Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

I’m sorry, being on social media gave you the impression I’m a social person.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

I often got called “an old soul” and such like by adults when I was a child. I think this was a kind way of saying I was a sad little freak.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Don’t tell me to trust my gut. Thats where I put my snacks. Clearly that’s where I’m the weakest.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

One of the weirdest things about being an adult is having a favorite stove top burner. No one ever talks about it, but y’all know it’s true.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

I’ve realized there’s more to life than social media, so I guess this is goodbye for the next 12 minutes.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Living in your parent’s house is free because you pay with your soul.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

If someone texts “Do you have a minute,” it’s a trick. Don’t fall for it.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

I learned Morse code, and then I couldn’t sleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Just found out my asexual friend was only using me for my companionship.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,378

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

Ratatouille is hilarious because the villain wasn’t even evil; he just didn’t want food cooked by rats?!?

Spotted on Discord:

I remember when I was broke… I’m still broke, that’s why I remember so well.

Making waves on YouTube:

Have come to the devastating realization that I am an over-nodder on video calls.

Just landed via WeChat:

Technology has gone too far, man. My roommate is logged out of his lightbulbs because he forgot his password.

Just shared via Discord:

If I like cleaning? Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Trending via Telegram:

A drone, but for seeing which fast food drive-thrus have the shortest line.

Live now on WeChat:

I kind of can’t wait for my generation to be bumping 90’s hip hop, rap, and heavy metal at the old folks’ homes.

Just landed via Threads:

Due to personal reasons, I will be screaming into a pillow.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’m liking your IG photo from 8 days ago because IG just showed me today!

Spotted on Snapchat:

Losing a white tee to a stain is a different kind of grief.

I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Interrupt my cruise again and I'll toss you overboard! 🚢😴☠️"

boat, comedy, dead, dead to me, guest, guest star, humor, i, irritation, love, me, relationships, sarcasm, show, star, The Love Boat, TV, TV Show, wake, wake up, woke

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I embarrass myself in front of myself.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, embarrassment, funny moment, humor, i, joke, moment, personal, self, self-deprecation
How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

0

2 months ago

before, exercise, fitness, humor, i, joke, motivation, say, sit-up, six-pack, thinking, wishful, wishful thinking
Sometimes you just need a Saturday to sleep all day and do absolutely nothing.

0

3 months ago

absolutely, break, day, doing, doing nothing, just, laziness, nap, need, nothing, recharge, relaxation, rest, Saturday, sleep, sometimes, weekend
Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

0

2 months ago

awkward, comedy, couple, even, fail, humor, joke, jokes, meeting, online, told, virtual, Zoom
If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.

0

2 months ago

50, calculation, every, fail, failed, humor, i, ID, joke, math, money, school, test
When your electric toothbrush dies, it becomes a regular toothbrush. Don’t freak out. Just calm down and remember your training.

0

2 months ago

calm, calm down, care, dental, dental care, electric, electric toothbrush, freak, humor, just, regular, remember, toothbrush, training

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Instagram this month:

Venmo is my favorite social media site. I love to see my boy John charge his wife for Martinis.

88 shares on WeChat this month:

Waffles are just pancakes with abs.

82 shares on WeChat this month:

According to the smoke alarm, the food is ready.

33 shares on Snapchat this month:

Ironically people who are good at giving advice find it difficult to follow their own.

23 shares on Discord this month:

Oh, Amazon, no. Please do not tell me how many packages I had delivered this year; that is none of my business.

100 shares on TikTok this month:

Thinking of becoming the “where’s my hug” guy in prison.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

Addicted to eating one gigantic meal a day like a reptile.

95 shares on YouTube this month:

Blaming the full moon for whatever unhinged decision I make tonight.

24 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I miss when my biggest problem was whether my Happy Meal toy matched the one from the commercial.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Being an adult is spending every day looking at a pill bottle, wondering, “Did I take this already?”

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Who you are when someone reaches over to take food from your plate… is the real you.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Play your cards right and we could be wearing matching fanny packs this summer.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

I’m still repaying karmic debt from that time I was 12 and gave the middle finger to a cow at the state fair.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Not having to bring my backpack to the last day of elementary school was the last time I truly felt free.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Apparently it’s inappropriate to yell out “Shots, shots, shots, shots” while your child’s getting immunizations at the pediatrician’s office.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Don’t rush me, I’m still deciding whether I’ll be productive or not today!

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Coworker: Hey, circling back on that thing we talked about in December. Me: Stop living in the past!

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

I really appreciate where you’re coming from. I just wish you’d go back.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

Hardest part of beekeeping is thinking of all the names.

Just landed via Telegram:

The introverted urge to spend a week alone at home after many holidays and family gatherings.

Freshly posted on Slack:

The little umbrella is so unnecessary. Like, my drink is already wet, bro.

Going viral on Snapchat:

For whom the doom scrolls!

Going viral on Twitch:

It’s like 10,000 steps when all you need is a nap.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Software engineers are the dumbest smart people I’ve ever met.

Breaking via Twitch:

Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

Broadcasted on YouTube:

My dad must pay my monthly cell phone bill as atonement for his original sin of creating my consciousness.

Just shared via Threads:

Nighty night! Don’t let the horror of existence bite.

Trending via WeChat:

Being famous on social media is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s not real, so calm down.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I embarrass myself in front of myself.

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

Sometimes you just need a Saturday to sleep all day and do absolutely nothing.

Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.

When your electric toothbrush dies, it becomes a regular toothbrush. Don’t freak out. Just calm down and remember your training.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨