Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Women aren’t complicated. Just give us attention and leave us alone.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Feminism convinced women they could have it all. Now they’re 40, independent, and crying in a very nice but empty apartment.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

At my funeral, take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Managers want a week of silence and meditation in order to be even more of a manager afterwards.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Always funny to see motivational posts from people I know are toxic in real life.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

If history repeats itself, I’m getting a pet dinosaur.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

My toddler asked if we could go to the zoo today, and I said, “I can’t see that happening.” Then she literally left the room and came back with my glasses.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Amazon’s checkout needs a breathalyzer feature which cancels your order if you’ve been clearly drunk-shopping.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Very confusing that gross pay is before tax. I always find the number way grosser after tax.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

357 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,626

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,626

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,331

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

Having little kids is great because I love spending hundreds of dollars each week to feed my floor and my trash can.

Making waves on WeChat:

I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Excuse me, can you direct me to the nonsense?

Going viral on Discord:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my ID photo.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Panties is such a weird word. Panties. I can’t say it sexy.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I bet she doesn’t even laugh at your dumb jokes the fake way I did.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Sex is cool and all, but have you ever tried obsessing over a mediocre person who’s just not that into you.

Trending via TikTok:

All dogs are therapy dogs. The majority are just freelancing.

Spotted on Instagram:

Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me.

Breaking via TikTok:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this red wine just now.

If someone drunk texts you, appreciate it. They’ve thought of you when they can barely think straight.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When someone drunk texts you, consider it a rock-solid testament to your undeniable charm 🍻🤔💫

appreciate, appreciation, communication, drunk, drunk text, friendship, humor, intoxication, message, someone, straight, text, texting, texts, think, thought

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Could someone please come over here and be the adult? I’m too tired.

2 months ago

adult, exhaustion, here, humor, over, request, responsibility, someone, tired, too
Every time I leave the house, I’m reminded why sweatpants exist.

6 months ago

casualwear, comfort, every, exist, fashion, house, humor, i, leave, leaving, sweatpant, sweatpants, time, why
Feeling lonely? Just glue a coffee cup to the roof of your car. Everyone will wave to you.

2 months ago

activity, car, coffee, coffee cup, cup, everyone, feeling, fun, fun activity, funny idea, humor, idea, interaction, just, lonely, roof, social, social interaction, wave
I’m sick of waking up thinking about the government, and going to bed thinking about the government.

3 days ago

bed, daily, daily life, frustration, going, going to bed, government, life, politics, sick, thinking, thought, waking, waking up
Whoever invented the gender reveal party needs to be launched into the sun.

2 months ago

exaggeration, gender, gender reveal, humor, invention, needs, party, reveal, satire, sun
People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

2 months ago

apocalypse, boredom, cynicism, heart, humor, humor quote, i, know, least, people, sarcasm, say, stuff, think, true, war, well, work, WWIII

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I was telling my sister that I’ve been going to the gym recently, and my nephew said, “You should go inside when you get there,” and I don’t think I’ll ever recover from that.

29 shares on Twitch this month:

Time is precious, waste it wisely.

84 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Cashews are my favorite because they’re salty and hunched over just like me.

90 shares on Messenger this month:

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.

100 shares on Reddit this month:

What’s it called when you’re super insecure but, at the same time, you can walk into a room full of people and think you’re better than everyone else?

83 shares on Facebook this month:

I miss being a kid. Nobody asks what my favorite dinosaur is anymore.

53 shares on WeChat this month:

Buying books and reading them are actually two entirely different hobbies.

73 shares on WeChat this month:

I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.

13 shares on Reddit this month:

I smoke weed for my mental health and your personal safety.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

You don’t see people giving bunny ears in photos anymore.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Whenever I’m with real yappers, I realize I might actually be a listener.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Please text me back. I’m about to start making stuff up in my head, and the stuff is all bad.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, a great many problems in life can be solved by just being hotter.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

There is nothing worse in life than calling customer service and hearing an Indian accent.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Who develops the algorithm? I want to speak to the manager.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

I will charge a 25% tariff on my steely gaze.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

Yes, my date did get up and leave during dinner, but luckily she hadn’t finished her food.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Women in movies look so beautiful when they sleep. Meanwhile, I’m tossing and turning all night like a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog.

Going viral on TikTok:

I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

Trending via Telegram:

My neighbors were up shouting all night. I could barely hear my bagpipes.

Making waves on Discord:

Having a crush is so fun, it’s literally just butterflies and delusion.

Spotted on Threads:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I can’t flirt, but I’ll awkwardly giggle at everything you say.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I hate commas. It’s not my job to tell you when you breathe. Work it out, you’re a grown adult.

Spreading quickly via X:

Hangman is so great. No better way for a child to learn how to spell than by having to save a man from hanging to death.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Anyone else get excited about going to bed because you know there’ll be coffee in the morning, or is that just me?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If someone drunk texts you, appreciate it. They’ve thought of you when they can barely think straight.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Could someone please come over here and be the adult? I’m too tired.

Every time I leave the house, I’m reminded why sweatpants exist.

Feeling lonely? Just glue a coffee cup to the roof of your car. Everyone will wave to you.

I’m sick of waking up thinking about the government, and going to bed thinking about the government.

Whoever invented the gender reveal party needs to be launched into the sun.

People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨