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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

“Do something with your life.” Um, I am. Have you heard of a little thing called squandering?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

A general rule of parenting: if you’re having a great day, the day isn’t old enough yet.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

You can reach me by butterfly.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Good morning only to those who duel at dawn, drink at dusk, and haunt their lovers in between.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Love Island is fun, but when is Job Island on?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

341 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,934

Funny Quotes Topics

17,104

Funny Quotes Images

14,934

Updated

Dec 14, 2025

Users Online

4,043

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

Trust my gut? The thing that makes weird gurgling noises immediately when a work meeting goes quiet.

Breaking via X:

Everybody is fighting a battle that you don’t know about, because of the first rule of Fight Club.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I hate apps that shut off your music when you open them, like how fu*king important do you think you are?

Just shared via Threads:

Not my circus, but I’ve grown quite fond of its monkeys.

Just shared via Telegram:

My kids are smart but sometimes they say dumb stuff like, “Mom, why do you always buy Snickers when you’re the only one who likes them?”

Going viral on Instagram:

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

Spotted on Facebook:

If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.

Your coworker is not hot; they’re just within 10 feet of you 40 hours a week.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess being exposed to fluorescent lighting for 40 hours a week really warms up the workplace, huh? 🔥🏢😅

40, attraction, coworker, distance, feet, hot, hours, humor, just, office, proximity, time, week, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I need money, not feelings.

1 month ago

advice, feeling, financial, financial needs, humor, life, life advice, money, need, needs, priorities, sarcasm
It can be so healing to stay up until 3am. Unfortunately, it will also completely ruin your life.

1 month ago

3am, balance, comedy, deprivation, healing, health, hours, humor, insomnia, late, late hours, late night, life, life balance, night, ruin, self-care, sleep, sleep deprivation, stay, unfortunately
Relationship status: my sex robot filed a restraining order.

1 month ago

comedy, dating, humor, order, relationship, restraining, restraining order, robot, sex, sex robot, status, technology
I’m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

1 month ago

anxiety, anxious, caffeine, coffee, edge, feeling, humor, i, morning, morning routine, mug, relief, routine, stress, stress relief, take, think
I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

1 month ago

humor, i, joke, just, leg, masseuse, playfulness, puns, sarcasm
Everyone is celebrating my vegan Bolognese sauce. The secret ingredient is minced meat.

1 month ago

Bolognese, celebration, cooking, everyone, humor, ingredient, irony, meat, minced, minced meat, sauce, secret, secret ingredient, vegan

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

A couple of years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

The biggest lesson employment has taught me is that efficient workers get punished with more work.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

My toxic trait is treating my glasses like they’re not the most expensive thing I wear everyday.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

My boyfriend always complains that I never smile, but he’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Just remember, you don’t need a special reason to buy a cake.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Reddit:

Telling everyone I’m an undecided voter because I need the attention.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If the Beatles were just 4 lads from Liverpool, imagine what 400 lads from Liverpool would sound like. But y’all aren’t ready for that conversation.

Just landed via Messenger:

I be like, “I needed this,” and it’s just me getting drunk.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Even at my most evil, I’m considerate.

Just landed via Telegram:

My skin is so dry it’s doing a PowerPoint presentation.

Shared recently on X:

I bought a bag of M&M’s and they don’t have M’s anymore. They all have W’s, for woke.

Trending via Slack:

The funniest thing about Batman is that he legitimately doesn’t give a shit about crime that happens during the day.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Your coworker is not hot; they’re just within 10 feet of you 40 hours a week.

I need money, not feelings.

It can be so healing to stay up until 3am. Unfortunately, it will also completely ruin your life.

Relationship status: my sex robot filed a restraining order.

I’m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

Everyone is celebrating my vegan Bolognese sauce. The secret ingredient is minced meat.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Sounds like you are suffering from a lack of vitamin Me.

Apparently, all my new nephew wants to do is eat and sleep, which means he’s already a lot like me.

“You’re like cherry lip gloss. I just can’t get enough.”

We’re living in increasingly unfergalicious times.

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

A song that hits so hard it makes you want a cigarette.

How is this the same brain that used to remember everybody’s phone numbers?

Salary week, but salary weak.

Falling off academically is worse than a heartbreak.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

Nobody cleans better than someone who’s pissed off.

Nobody has ever been given a cheeseburger and been upset about it.

Asking my dentist a question, but sticking my fingers in his mouth before he replies.

Some days you’re the quick brown fox and other days you’re the lazy dog.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I miss being the age where the most devastating thing in the world was when my sandwiches got cut into squares instead of triangles.

I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

That period between finding out you got a new job and actually starting the new job is one of the best times in life.

Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

Why do they call it a garage sale instead of a garbage sale?

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Your coworker is not hot; they’re just within 10 feet of you 40 hours a week.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I need money, not feelings.

It can be so healing to stay up until 3am. Unfortunately, it will also completely ruin your life.

Relationship status: my sex robot filed a restraining order.

I’m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

Everyone is celebrating my vegan Bolognese sauce. The secret ingredient is minced meat.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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