Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"I mean, who needs a job when you can ride a pony on a funky space rainbow, am I right? 🦄🌈 Don't worry, unicorns and rainbows are way cooler than a boring old cover letter! 💌✨ #DreamJobGoals"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Who needs dystopian fiction when you can watch the news?

1 week ago

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I am absolutely unstoppable, unless it’s a bit rainy.

1 week ago

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Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.

1 week ago

culture, distraction, effort, head, humor, impossible, memory, mental, mental effort, mission, Mission Impossible, music, password, pop, pop culture, remember, song, theme, theme song, trying
I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.

1 week ago

cool, even, frustration, humor, i, ID, joke, know, landlubber, life, lose, losing, losing cool, me, nautical, sailor, sailor joke, sarcastic, sea, sea life
Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

1 week ago

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My birth year getting a lil too far on those lil scroll lists. I don’t like that.

2 weeks ago

birth, getting, i, Lil, lists, scroll, too, year

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on X this month:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

10 shares on WeChat this month:

“You handled it so well.” Nah, I didn’t. I lost my spark, felt crazy, distanced myself from everyone, and hated myself.

69 shares on Facebook this month:

Nothing says “not interested” quite like a Restraining Order.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

He’s an everything bagel… I’m just a nothing burger…

42 shares on Threads this month:

My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like they’re hamsters.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

What’s a beginner hobby for someone just getting into being happy?

46 shares on X this month:

And then the vodka whispered, “Say what you really think.”

30 shares on WeChat this month:

Confession: If you’ve ever been in a revolving door with me, I was only pretending to push.

23 shares on X this month:

I want my boyfriend to be so hot strangers know he’s not funny.

72 shares on Facebook this month:

Nobody’s more stubborn than an Android person that won’t switch to iPhone.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Never go to bed angry. Stay up and finish the argument like an adult.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Do you ever cycle through the same 4 apps on your phone over and over again, and feel like a tiger pacing its cage at the zoo?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

German couples probably have less arguments because there’s an exact word for, “I’m fine, just annoyed you forgot the milk again”.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Be useless, so nobody can use you.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Dancing alone in your home is its own kind of therapy.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Calling a lobotomy a “lobobo” to fit in with Gen Z.

Going viral on X:

Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

Just landed via Facebook:

After weeks of using an anti aging cream, I can now proudly say: I now have very well-maintained wrinkles.

Making waves on Reddit:

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I just borrowed some money from a cash app, now I’m about to uninstall it.

Trending via TikTok:

Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

Breaking via Twitch:

I’m not an idiot anymore, universe, please stop with the lessons.

Going viral on YouTube:

Part of getting older is having a favorite pen.

Breaking via Messenger:

This is not an empty room, this is a very successful anti-party.

Seen just now on X:

I’m addicted to placebos.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Having to write cover letters is so dumb. Do you really believe my dream ever since I was a little girl was to work for you? No. It was to ride a pony on a funky space rainbow. Grow up.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Who needs dystopian fiction when you can watch the news?

I am absolutely unstoppable, unless it’s a bit rainy.

Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.

I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.

Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

My birth year getting a lil too far on those lil scroll lists. I don’t like that.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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