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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Someone needs to invent a kid that listens the first time.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Called in, “Hey, macarena!” this morning.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

I would love to go back to the days when the biggest stress was finding the best hiding place when playing hide and seek.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

If I would’ve known that you were going to ask me what I was thinking, I wouldn’t have been thinking what I was thinking.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

I like to play this fun game while I clean out the fridge called what is this, how long has it been in here and how do I kill it?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

When intelligence meets empathy and kindness, it’s so sexy.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

My husband was unable to find his coat earlier as he’d accidentally hung it up.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

The older I get, the more I appreciate people who pretend not to notice me when they see me out in public.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Liking a post I don’t understand just to impress the algorithm.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,256

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Twitch:

Some people have goals based on a summer body. Mine revolve entirely around the weight limit of my beach chairs.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Me to HR: Okay, but you have to admit that was funny.

Going viral on Messenger:

I don’t get treadmills, I mean if I walk I better reach somewhere.

Making waves on Reddit:

Next time I feel butterflies, I’m chugging down a bottle of tequila so they drown.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Everytime I spend $20 I think this is fine because I won’t do it again. And then would you believe.

Spotted on Facebook:

People believe that they have brains but maybe that’s just inside their heads.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Do beavers even know what they’re doing, or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, “Absolutely not”?

Making waves on TikTok:

“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

Just landed via Reddit:

Me, seeing a man proposing to a woman in public: Hey, this guy bothering you?

Just shared via Messenger:

You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.

Spotify Wrapped has a special talent for pulling up an artist I’ve literally never heard of and telling me I actually listen to them 2,000 times per day.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Just found out I listen to a band called "Who Even Are These Guys" more than I breathe! 🎧🤔😂

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If I’m ever in a coma, please put chapstick on my lips.

0

2 months ago

chapstick, coma, ever, humor, lips, put, request, self-care
In my house the roles are reversed cause my kids tell me to turn my music down.

0

2 months ago

cause, family, house, humor, kids, me, music, parenting, reversed, roles, tell, turn, turn down
I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.

0

2 months ago

dislike, honesty, humor, i, just, personality, shy, social
Replying to all emails with “ya think?”.

0

2 months ago

communication, email, humor, reply, response, sarcasm, think, workplace
I am convinced that at least half of you are bots.

0

2 months ago

am, artificial, artificial intelligence, bot, bots, convinced, half, humor, i, intelligence, least, skepticism, technology
So much anger in this small little body. I feel like a chihuahua.

0

4 months ago

anger, body, chihuahua, feel, frustration, humor, i, little, much, personality, pet, small, small body

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Reddit this month:

Jesus, I need money to organize your birthday.

19 shares on X this month:

A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say “Ooh, mind your head!”

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Another day waiting, and wishing, and wanting.

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.

82 shares on Slack this month:

Welcome to your 40s, you now don’t understand a single word anyone under 25 is saying.

68 shares on Reddit this month:

Your call is very important to us, here’s six days of irritating music.

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

Someone at work had a 25-year anniversary, and it took everything in me not to say she’s been working longer than I’ve been alive.

93 shares on Twitch this month:

Talking to some people is like folding a fitted sheet.

96 shares on Threads this month:

I’m only awake because my coffee needs me.

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

Women’s fall fashion is basically coming up with ways to wear a blanket without it looking like you’re wearing a blanket.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

It’s my birthday, but I’m not gonna post about it for attention like some kind of loser.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

I’m a single issue voter. I’m single and it’s an issue.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

I think my soulmate might be carbs.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Hobbies include being misunderstood.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Why would I go to my high school reunion? I didn’t want to be there the first time.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

I’m really glad that light only attracts insects. Imagine wild boars would come knocking at your windows all the time.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

A good hack to make my house look clean and tidy in the evening is to turn all the lights off.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Scratching the mosquito bite on my foot? Literally orgasmic. This is the kind of stuff that the government doesn’t want you to know.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Great minds think alike. Unfortunately, so do stupid ones.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The most romantic minds of our time are being subjected to situationships.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Have I made bad decisions when I was drunk? Sure. But have the sober ones been any better? Not really.

Trending via Reddit:

Dentists get rich by staring into your mouth for 30 seconds, playing sinking ships with their assistant, and then telling you to brush better.

Making waves on X:

If the zombie apocalypse happens we’re double screwed because there are millions on record as having no brain.

Trending via Instagram:

Unfortunately, I don’t give ugly men a chance, because they wouldn’t give me one if I were the ugly one.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Imagine the carnage at an IKEA team building event.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I love being home and doing absolutely nothing and never contributing to society.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Spotify Wrapped has a special talent for pulling up an artist I’ve literally never heard of and telling me I actually listen to them 2,000 times per day.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If I’m ever in a coma, please put chapstick on my lips.

In my house the roles are reversed cause my kids tell me to turn my music down.

I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.

Replying to all emails with “ya think?”.

I am convinced that at least half of you are bots.

So much anger in this small little body. I feel like a chihuahua.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨