Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the melodious sound of the alarm clock – the daily symphony of regret and wishful thinking! 🕰️💸 Trading cubicles for castles sounds like a dream worth hitting the snooze button for! 😂 #InheritanceGoals"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Did anyone else use grocery bags as textbook covers, or was I just that poor?

4 weeks ago

anyone, bag, bags, cover, else, grocery, grocery bag, humor, i, just, nostalgia, poor, poverty, school, textbook, textbook cover
Unfortunately, I wasn’t built for casual dating, I’m only built for intense soul crushing love at first sight.

1 month ago

built, casual, crush, dating, humor, i, intensity, love, only, romance, sight, soul, unfortunately
Prime numbers are so cunty. Like okay, diva — only divisible by yourself?

4 weeks ago

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I think my dad just eradicated a small village with his sneeze.

1 month ago

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Going to a concert with a tomato in each hand just to make the band nervous.

1 month ago

activity, band, concert, creativity, fun, fun activity, going, hand, humor, just, nervous, quirky, tomato
You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

1 month ago

alcohol, drinking, fun, humor, need

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The only exercise I done last month was running out of money.

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you turn your phone off for 1 day, you’ll realize it’s still 2007 outside.

44 shares on WeChat this month:

Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

87 shares on Reddit this month:

“Do it scared!” Thanks, but I have done everything scared. When is it my turn to do it calm?

10 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

12 shares on Snapchat this month:

If I could go back in time, I’d probably stop Bruce Willis from saving us from that asteroid.

71 shares on WeChat this month:

I miss you when I wake up before you.

29 shares on WeChat this month:

My children are very helpful. For example, when I ask them to do something, they suggest a different child that could do it instead.

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t know what kind of sex makes y’all want a joint bank account, but I ain’t had it yet.

27 shares on Instagram this month:

“It could be drugs,” I tell myself as I buy more books.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

There should be a true crime story about feeding someone a peanut butter sandwich and giving them nothing to drink.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

I unload the dishwasher backwards… just to feel something.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

My reality check bounced, guess I’ll have to stay insane for the time being.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Netflix had enough cash to buy Warner Bros., but cried poor when we shared passwords with our mom.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Remember, when a package says “sharing size”, that’s just a guideline. They have no enforcement mechanism.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

The day I start waking up early it’s over for you all.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

The feminine urge to turn you on and not do anything about it.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

If you like Christmas so much, why don’t you merry it?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren’t happy.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I miss when we didn’t know what celebrities thought about anything.

Just shared via Telegram:

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Hello, hi. Don’t invite me anywhere until next year. The money is finished. Regards.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Retiring my wallet condom after two years of active duty. 87 tours with 0 combat deployments.

Shared recently on YouTube:

When God created the giraffe, he probably slipped with the mouse on the screen. This is how its neck was created.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

My toxic trait is treating my glasses like they’re not the most expensive thing I wear everyday.

Breaking via Discord:

Returned my 3D printer, but not before making a 3D printer with it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Did anyone else use grocery bags as textbook covers, or was I just that poor?

Unfortunately, I wasn’t built for casual dating, I’m only built for intense soul crushing love at first sight.

Prime numbers are so cunty. Like okay, diva — only divisible by yourself?

I think my dad just eradicated a small village with his sneeze.

Going to a concert with a tomato in each hand just to make the band nervous.

You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨