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New funny quotes: 8229 this month

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Updated: May 24, 2026

 

 

 

 

18 Funny smoke quotes

Funny smoke quotes spark laughter and lighten the mood with their witty twists on a smoky subject!🔥 Whether you’re a fan of clever wordplay or just love a good chuckle, these jokes and puns will have you exhaling smiles in no time.😂 Perfect for sharing with friends or adding some humor to your day, get ready to blow away boredom with a puff of fun!💨😄

I find myself thinking “God, I need a cigarette” way too often for someone who doesn’t actually smoke.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

I call my smoke detector Gordon Ramsay, because every time I cook it screams at me.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Every homemade dinner counts as negative calories because of the exercise we get waving pillows at the smoke detectors.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

According to the smoke alarm, the food is ready.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I lied, there’s no sex. I just need you to change the batteries in my smoke detectors.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Bands who can’t afford a smoke machine should hire my wife to cook at their concert.

Posted onMay 18, 2026

One day my sanity went out for smokes and never came back.

Posted onMay 18, 2026

So blunt, you can smoke my truth.

Posted onApr 1, 2026

If your coffee shop has a passive-aggressive ‘no Wi-Fi, pretend it’s the old days’ sign, I’m gonna smoke in there and pay 50 cents for coffee.

Posted onApr 1, 2026

If you smoke pot in Saudi Arabia, you risk getting stoned.

Posted onApr 1, 2026

Runners who smoke need to pick a side.

Posted onMar 31, 2026

If you say something while exhaling smoke, it is 10 times more profound.

Posted onMar 30, 2026

I like smoke and lightning, your honor, heavy metal thunder, racing with the wind. You know that feeling I am under.

Posted onMar 29, 2026

I smoke weed for my mental health and your personal safety.

Posted onMar 29, 2026

Men used to smoke Marlboros. Now they cry when they lose their strawberry cheesecake vape.

Posted onMar 28, 2026

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.

Posted onMar 28, 2026

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

Posted onMar 27, 2026

My Native American name would be Smokes Cigarettes.

Posted onMar 27, 2026

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