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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Everything is a sign from God if you’re schizophrenic enough.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Aging isn’t even 1% as scary as whatever is going on with the people trying not to.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Whenever you are feeling down, remember you’re the sperm that won.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Therapy isn’t about being “fixed.” It’s about being your therapist’s favorite patient.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Few things in life are as disappointing as having to poop right after a shower.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example: Jill ate her friend’s sandwich VS Jill ate her friend’s colon.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as “interesting.”

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

I don’t drink and drive, but some people drive me to drink.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Even when I look up the slang of today’s kids, I still have no idea what it means.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Worrying is just worshipping the problem.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,728

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I like to describe the difference between theory and practice with shopping lists and receipts.

Going viral on X:

That moment when a zombie out for brains walks past you.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Nobody is meaner to me than me. So take your shot.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Imagine having a negative opinion of me, and I have no idea who you are.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Took a break from social media because my cat was asleep on my phone.

Trending via Telegram:

My life started becoming a mess when I was put in charge of my own bedtime.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

Spotted on Threads:

Good morning to life’s chaos, where my coffee is the only thing that makes sense!

Just shared via Messenger:

I prefer the Easter Bunny, for starters, he’s not making a list and checking it twice, and more importantly, he’s not watching me when I’m sleeping.

If you say something while exhaling smoke, it is 10 times more profound.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When I blow out birthday candles, I become a philosopher. 🎂💨🤔"

comedy, exaggeration, humor, humor style, humorous, humorous observation, irony, observation, sarcasm, satire, say, smoke, smoking, something, style, times, while, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You don’t even have to date, by the way. You can just take a break from love and then randomly meet the actual love of your life somewhere you weren’t even supposed to be.

0

4 weeks ago

actual, break, date, even, humor, just, life, love, meet, meeting, relationship, somewhere, take, unexpected, unexpected meeting
If history repeats itself, I’m getting a pet dinosaur.

0

2 months ago

dinosaur, getting, history, humor, joke, pet, repeat
Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

0

2 months ago

always, arguing, black, black sheep, corner, culture, digital, digital culture, humor, internet, media, online, online platform, platform, satire, self-argument, sheep, social, social media, tech, tech humor, Twitter, web
Me, when a 25-year-old talks to me: please be patient with me, I’m from the 1900s.

0

3 months ago

1900s, 25, 25 year old, age, age gap, conversation, gap, generation, generation gap, humor, me, old, patience, patient, please, year
In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

0

5 months ago

aisle, baking, baking aisle, baking ingredient, booing, buying, everyone, extract, grocery, grocery store, humor, imitation, imitation vanilla, ingredient, shopping, store, vanilla, vanilla extract
Dear autocorrect, that’s not what I was trying to say. I’m getting tired of your shirt.

0

2 months ago

autocorrect, communication, frustration, getting, humor, i, shirt, technology, tired, trying

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on WeChat this month:

I’ve reached the age where I just bought a bird bath for my backyard.

70 shares on WhatsApp this month:

An escape room, but it’s just your high school reunion.

84 shares on Threads this month:

This too shall pass… It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The free hotel blow-dryer should be easier to get off the bathroom wall.

25 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Someone needs to press pause on this weekend.

60 shares on YouTube this month:

My favorite conspiracy theory is that everything is going to be OK.

82 shares on WeChat this month:

Everything is a sign from God if you’re schizophrenic enough.

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m going to try and be less of a people pleaser, is everyone ok with that?

87 shares on Twitch this month:

Everybody loves that comfort food until you end up with that comfort body.

56 shares on Slack this month:

Don’t wait for later to eat the cake. Do it now, before another mammal of your household finds it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

When is a robot gonna take over my job? Please?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Just bought a new umbrella for the person that finds it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

The two types of video games are kill everything that moves and Microsoft Excel.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Why do they have to make things childproof when I’m still functioning at a kindergarten level of dexterity?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Me, after skipping the tutorial: how the hell do you play this game?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Reverse cowgirl so I can bend backward and look at him like the Exorcist.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

You ever killed your own vibe by remembering?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 50s, where coffee is the new happy hour and mornings are the new hangover.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Nature is fascinating. A dandelion makes it through concrete, while I get my head stuck in my sweater in the morning.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Called in telepathically this morning, so they know I’m thinking of them.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

Unloading the dishwasher in the opposite direction just to feel something.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

“The engine light is on!” Yeah, that means it’s working.

Spotted on Discord:

“Why are you so quiet?” Because I’m barely even here.

Just shared via Messenger:

Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Tailgating me while I’m going 90 in a 45 is crazy. And those red and blue lights on top of your car look stupid, btw, lol.

Just landed via Twitch:

I was going to learn to play the violin, but it was too much of a commitment. I wanted something with no strings attached.

Spotted on WeChat:

Crossing my fingers one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Oh no, we don’t go in there. That room belongs to the spiders.

Trending via Instagram:

Another Netflix price increase? Guess we’re only chilling now.

Making waves on YouTube:

Mario Kart turned out to be the best training for winter driving.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you say something while exhaling smoke, it is 10 times more profound.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You don’t even have to date, by the way. You can just take a break from love and then randomly meet the actual love of your life somewhere you weren’t even supposed to be.

If history repeats itself, I’m getting a pet dinosaur.

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

Me, when a 25-year-old talks to me: please be patient with me, I’m from the 1900s.

In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

Dear autocorrect, that’s not what I was trying to say. I’m getting tired of your shirt.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨