Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Wi-Fi: Your internet connection is unstable. Me: You should see my life.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

I come from a long line of people with something wrong with them.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

“Winter is literally the best season.” Okay, husky, go sit outside then.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

I want a president who promises no jobs. I don’t want to have a job.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

I regret to inform you all that I just plan on getting hotter and weirder.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I’ve been reading the room for 20 minutes. It’s not looking so good.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re always sleepy unless you’re trying to get to sleep.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

I walked into a holiday party, saw someone else already playing with the dog, and realized they’d stolen my entire social strategy.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

I don’t wish anyone strife in their relationship but I do wish my neighbors would enunciate a little more when they fight so I can hear better.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,418

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

The heart wants what it wants, but it’s not the only organ that has a vote.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Men used to go to war, now they want to be the little spoon.

Going bananas on TikTok:

And today, just like every day, I learned something new . . . but I’m old, so I forgot what it was already.

Seen just now on Slack:

My bank account is also in retrograde.

Spotted on Instagram:

Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.

Just shared via Messenger:

Refusing to make eye contact with anyone while I eat my banana.

Seen just now on Slack:

Sometimes it’s not a secret, it’s just none of your business.

Just landed via TikTok:

Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

Just shared via X:

If I like cleaning? Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Taking a sip of beer and letting out a big “ahhhh” so the pregnant lady at the pool next to me knows what she’s missing.

3 weeks ago

Funny text about enjoying a beer to impress a pregnant lady at the pool.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When life gives you lemons, just make sure they aren't floating in someone else's pool drink! 🍺😆🤰 #PoolsidePerks"

beer, beverage, big, humor, joke, knows, lady, letting, me, missing, next, pool, pregnancy, pregnant, relaxation, social, summer, taking

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

We literally used to write an essay by hand.

1 month ago

education, essay, hand, handwriting, humor, literally, memory, nostalgia, old, old school, school, used, writing
I love being an adult and sitting absolutely still and suddenly I’ve hurt my neck somehow.

4 weeks ago

adult, being, humor, hurt, i, irony, life, love, neck, sitting, still
I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

1 month ago

comedy, humor, joke, life, naturally, whole
My DMs are always open if you want to talk to yourself.

1 month ago

always, conversation, DM, DMs, humor, media, open, sarcasm, self, social, social media, talk, want, yourself
The Bloodhound Gang were very special because its music for 12-year-old boys, but every reference requires you to be 40 years old.

3 weeks ago

12-year-old, 12-year-old boy, 40, 40-year-old, age, age gap, bloodhound, Bloodhound Gang, boy, boys, every, gang, gap, humor, music, nostalgia, old, reference, special
Hmm, that’s a bit too harsh. Let me put “lol” at the end of it.

1 month ago

end, harsh, humor, let, lighthearted, lol, me, put, sarcasm

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on TikTok this month:

Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

83 shares on Telegram this month:

My sleeping cycle is completely backwards. In the morning I feel sleepy and at night I can’t fall asleep.

50 shares on TikTok this month:

Friday the 13th used to mean something. Now every day is awful.

62 shares on Slack this month:

Thoughts more intrusive than a 90s sitcom neighbor.

28 shares on Snapchat this month:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not having a job.

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

86 shares on TikTok this month:

Mood to play music louder than my thoughts.

39 shares on TikTok this month:

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

12 shares on Pinterest this month:

Ever woken up, kissed the person sleeping next to you and felt glad to be alive? I just did, so I won’t be catching this train again.

56 shares on Discord this month:

DUI stands for: don’t Uber, I got this.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

“Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Mind if I crawl into your DMs and stay there for a while?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Home is where you trust the toilet seats.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Dry January is so funny. People are like, “How can I make the worst month of the year even worse?”

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

My sister: snowboards. My brother: skateboards. Me: charcuterie boards.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Not only is Santa not real, there are also no horny singles in your area wanting to meet you.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Not arguing with people anymore, I’m just gonna say “it makes sense that you would think that”.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Spring is what we call the time in between complaining about the cold and complaining about the heat.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

Making waves on Messenger:

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

You can always tell it’s Monday because nobody’s smiling.

Spotted on WeChat:

I calculated my December budget and realized everyone is getting a hug for Christmas.

Seen just now on Reddit:

If it’s a ghost ship, why does it have to be on water?

Making waves on TikTok:

Getting to the age where I’m like, “Oh, hopefully I’ll be dead by then.”

Spotted on Telegram:

Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The best time to visit Japan is when you have money!

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Doing an hour of self-care after 23 hours of self-destruction.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The secret to work life balance is generational wealth.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Taking a sip of beer and letting out a big “ahhhh” so the pregnant lady at the pool next to me knows what she’s missing.

Keep the laugh going 😂

We literally used to write an essay by hand.

I love being an adult and sitting absolutely still and suddenly I’ve hurt my neck somehow.

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

My DMs are always open if you want to talk to yourself.

The Bloodhound Gang were very special because its music for 12-year-old boys, but every reference requires you to be 40 years old.

Hmm, that’s a bit too harsh. Let me put “lol” at the end of it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨