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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

At my age I don’t sleep, I nap between pee breaks.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Hansel and Gretel weren’t wrong, every bad decision I’ve ever made started with being hungry.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Salsa counts as a serving of vegetables, right?

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

I wish I could get a bouquet of mozzarella sticks.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

How is every author the #1 New York Times bestseller?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,821

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WeChat:

Shaved my bush and went down a pants size.

Going bananas on Twitch:

You seem really unhinged, we should grab coffee sometime.

Just landed via Messenger:

Do not EVER text while driving. Please use the giant iPad attached to your dashboard.

Seen just now on Twitch:

They should invent a day where I feel normal.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Hot wings have killed many people starting with a dude named Icarus.

Seen just now on Discord:

Imagine being social on social media.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I spend all day on Facebook so that Mark Zuckerberg can eat.

Bluesky honestly feels like a miracle where you take the most annoying people in the world and stick them in a broken elevator together.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
"Sounds like a social experiment ready for a sitcom! 😂🚪🔧"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Yesterday I wore something from 5 years ago and it actually fit. So proud of myself. It was a scarf, but still, let’s be positive here.

1 month ago
fashion, fit, humor, nostalgia, positive, proud, scarf, self-esteem, yesterday
They’re making me do work at work.

1 month ago
humor, job, making, me, responsibility, work
Having to confirm your past purchases over the phone with your bank’s fraud department is a truly harrowing moment of self-examination for chronic little treat buyers.

2 weeks ago
anxiety, bank, buyer, call, confirm, department, fraud, having, humor, little, moment, over, past, phone, phone call, purchase, self-examination, treat, truly
I found out why my computer keeps freezing. Apparently, I’ve got too many windows open.

1 month ago
computer, found, freezing, humor, i, joke, open, technology, troubleshooting, window
I used to question authority, but now I question everything.

3 weeks ago
authority, doubt, everything, humor, i, question, skepticism, used
Imagine working at Pornhub. At like the corporate office as a developer or whatever. White collar. That’s gotta be a weird job. Working there has gotta be bloody weird.

3 months ago
adult, adult industry, collar, corporate, corporate office, developer, humor, imagine, industry, job, office, office job, Pornhub, weird, weird job, whatever, white, white collar, working, workplace, workplace humor

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Instagram is run by celebrities. Twitter is run by the streets.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

If you take a social media sabbatical, don’t announce it. Just make your last post something fun like “I wonder if there’s a bear in this cave?”

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

The universe clearly isn’t working as it should so someone should turn it off and back on again.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Thought I would mix things up today and sit in a new spot on my couch. Absolute chaos over here.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

I am absolutely unstoppable, unless it’s a bit rainy.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

Whatever the plot is in Barbie’s movie, my dolls have been through worse.

Making waves on TikTok:

If you ever feel stupid, just remember there are people who forgive cheating.

Just landed via Facebook:

According to a new study, people who often trail off in the middle of a sentence are 30% more likely to

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Thank God I have a cat. Who else is gonna shit in this box I have?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

Making waves on WeChat:

Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Introverts don’t recharge with sleep, we recharge by being left completely alone for 3–5 business days.

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Activity Log ✨

Bluesky honestly feels like a miracle where you take the most annoying people in the world and stick them in a broken elevator together.

Yesterday I wore something from 5 years ago and it actually fit. So proud of myself. It was a scarf, but still, let’s be positive here.

They’re making me do work at work.

Having to confirm your past purchases over the phone with your bank’s fraud department is a truly harrowing moment of self-examination for chronic little treat buyers.

I found out why my computer keeps freezing. Apparently, I’ve got too many windows open.

I used to question authority, but now I question everything.

Imagine working at Pornhub. At like the corporate office as a developer or whatever. White collar. That’s gotta be a weird job. Working there has gotta be bloody weird.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Just a little reminder to laugh as much as you can, stay hydrated, and don’t let shitty people kill your vibe.

Be the reason someone burns sage.

When your electric toothbrush dies, it becomes a regular toothbrush. Don’t freak out. Just calm down and remember your training.

Due to inflation and tariffs, my love now costs a thing.

You want to go out in the sun and then you can’t get the couch through the door.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Whenever someone says “Per ChatGPT” or “ChatGPT says,” I look at them like they just consulted a magic 8 ball because, please, stop playing with me.

It sucks that the reward for being responsible, is just a bunch of new responsibilities.

If I go quiet, it’s because I am plotting my escape or your demise.

“You’re not allowed to be grumpy on a Friday, it’s in the fine print somewhere.”

Don’t forget to be mean to strangers on the internet today, for no reason whatsoever.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

There should be a Mad Max movie that reveals the world outside Australia has actually remained pretty normal.

I really love how squirrels get extra chubby heading into winter mostly because it’s super relatable.

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

If you’re feeling a little uneasy about the state of global geopolitics, remember to spend as much time on your phone as possible. The more information you ingest as you scroll, the calmer you will become.

Why is the Formula 1 so afraid of rain? Just drive with more caution. That’s what I always do when it rains.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.

Gonna tell my dentist that if I’m late, he should start without me.

The only thing limiting what you can put in a sandwich is your imagination and the laws of physics.

Millionaires and multi-billion dollar companies be like, “We’re doing our part by asking the poor to donate to the poor.”

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Bluesky honestly feels like a miracle where you take the most annoying people in the world and stick them in a broken elevator together.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Yesterday I wore something from 5 years ago and it actually fit. So proud of myself. It was a scarf, but still, let’s be positive here.

They’re making me do work at work.

Having to confirm your past purchases over the phone with your bank’s fraud department is a truly harrowing moment of self-examination for chronic little treat buyers.

I found out why my computer keeps freezing. Apparently, I’ve got too many windows open.

I used to question authority, but now I question everything.

Imagine working at Pornhub. At like the corporate office as a developer or whatever. White collar. That’s gotta be a weird job. Working there has gotta be bloody weird.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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