I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

Commentary:
Sounds like you've got the chef aesthetic nailed downβ€”at least your outfit didn't end up as rare as your steak! πŸ·πŸ‘¨β€πŸ³πŸ”₯