Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Whoever came up with a 30 minute lunch break needs a 30 minute beating.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Is Craigslist still around, or did everyone over there get murdered?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Not gonna lie, I just assume everyone is AI now.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Are you the one with commitment issues or the one with low self-worth?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Been acting really busy today because I can tell my coworker wants to talk about something in his personal life.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Trying to watch a superhero movie without stressing about the infrastructure damage to the city.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

When I say “I hate drama”, I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan!

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Never underestimate my ability to fall asleep in a moving vehicle.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Caught the bouquet at the funeral.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

It feels like a million o’clock right now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,275

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

“I’m disgusted by how many of you still use Spotify. I use a fair trade, ethically conscientious mom-and-pop platform called Apple Music.”

Live now on Threads:

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Give it to me straight, doc, what can I do to be healthier besides changing my entire lifestyle?

Trending via Snapchat:

I need money, not feelings.

Spotted on Messenger:

At this point, I’m sure I’ll meet an alien or zombies before I meet the love of my life!

Live now on WeChat:

Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as “interesting.”

Making waves on Slack:

Why do birds love going apeshit first thing in the morning?

Just landed via Messenger:

I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

Going bananas on YouTube:

One of my greatest strengths is appearing busy so people don’t try to speak to me.

Trending via Discord:

The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.

They say half the battle of getting in shape is mental, so I thought about the gym really hard today.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Thinking about the gym so hard, I almost broke a mental sweat! 🧠💪😂

battle, exercise, fitness, getting, getting in shape, gym, half, hard, humor, i, mental, mental battle, motivation, procrastination, say, shape, thought, today, workout

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

0

2 months ago

eating, flirt, house, humor, me, relationship, show, snacks, start, unexpected, unexpected visit, visit
My wallet is empty, just like my soul.

0

2 months ago

crisis, empty, existential, existential crisis, financial, financial struggle, humor, irony, joke, just, money, soul, struggle, wallet
Shazam, but for whatever the hell goes on in the apartment upstairs.

0

2 months ago

apartment, hell, Shazam, upstairs, whatever
You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

0

2 months ago

being, careful, chores, communication, free, free time, humor, know, media, next, relationship, responsibility, send, social, social media, spouse, thing, things, time, too
Someone yelled “hey, retard!” and I looked back.

0

2 months ago

attention, back, humor, i, interaction, reaction, retard, social, social interaction, someone, surprise, yell
God’s plan for me does not involve LinkedIn at all.

0

3 months ago

career, destiny, faith, God, gods, humor, job, job search, LinkedIn, me, media, plan, search, social, social media

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Threads this month:

Netflix & by yourself.

91 shares on Reddit this month:

“You shouldn’t let your cat jump on the counter”, my cat could take out a loan in my name if he wanted to.

44 shares on Telegram this month:

“You handled that with such grace” are words that have never been spoken to me.

68 shares on Discord this month:

Donating blood today to make room for more food.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

71 shares on Discord this month:

I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

15 shares on Pinterest this month:

Some stupid little amoeba decided to leave the ocean a billion years ago and now I have to worry about Monday.

79 shares on Messenger this month:

Is it socially acceptable to wear pajamas all day if you’re constantly holding a coffee cup?

65 shares on Telegram this month:

No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

24 shares on YouTube this month:

Blocking isn’t enough, I hope your pillow never has a cold side.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Hi, I’m making some changes in my life. If you don’t hear from me, you are one of them.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

I’m sorry I said “I look forward to working with you” during our wedding vows.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Don’t believe in yourself, you can’t do it.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Twitter is fun. You kinda just talk to yourself and sometimes someone replies.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

When I’m feeling old, I like to visit my parents so they can push all my buttons until I lose my shit and just like that, I’m 16 again.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

The sexual orientation where you’re attracted to both and men and women but they’re not attracted to you is called Bi-yourself.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

DMs full of guys who wouldn’t know what to do with me.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

I get it cicadas, I’m ready to scream for six weeks too.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

“Life is a marathon, not a sprint.” Cool, I dislike both of those things.

Just landed via Slack:

Honestly, I don’t think I have any more new passwords left in me. You wanna steal my identity? Go ahead, I hope you enjoy debt and terrible posture.

Just landed via Pinterest:

At my next therapy session, I will be discussing the trauma I’ve been dealing with ever since the grocery store layout was altered.

Seen just now on Telegram:

The gap in my resume is because I was trying to reach enlightenment for 5 years.

Just shared via Pinterest:

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

Live now on Pinterest:

That moment of panic when they invite you inside at the start of the birthday party you thought was a drop off.

Trending via Instagram:

If I was an elephant, you’d all be sorry.

Trending via Slack:

Before marriage, I would sit at a stoplight for hours because I had no one to tell me the light had changed to green.

Going viral on Facebook:

Taking a sip of beer and letting out a big “ahhhh” so the pregnant lady at the pool next to me knows what she’s missing.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

They say half the battle of getting in shape is mental, so I thought about the gym really hard today.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

My wallet is empty, just like my soul.

Shazam, but for whatever the hell goes on in the apartment upstairs.

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

Someone yelled “hey, retard!” and I looked back.

God’s plan for me does not involve LinkedIn at all.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨