Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"I mean, who needs a job when you can ride a pony on a funky space rainbow, am I right? 🦄🌈 Don't worry, unicorns and rainbows are way cooler than a boring old cover letter! 💌✨ #DreamJobGoals"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

2 months ago

advice, boundary, house, humor, let, matter, move, move in, sad, sad story, story
Why are plane tickets so expensive? You’re going that way anyway, just give me a ride.

19 hours ago

airfare, expense, expensive, give, going, humor, joke, just, me, plane, plane ticket, ride, ticket, tickets, transportation, travel, why
I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

2 months ago

chores, feel, fine, frustration, honesty, household, humor, i, just, know, left, let, lie, machine, me, much, need, never, time, understand, washing, washing machine
Not right now. I’m manifesting.

1 day ago

excuse, humor, manifesting, mindfulness, motivation, procrastination, right, self-care
My son got braces today. Yay, he’s not going to be a teenage dad.

3 months ago

braces, dad, dental, going, humor, milestones, parenting, son, teenage, teenage dad, today, yay
I don’t want flying cars, I want the ability to start again from my last save point.

2 months ago

ability, car, choice, flying, flying car, game, humor, i, last, life, life choice, nostalgia, point, restart, save, save point, start, technology, video, video game, want

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you ever feel stupid, just remember there are people who forgive cheating.

83 shares on Telegram this month:

Getting paid 26 times in 365 days is not my destiny.

17 shares on Slack this month:

You can tell they named the aardvark early in the week and the anteater on a Friday.

83 shares on Instagram this month:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they are dead.

64 shares on Facebook this month:

We are the last generation of programmers who know the deadly feeling of seeing the exact problem in our code, on Stack Overflow, with 0 answers.

93 shares on Messenger this month:

US etiquette question: Do you need to tip the guy at the border who reads your last five years of social media history?

15 shares on WeChat this month:

Date night idea: fight another couple.

81 shares on WeChat this month:

This gum has my stomach convinced food is coming.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

The one thing I think most parents need to realize is, there’s absolutely no secrets that your child doesn’t share about you in the classroom.

39 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

I’ve been reading the room for 20 minutes. It’s not looking so good.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

I feel a deep connection to librarians because I also love telling people to shut up.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

If I could have immunity to anything I would pick calories.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

When people suck the life out of you, they should take some fat too.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Hungry me has no respect for bathroom scale me.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Whoever first said, “It gets to a point,” was definitely at that point, and I feel them deeply.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

There should be a “Take Your Friend to Work Day,” so we can actually see what our friends do all day and meet the characters from all their work stories.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

I’m “I can’t sit like that for too long” years old.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Why learn new slang? Stay bogus.

Making waves on YouTube:

The concept of warding off vampires with crosses is so interesting to me. I wonder if it applies to any other religion or if they’re allergic to just Catholicism.

Shared recently on Discord:

Hiking in your 40s is a great way to meet new people. Today I met two paramedics, three nurses, a cardiologist, and nearly met Jesus.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

“I’ll run it by the boss” is one of the peak boomerisms you can say as a married man. It feels electric.

Trending via Twitch:

“You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.

Spotted on TikTok:

Eating cold ravioli counts as breakfast if you’re still wearing yesterday’s clothes.

Seen just now on Threads:

So we have actual fact checkers who know all the facts? Why not create a TV channel where they just give us the facts? We could call it the News.

Trending via Twitch:

If anyone wants to watch the Super Bowl on a large 8k TV, come on over to my place (and bring a large 8k TV).

Seen just now on Slack:

One year of friendship, and I’ve not seen your breasts? Are we really friends?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Having to write cover letters is so dumb. Do you really believe my dream ever since I was a little girl was to work for you? No. It was to ride a pony on a funky space rainbow. Grow up.

Keep the laugh going 😂

No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

Why are plane tickets so expensive? You’re going that way anyway, just give me a ride.

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

Not right now. I’m manifesting.

My son got braces today. Yay, he’s not going to be a teenage dad.

I don’t want flying cars, I want the ability to start again from my last save point.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨