My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something. Posted onMay 27, 2026 by slickboy in Funny Quotes 💾 Save Image Commentary:Sounds like you've unlocked the divine art of selective hearing! πβ¨ Related funny posts π€ I can’t wait until I’m old enough to pretend I can’t hear. My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said. Most people don’t listen at all, they just wait until they can continue talking. My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because itβs the key to our happy marriage. My favorite part about talking to my teens is when they give me direct eye contact, listen intently, nod understandingly and then do the exact opposite of what I just said.