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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

I love Queen and David Bowie, but why did they steal that riff from Vanilla Ice?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Having a crush on someone as an adult feels like a humiliation ritual.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Sunday without HBO feels like a meal without carbs — empty and deeply wrong.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

A pretty girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Thanksgiving should be called Feaster.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

An internship is only unpaid if you don’t steal enough.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Gwyneth Paltrow, I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

When people talk about enriching their lives, I assume they’ve found a way to add more cheese.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Even worse than a spider is a spider that just disappeared.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Is 27 a good age to leave everything you know and love, and start over?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,513

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

What if i just replied “not now kitten daddy’s busy” to all my work emails?

Just landed via Reddit:

I’ve never found a “Remember Me” checkbox that works. Nothing remembers me.

Just landed via Telegram:

By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

People say, “Listen to your heart, do the right thing,” like they are the same things.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I have had songs stuck in my head and I have had people stuck in my head, I highly recommend songs.

Trending via Facebook:

I prefer my weighted blanket in human form.

Just shared via Instagram:

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

Going viral on Twitch:

Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Feeling those rooster vibes more and more each morning! 🐔☀️ #WhyDidIGetOutOfBed"

aging, daily, daily routine, day, funny observation, humor, humor quote, i, just, morning, observation, older, rooster, routine, scream, start, understand, wake up, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

0

2 months ago

always, dating, expectations, humor, intelligent, intelligent man, irony, know, love, man, marry, men, relationship, want, women
Oh, to live in simpler times, when there was nothing to do but sit by the seashore and contemplate the miracle of existence.

0

2 months ago

contemplate, existence, live, mindfulness, miracle, nature, nostalgia, nothing, oh, relaxation, seashore, simpler, simpler time, sit, time, times
I’m not good with plants or people, but I am good with books and buffets.

0

2 months ago

am, books, buffet, food, good, hobby, humor, humor style, i, people, plants, self-deprecating, style
Deodorant? No, I never need to buy any. People just give it to me. Complete strangers sometimes.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward situation, buy, care, complete, deodorant, gift, give, humor, i, just, me, need, never, people, personal, personal care, situation, sometimes, strangers
Euthanizing my Tamagotchi.

0

2 months ago

childhood, digital, digital toy, euthanasia, humor, pet, Tamagotchi, toy, virtual, virtual pet
If all men are the same, why does it take women so long to choose one?

0

2 months ago

choose, date, decision, humor, irony, men, relationships, same, take, women

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Discord this month:

Putting mental health before my education is a good idea until it affects my education, which affects my mental health, which affects my education.

22 shares on Pinterest this month:

The divorce process is easier than breaking up with your hair stylist.

86 shares on TikTok this month:

You can recognize working-class kids by the fact that they hang their jacket over the chair in the restaurant and not on the coat hook.

23 shares on Messenger this month:

I can admit that I am intrigued by people weirder than I am.

24 shares on WeChat this month:

Having long hair as a guy is so scary because some days I look like the charming lead of a classic film from the 80s, and other days I look like a Discord mod that runs his Magic: The Gathering group like the Navy.

60 shares on YouTube this month:

Carrots are a great thing to eat when you’re hungry, and want to stay that way.

48 shares on Messenger this month:

Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

93 shares on Reddit this month:

They should invent a day where I don’t wonder why.

52 shares on X this month:

How is it still this week?

19 shares on Discord this month:

Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Sorry, can’t. The pears I bought a couple days ago have ripened.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m eating for two; me and the person I strive to be.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Don’t ever let a recipe tell you how much cheese you need to add, everyone knows cheese is measured with the heart.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Game night with the family is only fun until I lose.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

I bet my calculator app wrapped would be pretty shameful.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

“Bluetooth or Insane?” is a fun game we all play when we see a lone person speaking out loud in public.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

But what if I don’t want someone that’s good for me?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

20’s: what even is a hangover? 40’s: puts on sunglasses to open fridge…

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Before the internet, going viral meant your drawing made it to the fridge, and your sibling was furious.

Just landed via Telegram:

Don’t give up on your dreams. If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles, you too can be anything you want.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

Shared recently on Discord:

My family asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day, so I packed their bags and changed the locks.

Trending via WeChat:

Last night my guardian angel came to me, covered me up, gave me a kiss on the forehead and whispered in my ear: “You’re a pain in the ass!”

Going viral on Reddit:

Tech enthusiasts: My entire house is smart. Tech workers: The only piece of technology in my house is a printer, and I keep a gun next to it so I can shoot it if it makes a noise I don’t recognize.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’m a good listener. If you’re interesting.

Spotted on Telegram:

Just know that somebody out there is thinking of you, and you should really lock your doors.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Blocking me is like blocking the sun, the moon and the stars.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

If I was on Love Island, I wouldn’t be fighting anyone or starting drama. I would just be playing mermaids in the pool the whole time. They’ve got that giant, beautiful pool, and nobody’s using it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

Oh, to live in simpler times, when there was nothing to do but sit by the seashore and contemplate the miracle of existence.

I’m not good with plants or people, but I am good with books and buffets.

Deodorant? No, I never need to buy any. People just give it to me. Complete strangers sometimes.

Euthanizing my Tamagotchi.

If all men are the same, why does it take women so long to choose one?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨