Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.

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A toddler in their “why” phase makes you realize how little you know.

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Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

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We got our carpet cleaned today, so I’m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

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Sleep with each other, or someone else will!

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My kids and I have this bit where I say something and they ignore me.

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I’m implementing a new policy in my house: any child who is awake past bedtime can either go to sleep or clean the house, no exceptions.

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Everyday is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

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The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

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Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

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Elliott didn’t care about E.T. He just wanted a flying bike.