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Leaving your house and returning back safely is such an underrated blessing.

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Bro, are you a black hole, because you suck energy and light?

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Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

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That awkward moment between birth and death.

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My phone just filmed a 2 hour documentary about life inside my purse.

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I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

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All these laws are really getting in the way of my driving.

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Oh, I shouldnโ€™t worry? Why didnโ€™t I think of that?

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Your woman will take 2 hours to get ready, but if you don’t have your shoes on when she is ready, you’re the problem.

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I noticed you havenโ€™t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

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Things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room, and you only went in there sometimes.

Things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room, and you only went in there sometimes.

Commentary:
Ah, the good old days when computers had boundaries and didn't follow us everywhere โ€“ the only thing intruding on my personal space was my Tamagotchi! ๐Ÿ’ป๐Ÿšช๐Ÿ˜‚



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