Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

I just need my friends to know I would do absolutely anything for them, except reply to their message.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Girlfriend is temporary, ex-girlfriend is forever.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Floating on a rock in space, but yeah – 9 to 5 sounds reasonable.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Your secret is safe with me because I don’t care.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Probably the most depressed I’ve ever been in my life, except for a bunch of other times.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Therapists are like, “You don’t owe anyone anything. Except me. You owe me 250 dollars for this session.”

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

When you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Just blocked someone for correcting my spelling and it feelded great.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,816

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

Just shared via Messenger:

There aren’t any emojis that really express any meaningful sort of anguish.

Shared recently on Discord:

I’m so embarrassed by the paragraphs I used to send expressing my feelings.

Just shared via Twitch:

They just don’t put milkshakes in the yard like they used to.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

Seen just now on Twitch:

Refusing to attend my brother’s gambling intervention until they agree to call it a slot shaming.

Just landed via Instagram:

Welcome to your 50’s; you can have a really good laugh at everyone moaning about their aches and pains in their 30’s.

Trending via WhatsApp:

If you ever have a crush on someone and want it to end, listen to a podcast they are on.

Shared recently on Facebook:

A thing I never realized about being an adult is that you will always be cleaning your kitchen. No matter if you get takeout, no matter if you’re gone all day, you will be cleaning the kitchen.

Going viral on Facebook:

Nobody warns you of the devastation two days of stuffing will bring upon your digestive system.

If someone drunk texts you, appreciate it. They’ve thought of you when they can barely think straight.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When someone drunk texts you, consider it a rock-solid testament to your undeniable charm 🍻🤔💫

appreciate, appreciation, communication, drunk, drunk text, friendship, humor, intoxication, message, someone, straight, text, texting, texts, think, thought

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

0

2 months ago

aggressive, bro, chill, come out, getting, humor, morning, pee, threaten, urge
Decorated the house across the street so I can look out the window and enjoy my handiwork.

0

2 months ago

across, activity, creative, creative activity, decorated, decorated house, decoration, enjoy, fun, handiwork, holiday, holiday spirit, home, home decoration, house, i, neighborly, neighborly fun, spirit, street, view, window, window view
Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

0

1 month ago

12, addiction, chocolate, day, eye, hearing, humor, lost, struggle
I respectfully ignore DMs because I promise you, I am not your soulmate.

0

5 months ago

am, communication, DM, DMs, humor, i, ignore, media, message, online, online communication, promise, rejection, social, social media, soulmate
America is like that TV show that’s been on for too long, and the writers don’t know what to do, so they just make anything happen.

0

1 month ago

America, anything, confusion, entertainment, happen, humor, just, know, plot, satire, show, storyline, television, too, TV, TV Show, writer, writers
If you say my name three times in the mirror, I show up and kiss you on the forehead.

0

5 months ago

forehead, humor, i, joke, kiss, mirror, name, playful, say, show, superstition, three, times

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Telegram this month:

Terrible things can happen if you go camping. For starters, you could want to go camping again.

15 shares on X this month:

This call, should’ve been a message in a bottle I never found.

88 shares on Threads this month:

Have you ever apologized to your car after you hit a pothole?

86 shares on Messenger this month:

We should bring gargoyles back, more buildings need freaky little guys on them.

87 shares on Messenger this month:

We always asked “where is Waldo” but never “who is Waldo hiding from”.

23 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m not shaking hands anymore. You may bow or kneel down.

48 shares on Facebook this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here talking baby talk to my plants.

92 shares on Twitch this month:

I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.

98 shares on Facebook this month:

I wish I were a wild horse in Kazakhstan. That would fix everything.

30 shares on X this month:

Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Men love to show you a YouTube video. It is a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

There are people who leave comments on porn videos.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

As it turns out, the only way to avoid work stress is not going.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

And is this “year-end bonus” in the room with us right now?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Deleting tweets like a writer who burns his manuscripts.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch? Each witch would watch which watch belonged to which witch’s wrist.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

So we have actual fact checkers who know all the facts? Why not create a TV channel where they just give us the facts? We could call it the News.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Do you ever think back about all the crazy stuff you did when you were younger, and wonder how you’re still alive?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Donuts are beautiful creatures, and they deserve their own week on the nature channels.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Researchers have discovered that birthdays are healthy. People who have more grow older.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

Can someone call my keys? I forgot where I put them.

Just shared via Telegram:

Channeling my inner forest ghost: hauntingly fabulous and slightly lost.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I don’t understand, “kill them with kindness”; can I use a lightsaber instead?

Trending via Twitch:

When someone asks me what my dream job is, it’s just like “I don’t know dude, I don’t dream about jobs”

Seen just now on Messenger:

The cool thing about Twitter is you’re never the craziest one.

Just landed via Snapchat:

A narcissist wants the authority of a king while having the accountability of a toddler.

Trending via TikTok:

Job posting: $15/hr for master’s degree. Burrito menu: $23 for bean and cheese burrito.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Girls actually do love nice guys. It’s just that you’re not as nice a guy as you think you are…

Making waves on YouTube:

Ghost stories sound way scarier with an English accent.

Trending via Twitch:

The only thing faster than an escalator is an escasooner.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

If someone drunk texts you, appreciate it. They’ve thought of you when they can barely think straight.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

Decorated the house across the street so I can look out the window and enjoy my handiwork.

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

I respectfully ignore DMs because I promise you, I am not your soulmate.

America is like that TV show that’s been on for too long, and the writers don’t know what to do, so they just make anything happen.

If you say my name three times in the mirror, I show up and kiss you on the forehead.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨