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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Me in hell: “So did it hurt when you fell from heaven.” Lucifer: “Get out!”

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Hate when anxiety gives me stomach problems. Like, baby, you are supposed to be a mental disorder, please stay in your line.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Sometimes, I feel like my brain is still running on Windows 95.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Sorry for the things I said when the internet was down for 10 minutes.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Sometimes I sneeze so loud and hard I think I’m a dad.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

If I was the inventor of healing, I would have made it linear, I can tell you that much.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

If I walk into a girl’s house and she got like 50 plants, I know she’s a keeper because she already takes care of a bunch of useless things. What’s one more?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Shoutout to myself for ruining my own life.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast, it had to be done by Elvis.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Spotted on Telegram:

As funny as it sounds, the easiest way to get women is by having a girlfriend.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

You can tell it’s desperate times the way spam messages have gone from fantasies like ‘I am a prince and I want to give you money’ to ‘I am an HR manager and I have a real job for you!’

Just shared via Instagram:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, tomorrow is Christmas.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

No, I’m not stressed. I just constantly grind my teeth and clench my jaw for fun.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

When we’re old, the children will use Covid to explain our brain damaged opinions much like we do to Boomers with lead. It is fate.

Seen just now on Discord:

Working with children gives you so much in return. Lice, for example.

Making waves on X:

Sometimes I think about starting a podcast and then I remember all I do during conversations is nod.

Going viral on Telegram:

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Sex is cool and all, but have you ever tried obsessing over a mediocre person who’s just not that into you.

“I’m pretty good with money unless I leave my house or have access to the internet.”

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“I’m pretty good with money unless I leave my house or have access to the internet.”
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Commentary:
Relatable! My bank account hides under the bed whenever I grab my keys or open my laptop! 💸😅🚪🖥️

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Not to brag, but I was unhinged way before it was cool.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

We decided to have money instead of children.

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

Eating spaghetti to forgetti my regretti.

21 shares on Discord this month:

If I go quiet, it’s because I am plotting my escape or your demise.

98 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Fyi, if you like listening to “rain sounds,” they’re almost all recordings of chicken being fried.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

I just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

36 shares on Facebook this month:

One day you burned a CD for the last time and didn’t even realize it.

21 shares on YouTube this month:

God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.

42 shares on TikTok this month:

You should always wash your sheets once a week in case they are really ghosts and need a shower.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I get all the cardio I need by running out of patience.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Mario Kart gave me unrealistic expectations of how banana peels affect traffic.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Caught my husband staring at me again. He’s probably weighing his pros and cons.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember, for some unknown reason Santa doesn’t make batteries.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

As a wife and mother my hobbies include rage cleaning, rage cooking, and rage folding.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t. Just put my hair in a bun and that’s just about enough exercise for today.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I want a small, tasteful wedding. No family. No friends. No groom. Just me eating a big cake.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

God, never seen San Francisco this bad. Spiderwebs completely covering entire business, skeletons just strewn about sidewalks in every neighborhood. Things have got to change!

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,581

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

My default setting is sexual energy.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

The concept of a drive-by doesn’t really exist in the swamp biome; instead, people rap about doing bog-emerges.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

The older I get, the more I walk like Charlie Chaplin.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Remember, if you start with, “It’s crazy to think…” you can say whatever you want.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

All I’m saying is that porn gives us an unrealistic expectation of how quickly the electrician shows up.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Dear brain, please stop thinking so much exactly when it’s time to fall asleep.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m thinking stuff like “yeah” and also stuff like “yup.”

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Petition to change the name of rice cakes to something else as they are 100% rice and 0% cake and I’m tired of all the gaslighting.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

I just tried on my summer wardrobe. The only thing I managed to get into was a state of panic.

Going viral on Telegram:

Remember those days when you missed school and you’d check the time and think, “They’re eating right now.”

Just shared via Instagram:

Don’t go keto, go pirate. Rum, fish and beef jerky diet.

Trending via Reddit:

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

Just shared via Threads:

Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

Live now on Telegram:

I told all my neighbors that I have a twin, so that when I see them in public I don’t have to talk to them.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Just got my steps in by avoiding someone I know.

Going viral on Slack:

I’ll call it a smartphone when I yell “Where’s my phone?” and it yells back “Down here in the couch cushions!”

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Just remember, you don’t need a special reason to buy a cake.

Just shared via Discord:

Party rock is in the mouse tonighttt, piece of cheese I’m gonna take a big biteee.

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