Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

In general, I like company, but not when I am with my pizza.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Everybody in the world, stop fighting or no dessert.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Men be like, “That’s my dream girl,” then ruin her perspective of love forever.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

I hope this email blows your head smoove off.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

People who get 0-5 likes at max and still tweet all the time… What’s your secret?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Today’s kids don’t even get chicken pox anymore, they go straight to STDs.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Men playing hard to get when they’re already hard to want, is so funny to me.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

For this Halloween I’ve trained my eyebrows to leap off my face and destroy those who’ve angered me.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

I thought being an adult meant cake for breakfast, not budgeting for therapy.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,638

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Lowkey wanna fall in love, but Monday to Friday is work, Saturday is laundry, Sunday is mental prep for Monday. The butterflies in my stomach are actually decomposing.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.

Just landed via X:

Mindfulness is out. We’re doing drugs again.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Relationship status: you’d think something called a Roomba would be a better dancer.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Sorry I’m late — I was standing in the shower, thinking about stuff.

Going viral on Discord:

Please stop adding touchscreens to cars. Most of these idiots can barely drive as it is.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always known I wanted to be a woman with a lot of money when I grew up.

Trending via Slack:

The only hot singles in my area are in my wallet.

Going bananas on Discord:

I only squeak when I’m squoken to.

Freshly posted on Discord:

If a beer is 8 bucks, it’s a show. If a beer is 14 bucks, it’s a concert.

They say half the battle of getting in shape is mental, so I thought about the gym really hard today.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Thinking about the gym so hard, I almost broke a mental sweat! 🧠💪😂

battle, exercise, fitness, getting, getting in shape, gym, half, hard, humor, i, mental, mental battle, motivation, procrastination, say, shape, thought, today, workout

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

0

2 months ago

argue, argument, confidence, conversation, explain, humor, i, just, right, sarcasm
Sometimes I look deep into my colleagues’ eyes to check if you really can’t see the back of their skulls.

0

2 months ago

back, check, colleague, colleagues, deep, deep look, eyes, funny observation, humor, i, observation, skull, sometimes, visual, visual check, workplace, workplace humor
I don’t know much about women, but they love containers that hold smaller containers.

0

5 months ago

container, containers, gift, hold, humor, i, joke, know, love, much, relationship, smaller, women
For my next trick, I’ll need a divorce lawyer.

0

2 months ago

divorce, divorce lawyer, humor, joke, lawyer, marriage, need, next, relationship, trick
I may be ugly, but I used to be uglier.

0

2 months ago

appearance, confidence, growth, humor, i, personal, personal growth, self-deprecation, ugly, used
Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

0

2 months ago

better, buy, came, castle, differences, everyone, humor, imagine, me, much, set, together, unity, world

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on Twitch this month:

I wonder if the scariest moment ever in history has happened yet.

52 shares on Threads this month:

That one friend who has a dangerously loose grasp on food safety.

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

Refusing to attend my brother’s gambling intervention until they agree to call it a slot shaming.

25 shares on Twitch this month:

Sorry, my face wasn’t created to hide that much distain for what you’re saying.

92 shares on Telegram this month:

I read that Miley Cyrus will be starring in a remake of Silence of the Lambs. She’ll be playing Hannibal Montannibal.

54 shares on Instagram this month:

One thing I love about the internet is seeing some of the most hateful people posting inspirational quotes.

74 shares on Reddit this month:

“I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.

45 shares on WeChat this month:

God knew I’d be too powerful if He made me not annoying to women.

21 shares on Messenger this month:

Do you mind if I smash this object of great sentimental value?

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I sexually identify as a microwave dinner, because I am ready in 5 minutes, look nothing like my photos, and I’m just satisfying enough for you to want me again when you’re desperate.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

My son just turned an everything bagel into an everywhere bagel.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

“I’m doing better than my parents at my age. They had, like, no followers.”

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Sleep well, middle finger—you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Oh really? We’ll see what the same six people who always agree with me think about that.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

And to my children I leave my collection of tote bags and gift bags.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Everyone is using AI to write business emails, texts, etc. At this point in time, we may as well just tell our AIs to talk to each other and then let us know what kind of deal they worked out.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Most of being a woman is just removing exclamation points from emails before you send them.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

There are real people living amongst us who pay for Discord Nitro.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Which one are you, the liar or the loser?

Freshly posted on Threads:

The lion is actually pretty concerned right now.

Making waves on Instagram:

December, give me a sweet ending for this year please.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Handyman to customer: If I had wanted you to watch me work, I would have become an actor.

Spotted on Threads:

This December is not Decembering like the other Decembers Decembered.

Broadcasted on Threads:

My favorite color is money.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I like when the superheroes that can fly pick up and carry the ones that can’t.

Spotted on Threads:

If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

Trending via WeChat:

I’ve reached the conclusion that all men love thigh high stockings.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

They say half the battle of getting in shape is mental, so I thought about the gym really hard today.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

Sometimes I look deep into my colleagues’ eyes to check if you really can’t see the back of their skulls.

I don’t know much about women, but they love containers that hold smaller containers.

For my next trick, I’ll need a divorce lawyer.

I may be ugly, but I used to be uglier.

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨