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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

The worst is when it’s too late to take a nap but too early to go to bed.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Female friendship is all about taking turns being insane. First, one of you is crazy, and the other has to counterbalance by being normal. Then, thirty minutes later, you get to trade.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

We all have that person who insists on using a blanket on the couch, no matter the weather.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

I love asking 5 different people for advice then doing what I want.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

I’m tired of adding ‘LOL’ to the end of my texts for sensitive people.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

If you need time alone, just announce that you need help cleaning the cats litter box.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

My hobby is misidentifying dinosaurs so my daughter can correct me.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you’re an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Eating the sticker on an apple counts as 35% of your daily fiber intake.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1743 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,905

Funny Quotes Topics

14,722

Funny Quotes Images

11,905

5 minutes ago

3,454

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on WhatsApp:

They’re making me do work at work.

Just landed via Slack:

Men make it so easy to hate them.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Who called it a heatwave and not a temperature tantrum?

Trending via WeChat:

I’m going crazy, y’all. Coming with me?

Seen just now on TikTok:

Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

Reported on WeChat:

I was really happy about it being Friday until I realized it was only Wednesday.

Seen just now on Telegram:

My optimism doesn’t come out of thin air. A flask is involved.

Just shared via WeChat:

Life always has it’s ups and downs. I like to up the music, down the drinks, and then relax and enjoy.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

Just landed via TikTok:

Every girl’s personal hell is being too excited about their birthday and it ends up being the worst day ever.

Captain America taught me that I just need to take performance enhancing drugs to be loved by everyone.

6 months ago

Captain America taught me that I just need to take performance enhancing drugs to be loved by everyone.

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Commentary:
Well, that's certainly one way to sum up Captain America's influence 🦸‍♂️💊… Or you could just stick with being kind, courageous, and fight against evil the old-fashioned way! 😉 Remember kids, say no to drugs and yes to heroism!

America, captain, Captain America, culture, drug, drugs, enhancing, everyone, humor, i, irony, just, love, me, need, performance, performance enhancing drug, pop, pop culture, self-improvement, superhero, take

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1743 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,905

Funny Quotes Topics

14,722

Funny Quotes Images

11,905

5 minutes ago

3,451

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Before Facebook, we would hold people hostage inside our homes by showing them photo albums of our vacation.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Going ballistic. Anyone need anything?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

That pile of clothes on my bed, seems to have strange powers and gets higher on its own.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

50 is the new 30. Because it takes 50 bucks to buy what 30 used to.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

This year for Thanksgiving, I’ll probably bring what I brought last year… shame upon the family.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Damn, didn’t win the lottery. It’s messing up my budget plan.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Wow, pretty rude for people to exist who are younger and hotter than me, but OK.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

I had 99 problems but getting divorced solved 98 of them.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

Shared recently on Slack:

I don’t understand, but I also don’t care, so it works out.

Shared recently on Slack:

I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

Just landed via Snapchat:

January feels like a schizophrenic episode.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Women love it when you approach them on the street and say “whoa, is there a hot babe convention in town?”

Breaking via Twitch:

I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

Going viral on Threads:

I dreamt this night that I had died and when I woke up, a piece of me was actually already stiff.

Just shared via WeChat:

It’s weird when you realize we are the last generation on this Earth to know what lite was like before social media.

Just landed via Discord:

Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

Trending via Telegram:

In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

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