Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

I’ve never been cut in half by a magician, but I have worn jeans on Thanksgiving. Same thing.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

I wanna marry someone funnier than me, but sadly, I am the funniest.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

I commented to a friend that I didn’t know how goofy Scream was. It turns out I have never seen Scream. I saw Scary Movie.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

You’re not a knight in shining armor, you’re just a knob in Under Armour.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Should I ever be mean and insulting, then it comes from the bottom of my heart.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

I hate when people are like “you are so nice”. I’m ugly, I have no other choice.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Elevator rides in real life: 30 seconds long. Elevator rides in movies: Two minutes long.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

356 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,625

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,625

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,295

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

I didn’t mean to mimic your voice, I just had to know what it felt like to sound like that.

Spotted on Telegram:

My spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Why are conclusions necessary in essays? Were you not following?

Seen just now on Instagram:

Texting my boss from the job I got laid off from 5 months ago and telling him I have diarrhea.

Making waves on Telegram:

I can’t be bothered with people that can’t be bothered.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The divorce process is easier than breaking up with your hair stylist.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

We need a word for a type of person who spends all their time working to live in a city so they can be near cool things, but they don’t actually like going out.

Seen just now on Discord:

You should tell different people completely different things about yourself so that they then get into arguments when gossiping about you.

Just shared via TikTok:

“A healthy lifestyle is all about balance,” I say as I drive through Taco Bell after working out.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

If someone drunk texts you, appreciate it. They’ve thought of you when they can barely think straight.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When someone drunk texts you, consider it a rock-solid testament to your undeniable charm 🍻🤔💫

appreciate, appreciation, communication, drunk, drunk text, friendship, humor, intoxication, message, someone, straight, text, texting, texts, think, thought

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t get how alcohol turns y’all evil. I just start giggling and get slutty.

2 months ago

alcohol, evil, fun, giggling, humor, i, just, laughter, party, slutty, start
I was not meant to work a job; I was meant to lay down and ponder.

2 months ago

humor, i, job, lay, lay down, laziness, meant, ponder, relaxation, work
Not to brag, but I just walked upstairs and remembered why.

2 months ago

brag, forgetfulness, humor, i, just, memory, reason, stairs, upstairs, why
They should name a personality disorder after me.

2 months ago

after, disorder, me, name, personality, should
“I’m so good at doing nothing. I wish I could get paid for it.”

3 months ago

doing, doing nothing, good, humor, i, laziness, motivation, nothing, paid, payment, procrastination, skill, wish, work
Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

2 months ago

app, challenge, dating, difficulty, humor, level, love, online, online dating, option, relationship, search, searching, settings, turn

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Instagram this month:

Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?

95 shares on Twitch this month:

Santa has the right idea: only visit people once a year, eat a snack, leave early.

41 shares on TikTok this month:

When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, so it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips!

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

Being a writer means canceling your plans so you have time to write, and then spending hours avoiding writing.

12 shares on Discord this month:

Every day I tell myself, “You got this,” and every day, “this” gets weirder.

33 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I bought a bag of M&M’s and they don’t have M’s anymore. They all have W’s, for woke.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

Why does the phone ring longer when you’re ignoring the call?

96 shares on Reddit this month:

Sorry, can’t go out tonight. My bed told me it needs me, and I can’t let it down.

21 shares on Snapchat this month:

I met a microbiologist today. He was a lot bigger than I expected.

54 shares on Instagram this month:

I want you to know that whatever problems you’re having, I’m hear to ‘like’ them.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Becoming an adult was the worst thing I’ve ever done.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Іf Empire Strikes Back isn’t a Christmas movie, then why is there so much snow in it?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Imagine being in the Trojan horse with the lads, pure darkness and giggling like hehehe

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Definitely thought I’d be solving mysteries and unmasking ghosts in a van with a dog by this point in my life.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

I always imagined WWIII would be Earth vs. aliens.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

I love when women move on. It’s my favourite genre.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Just drank a big glass of water, and I regret to inform you, they might be right about hydration.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

You’re in his DMs, I’m outside his window with a JBL speaker streaming Taylor Swift.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star, and that’s exactly why I’m the way I am.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

An alcoholic morning show host becoming Secretary of War is some Kurt Vonnegut shit.

Making waves on Telegram:

Accidentally manifested an emotionally intelligent man that is hot and can cook. We’re currently staring at each other.

Just shared via TikTok:

Even if you like anime, you gotta still wear deodorant, man.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

Making waves on Threads:

‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

Going bananas on Slack:

They should invent someone who holds me.

Making waves on Instagram:

Friendly reminder that double negatives are a big no-no.

Going viral on Messenger:

Santa has the right idea: only visit people once a year, eat a snack, leave early.

Seen just now on X:

The amount of sleeping I’ve done over the past few days has been phenomenal. I genuinely love doing absolutely nothing.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If someone drunk texts you, appreciate it. They’ve thought of you when they can barely think straight.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I don’t get how alcohol turns y’all evil. I just start giggling and get slutty.

I was not meant to work a job; I was meant to lay down and ponder.

Not to brag, but I just walked upstairs and remembered why.

They should name a personality disorder after me.

“I’m so good at doing nothing. I wish I could get paid for it.”

Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨