14 funny Uber quotes - Wordgag

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

May 30, 2026

Some Uber rides in NYC are the same price as a JetBlue flight to Miami.

May 29, 2026

Uber drivers have secret access to a streaming service of exclusively the worst music you’ve ever heard.

May 29, 2026

I love when my Uber driver and I both shut the hell up for a full ride.

May 28, 2026

Girl, are you an Uber driver? Because you are driving me to drink.

May 26, 2026

No kids at my wedding. Gonna Uber the flower girl home when she’s done.

May 25, 2026May 25, 2026

Uber Eats “you forgot to finish your order” notification is funny because I didn’t forget, I just came to my senses.

May 25, 2026

My cat is so finicky. I finally gave up and taught him how to order Uber Eats for himself.

May 24, 2026

I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

May 23, 2026

DUI stands for: don’t Uber, I got this.

May 20, 2026

Uber sends notifications like “Hey, want to take an Uber right now?” No thanks, buddy. It’s more for when I need to go somewhere.

May 20, 2026

People always talk about how they love to sit in their cars for a while once they get home. Whenever I do that, my Uber driver yells at me.

May 20, 2026

Money saved by using public transport instead of an Uber is paid for with your time and mental health instead.

May 20, 2026

My Uber driver didn’t try to talk to me the entire ride. Five stars.

May 19, 2026