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Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'plot twist' moment in a romantic comedy… or is it a horror movie?! 👀🎬 Here's to finding 'the one' who doesn't ghost you faster than a magician makes a rabbit disappear! 🎩🐇✨"

again, breakup, date, dating, disappointment, expectations, hear, humor, i, love, man, me, relationship, right, think

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

0

2 months ago

am, block, blocking, confidence, here, humor, hurricane, i, me, media, metaphor, playful, sarcasm, social, social media
Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

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3 months ago

asking, card, confusion, customer, customers, humor, me, payment, say, shit
When I say “I’m open to feedback” I mean “I accept compliments.”

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2 months ago

communication, compliment, expectation, feedback, humor, irony, self-esteem
My cat just sneezed a bunch of times in a row and then hissed at himself. What an icon!

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6 months ago

animal, animal reaction, behavior, cat, funny pet, hiss, humor, just, pet, pet behavior, reaction, row, sneeze, times
The sexual tension between me and the person I’m not supposed to have any sexual tension with.

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4 weeks ago

attraction, awkward, desire, forbidden, humor, me, person, relationship, sexual, sexual tension, tension
There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

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2 months ago

author, believe, blurb, book, great, humor, i, irony, minimalism, new, read, reading, sarcasm, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on TikTok this month:

Yes, I am super annoying, but don’t worry, it’s just permanent.

80 shares on YouTube this month:

Sometimes I do random acts of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If I was a star and you were a star, I would wink at you and blink at you and twinkle at you and the earthlings would call it science.

96 shares on YouTube this month:

How lazy are you?” I greet people by raising my eyebrows.

44 shares on Twitch this month:

“Stop recording everything and just enjoy the moment” is asking me for videos from last night.

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

Whoever invented the “skip intro” button really understood humans.

26 shares on X this month:

Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train.

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My transformation into a bitter, angry old woman is almost complete.

42 shares on Discord this month:

Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Due to inflation, a picture is now worth 2300 words.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Naturally introverted, selectively extroverted.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

When I’m not posting or returning messages, just know that I’m probably out doing superhero shit.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

I really feel like we need to have more fun in life, because literally nothing matters.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

It’s so cold outside I saw a gangster pull his pants up and walk stiffly.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

People who remember to drink water, what’s that like?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

I’m one of those lucky people that can eat whatever they want and not put on any clothes.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

I’m at the age where I’m more likely to fall asleep at the movie theater than get frisky in one.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

They should invent health insurance that insures your health.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

You give my middle finger an erection.

Just shared via Facebook:

A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So, in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

Spotted on Discord:

Snaccident: eating a whole bag of Doritos in one sitting.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

When I learned the word “literally,” that was the beginning of the end.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I think my dog always follows me to the bathroom because I always follow him outside and he thinks that’s the way it works.

Going viral on Threads:

I would love to go back to the days when the biggest stress was finding the best hiding place when playing hide and seek.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

Making waves on Facebook:

Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Farmers markets should be for vegetables — not for millennials unloading their failed Etsy-store arts and crafts.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I think this man might be the one, I say right before he dumps me and I never hear from him again.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

When I say “I’m open to feedback” I mean “I accept compliments.”

My cat just sneezed a bunch of times in a row and then hissed at himself. What an icon!

The sexual tension between me and the person I’m not supposed to have any sexual tension with.

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨