Every time a bird poops on my car, I eat a plate of wings on the front porch to show them what Iβm capable of. Posted onMar 31, 2026 by slickboy in Funny Quotes 💾 Save Image Commentary:Guess my driveway is officially a "no-fly zone" now! ππ¦π« Related funny posts π€ I’m not ready to adopt a highway, I can barely raise my own driveway. Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me. Homeless man just called me a βloser,β and I showed him my house keys. Love is like a bird. Sometimes flying around me but then moving on. Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach your kid about stingrays, and he will pretend to sting you all afternoon.