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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to pull all nighters.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

I knew I had issues when motivational speakers started to irritate me.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

I’m not athletic, but I’m good at jumping to conclusions.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so on my birthday, I smear my body with embryonic fluid.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Welcome, new followers! It’s all downhill from here.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

The prime minister is a minister that is not divisible by any other minister.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Only at 27 do you become old, and then when you turn 30, you become younger than ever. That’s just how it goes.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Everyone has their talents. Mine is picking the checkout line filled with people who apparently have never gone through a checkout line before in their life.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

A murder on the dance floor would explain the panic! at the disco.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,514

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Rage bait often works on me because I was already angry before I read that.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

In a massage chair at the mall just moaning really loud.

Making waves on Twitch:

Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

When I was a kid there were two sure ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Just shared via Messenger:

The feminine urge to say “ouch” when I bump into things that doesn’t even hurt.

Breaking via X:

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror.

Live now on Twitch:

I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs I’ve ever lost in my life.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

Spreading quickly via X:

I don’t have a yoga mat, but I have a Twister mat, and it’s the same thing.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Brussels sprouts were invented by big cabbage to sell little cabbages.

I stop myself at least twice a day from posting a status that would make everyone grab popcorn.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying my best not to turn my life into a blockbuster drama reel 🍿😅📱

daily, daily routine, day, everyone, humor, i, least, media, myself, popcorn, posting, routine, self-control, social, social media, status, status update, stop, twice, update

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Missionary, so we can discuss how 15 min can save us 15% or more on car insurance.

0

3 months ago

15, 15 minutes, car, car insurance, conversation, discount, humor, insurance, joke, minutes, missionary, save, saving, us
I believe it was Aristotle who once said “The fastest way to get your kids to stop screaming is to also start screaming.”

0

2 months ago

Aristotle, believe, fastest, humor, i, kids, laughter, once, parenting, screaming, start, stop
Whatever the plot is in Barbie’s movie, my dolls have been through worse.

0

2 months ago

Barbie, doll, movie, plot, whatever, worse
I feel bad for those that don’t enjoy their own company. I be having a ball by myself.

0

3 months ago

alone, bad, ball, company, enjoy, enjoyment, feel, feeling, feeling bad, fun, having, having fun, i, myself, own, self, self company, self enjoyment
Micro-dosing time travel by going to bed.

0

2 months ago

bed, bedtime, going, humor, joke, micro-dosing, microdosing, relaxation, sci-fi, sleep, time, time travel, travel
Reading Shakespeare for the first time is crazy because you go, “Oh, that’s where that comes from,” every other page.

0

5 months ago

crazy, discovery, every, first time, humor, literature, oh, origin, page, quote origin, reading, Shakespeare, time, where

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Reddit this month:

Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

94 shares on TikTok this month:

By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.

45 shares on Threads this month:

Lois Lane said, “Clark?” like she didn’t just make out with that same jawline in spandex twelve hours ago.

30 shares on Twitch this month:

Marriage is where you gasp while your husband is driving, and he gets super annoyed over and over.

54 shares on X this month:

Some people’s high horses are actually donkeys.

44 shares on TikTok this month:

The most surprising part of adulthood is parenting your parents.

88 shares on Twitch this month:

Everytime I spend $20 I think this is fine because I won’t do it again. And then would you believe.

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

I have a mental illness that makes me think that people will change their minds if I present the correct arguments with the appropriate facts and data.

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

If Dracula had a cat, she’d be the one sleeping in the coffin.

35 shares on Threads this month:

There should be a calorie refund for food that didn’t taste as good as you expected.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

But what if I don’t want someone that’s good for me?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

A frittata is just an omelette for people too lazy to flip things.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

I need the youth to start reading. Even if it’s the tag on your underwear. Read it.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Seems like the ‘how to use a fire extinguisher’ video on YouTube shouldn’t have a 30-second ad before it.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Everyone wants a drunk text until I’m doing it at noon.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Pornhub should do a wrap-up of your year like Spotify does.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Death by a thousand stupid questions.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Life hack: You can’t be sad if you are asleep.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Everyone is getting idioter.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The existence of raw sexuality implies the existence of medium sexuality, but also well-done sexuality.

Trending via Reddit:

Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.

Breaking via Twitch:

The fact that I have a lot of wine in the house proves that I don’t drink much. Otherwise the wine would be gone.

Just shared via Twitch:

I hate it when I check my transactions history, and everything adds up like damn, so no one stole from me.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Nowadays, people no longer look for a needle in a haystack, but for errors in a spreadsheet.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.

Just landed via Threads:

The single star on Texas’ flag is actually a review.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

Trending via Discord:

Teens be like, “This is the worst day of my life,” and it’s just that they were told to unload the dishwasher.

Going viral on Reddit:

Debugging is like being the detective in a crime where you are also the murderer. Following the clues of an idiot.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I stop myself at least twice a day from posting a status that would make everyone grab popcorn.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Missionary, so we can discuss how 15 min can save us 15% or more on car insurance.

I believe it was Aristotle who once said “The fastest way to get your kids to stop screaming is to also start screaming.”

Whatever the plot is in Barbie’s movie, my dolls have been through worse.

I feel bad for those that don’t enjoy their own company. I be having a ball by myself.

Micro-dosing time travel by going to bed.

Reading Shakespeare for the first time is crazy because you go, “Oh, that’s where that comes from,” every other page.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨