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My son just turned an everything bagel into an everywhere bagel.

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Showering & getting in bed is literally one of the best combos ever.

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Sweet, but twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?

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I’m doing a challenge called ‘November’ — it’s where I just try to get through every day in the month of November.

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Whoever named rice cakes is probably also responsible for Paris, Texas.

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Cartoons make it look like getting stabbed in the butt with a pitchfork would be no big deal, but I beg to differ.

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I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.