Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Hello, hi. Don’t invite me anywhere until next year. The money is finished. Regards.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Did it hurt when you forgot your headphones and couldn’t romanticize your walk home?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Adult friendships are like, “hey girl, let’s keep rescheduling to hangout until one of us dies.”

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

My girlfriend just had a go at me for not glistening, whatever that is.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Who needs dystopian fiction when you can watch the news?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

I hope this 17th text in a row with no response finds you well.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

They should invent a day where I feel normal.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

The pumpkin was invented in 1942 when a watermelon put on a pair of corduroys.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Everyone wants a drunk text until I’m doing it at noon.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Spices were first brought to Western Europe in the Middle Ages. Some of them are still at the back of my cupboard.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,248

Social Media Log 💫

Bluesky honestly feels like a miracle where you take the most annoying people in the world and stick them in a broken elevator together.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sounds like a social experiment ready for a sitcom! 😂🚪🔧"

annoyance, annoying, annoying person, awkwardness, bluesky, broken, broken elevator, discomfort, elevator, feels, funny situation, humor, miracle, most, people, person, situation, social, social awkwardness, stick, take, together, where, world

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“Oh, I’d love to but I can’t.” Translation: I don’t want to so I won’t.

0

2 months ago

can’t, honesty, humor, i, ID, love, oh, reluctance, translation, want, won’t
My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.

0

2 months ago

apologize, beauty, family, humor, joke, making, me, parents, self-deprecation, still, ugly
What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is that don’t do that.

0

2 months ago

activity, advice, climbing, fun, fun activity, humor, lot, misunderstanding, mountain, mountain climbing, people, understand
Please do not test me. I’ve been saving up my rage like PTO.

0

2 months ago

frustration, humor, me, patience, please, PTO, rage, saving, test, warning
Everyone has these three colleagues: The one who is always cold. The one who is always hungry. The one who is always tired. I am everything in one.

0

2 months ago

always, am, cold, colleague, colleagues, everyone, everything, humor, hungry, i, personality, relatable, self-deprecation, tired, workplace
It’s difficult to play hard to get when I’m already hard to want.

0

2 months ago

dating, hard, hard to get, hard to want, humor, play, relationship, self-deprecation, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on WeChat this month:

Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

37 shares on TikTok this month:

Dear phone, if you didn’t light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn’t have died so quickly!

46 shares on Telegram this month:

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

35 shares on Reddit this month:

At the gym, everyone thinks exclusively about how little weight I can lift and how quickly I’m out of breath, because the world revolves around me.

12 shares on Snapchat this month:

My life changed when I learned some house spiders can’t survive outside, so now I just catch them and release them in a friend’s home.

91 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s strange that watching paint dry is considered boring but going to an art gallery is considered interesting. That’s just watching paint that’s already dry.

36 shares on Reddit this month:

Everytime I spend $20 I think this is fine because I won’t do it again. And then would you believe.

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When my wife packs for a trip she basically moves out.

55 shares on Twitch this month:

I just went to Crazy Town, and they said you’re a local legend.

21 shares on Twitch this month:

That’s me in the corner eating Nutella with a spoon.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Switching between brainrot and deep intellectual talks is a skill that only a few acquire.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Printers and computers treat each other like they broke up the night before, and you’re their mutual friend.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

You may think no one is there for you, but there’s laundry. Laundry is always there for you.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Wait, making the right choices is an option?!

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I miss when we didn’t know what celebrities thought about anything.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

I need a vaccine against overthinking.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, you’re drunk. Ducks don’t talk.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

It goes like this: You are born and then you basically do almost everything wrong. Then you die.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Girls be like, “I hate this man,” then have sex with him.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Forget about “long story short”… I’m gonna start saying “short story long,” and take you on a journey you didn’t ask for.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

Life is short, flirt with me!

Going bananas on Threads:

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

Breaking via WeChat:

I drive regularly so that my brain doesn’t forget swear words.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Right before rock bottom, you’ll have a city builder game on your phone.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Whoever’s been in charge of the weather for the last few weeks seems to have fallen asleep on the couch with the remote control in their hand.

Spotted on Threads:

I want to be cremated so that I will get a smoking-hot body again.

Going viral on Reddit:

If you wear enough cardigans, people will assume you’re smart and you can stop reading entirely.

Spotted on X:

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

Just shared via YouTube:

To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I only obey the traffic rules to get on other peoples’ nerves.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Bluesky honestly feels like a miracle where you take the most annoying people in the world and stick them in a broken elevator together.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

“Oh, I’d love to but I can’t.” Translation: I don’t want to so I won’t.

My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is that don’t do that.

Please do not test me. I’ve been saving up my rage like PTO.

Everyone has these three colleagues: The one who is always cold. The one who is always hungry. The one who is always tired. I am everything in one.

It’s difficult to play hard to get when I’m already hard to want.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨