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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Science has enough bodies, I’m donating mine to English lit just to spice things up a bit.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Shrimp: “When I grow up, I want to be food waste at a gala.”

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Turning regret into ulcers since the day I was born.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

My body is in shock this morning from having to wake up early and wear hard pants.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

The only function of a middle name is so a child can assess how much danger they’re in.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

“Made with love,” means I licked the spoon and kept using it.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

53 minutes ago

3,422

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

Me, with $33 left after paying bills: Let’s see how much a Land Rover costs.

Shared recently on X:

Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?

Live now on Snapchat:

ROMO (relief of missing out)

Spotted on X:

I can’t wait until I’m old enough to pretend I can’t hear.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I love when I get an email from a brand saying “we miss you!” with no coupon attached. Babe, a lot of people miss me, let’s be competitive here.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Fake laughing with customers is actually a job skill.

Reported on Instagram:

But that was my emotional support daylight.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Idiocracy wasn’t supposed to be a documentary.

Seen just now on Discord:

I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

Breaking via Messenger:

I was sad, but then I ordered some new clothes. I’m okay now.

Pool rules: You’re not allowed to do anything that begins with the words ‘Hey everyone watch this!’

4 months ago

Pool rules: You’re not allowed to do anything that begins with the words ‘Hey everyone watch this!’

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the infamous 'Hey everyone watch this!' clause – the universal signal for impending chaos and potential disaster at the pool. It's like a siren call for lifeguards to brace themselves and for spectators to prepare for some quality entertainment. Remember, folks, the only thing you should be showing off at the pool is your impeccable cannonball form!"

activity, everyone, fun, humor, pool, rule, safety, watch, words

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

53 minutes ago

3,422

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

She’s got style. She’s got grace. She dropped her cellphone on her face. She’s a lady.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Only money has the right to say “you’ll regret losing me”. The rest of you calm down.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Not wearing glasses anymore, I’ve seen enough.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

If you relate to me, get some help!

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Can’t wait for my husband to see what he bought everyone for Christmas.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

I wish there was a nicer way to say “my natural tendency to spot patterns is making me feel very uncomfortable about you”.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

My friend thinks he’s smart. He said onions are the only food that makes him cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

We’re all naughty, some just more than others.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

Laziness is the art to rest before one gets tired.

Just shared via WeChat:

When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on shoes.

Breaking via X:

Sometimes I want to sleep, but my brain decides to do a little tap dance through every mistake I’ve ever made, instead.

Going viral on Threads:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I asked R2D2, and he said you’re a loser.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

God: “I used to work in mysterious ways but now I’m unemployed.”

Just landed via Discord:

Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.

Trending via Twitch:

I am losing touch with reality and I couldn’t be happier.

Trending via Discord:

The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I bought a 12 year old whiskey. His parents are furious.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

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