthem, award, award ceremony, ceremony, country, country music, humor, i, listen, music, music preference, national, national anthem, preference
Wishing I could hit snooze on life’s alarm clock!

5 months ago
alarm, alarm clock, clock, hit, humor, i, life, morning, procrastination, snooze, wish, wishing
Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

1 month ago
humor, irony, offended, relationship, someone, treat
If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.

1 month ago
bad, humor, nature, only, oxygen, plant, planting, produce, technology, thing, too, trees, Wi-Fi, wifi

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Party rock is in the mouse tonighttt, piece of cheese I’m gonna take a big biteee.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

I am not leaving this house until my hoodie strings are even.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

There should be a day between Sunday and Monday called Hang on a Second.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

ALF is what happens when you are high on drugs in the 80s.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Naps are like gambling for the tired. You either wake up refreshed or too late to lots of angry texts.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

Now that I got a library card, I’m moving differently.

Spotted on WeChat:

Do you ever wish you could just walk away mid-conversation when you’re bored?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

You ever got inside jokes with yourself, or is that schizophrenia?

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Sorry, can you repeat what you said? I didn’t have my glasses on.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

God: “Free will was a bad idea. I should have charged for it.”

Just shared via WhatsApp:

“What’s love?” Grandma sliding money into my hand like a drug dealer. Yeah, man, that’s love.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Be the reason why a count unleashes ancient horrors onto the world when he thinks of you.

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Activity Log ✨

I mean, sex is all right, but have you ever experienced the sheer sensuality of having rock-solid proof that a problem at work was someone else’s fault, even though it really, really looked like it was yours?

All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

The future is buffering.

I like to listen to the national anthems during the award ceremonies. I’m into country music.

Wishing I could hit snooze on life’s alarm clock!

Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

According to the BMI chart, I am too short.

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

If you inject Botox into a raisin, does it turn back into a grape?

Unfortunately, if you want to end your single life, you have to do something. So that’s not for me.

The only way to my heart is with a knife.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

No more looking back in anger. It’s time to look forward in anger.

My favorite pastime is staying up way later than I should and complaining the next day about how tired I am.

At the doctor’s office, booing all the names being called that aren’t mine.

Referring to normal shoes as non-bowling shoes.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Everyone’s “the nicest guy ever” until the cops are in their backyard digging up several bodies.

Working my first office job. Is it normal to have nothing to do?

Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner.

If I were a category, I’d be “miscellaneous.”

I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Being a millennial means finding out you can’t afford to live in that apartment complex you thought was really shady when you were a kid.

Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.

Everything is 10 times funnier when you are supposed to be quiet.

Funny that the Three Wise Men brought probably the three worst presents for a newborn baby.

Animals are so crazy because, why is your mom only one year older than you?

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I mean, sex is all right, but have you ever experienced the sheer sensuality of having rock-solid proof that a problem at work was someone else’s fault, even though it really, really looked like it was yours?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

The future is buffering.

I like to listen to the national anthems during the award ceremonies. I’m into country music.

Wishing I could hit snooze on life’s alarm clock!

Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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