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Updated: May 21, 2026

 

 

 

 

Funny intoxication quotes

Funny intoxication quotes 🍸😂 bring a hilarious twist to those blurry nights and unforgettable memories (or lack thereof)! Whether you’re celebrating with friends 🎉 or just love a cheeky chuckle about tipsy tales, these witty sayings perfectly capture the lighter side of getting buzzed. Get ready to laugh, relate, and maybe even share a toast 🥂 to the amusing adventures of intoxication!

Explain it to me like I’m 5 drinks in.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

If someone drunk texts you, appreciate it. They’ve thought of you when they can barely think straight.

Posted onApr 1, 2026

What would you do if you were in my situation right now? The situation being that I’m drunk.

Posted onMar 31, 2026

When you’re two beers in, and you realize she looks like God.

Posted onMar 30, 2026

If alcohol damages your short-term memory, imagine what alcohol can do.

Posted onMar 30, 2026

One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.

Posted onMar 30, 2026

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

Posted onMar 28, 2026

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