Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

I’m at the stage in life where I stay out of arguments. Even if you say 1+1=5, you’re right. Have fun.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Jealous that my phone can just die for a little while.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Toys R Us went out of business because their mascot was a stupid giraffe when it could’ve been a toy dinosaur called the Toysaurus. It was right there man.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

I would love to go back to the days when the biggest stress was finding the best hiding place when playing hide and seek.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I think I should talk to my colleagues more often. Until I talk to my colleagues.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

You can talk about any topic for 30 mins if you’re a confident liar.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m pretty sure I fall under the percentage of people who’ve eaten the sticker on the apple.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

21 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,290

Funny Quotes Topics

17,410

Funny Quotes Images

15,290

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,582

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

I only squeak when I’m squoken to.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I treat people the way I want to be treated by not leaving the house.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Oh, that’s nothing a sudden burst of completely disproportionate rage won’t solve.

Going viral on Telegram:

I hate managing money, I was born to splurge.

Just landed via Telegram:

If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Technically, the Friday after July 4 isn’t a holiday. But I think we all know that Americans have a constitutional right to take the fifth.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I just need to lie down for a couple of years.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

The best weight you’ll ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinions.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Welcome to my very loose interpretation of ‘functioning adult’.

Spotted on Snapchat:

A gambler is only called an addict when he loses.

Every time I see a dog with its head out a window, I know it’s having a better day than I am.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Somebody remind me to take life lessons from dogs 🐶😂. Window views > Monday blues! 🚗🌬️🎉

am, animal, better, comparison, daily, daily life, day, dog, every, happiness, having, head, humor, i, joy, know, life, pet, time, window

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When I say I love the ocean, I mean I love the surface. Whatever goes on beneath has my respect, but it’s none of my business.

0

1 month ago

boundary, business, humor, i, love, mean, mystery, none, ocean, respect, say, surface, underwater, whatever
Whoever named them fitting rooms has a lot of nerve.

0

2 months ago

experience, fashion, fitting, fitting room, humor, irony, nerve, retail, room, rooms, shopping
You should leave your comfort zone and come to mine instead.

0

1 month ago

comfort, comfort zone, humor, interaction, invitation, leave, mine, personality, should, social, social interaction, zone
Gonna waterboard my houseplants so they know who’s the boss.

0

2 months ago

authority, boss, care, gardening, houseplant, humor, joke, plant, plant care, waterboard, waterboarding
Welcome to your 40s, where the hair shows up uninvited and looks pissed to be here.

0

3 months ago

40s, aging, frustration, guest, hair, here, humor, looks, pissed, shows, uninvited, uninvited guest, welcome, where
Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.

0

2 months ago

ambition, Dior, fashion, hard, hard work, humor, Shein, study, success, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

91 shares on WeChat this month:

Being late to work should never be that serious. At least I came?

28 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ve cut my fingernails too short and now I can’t open my shower gel. What’s the point of being well-groomed if I can’t smell like mangos?

46 shares on Pinterest this month:

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

I need to stop living by the words “life is short.” It’s hurting my bank account.

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sometimes my mouth hits send before my brain has a chance to stop it.

29 shares on Facebook this month:

As someone with OCD, I can’t help but respect how Pringles are just like, no, this is the order you must eat them in.

29 shares on Pinterest this month:

Stay humble and play dumb. People reveal who they truly are when they think they are smarter than you.

45 shares on YouTube this month:

Growing old is a process of saying “it’s probably nothing,” with increasing frequency and increasingly being wrong.

98 shares on TikTok this month:

Is it okay for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school, or am I just a terrible teacher?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

People my age are on baby #2, and I’m on drink #5.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

I may not be the smartest or most athletic man in the world. There’s no second part to this, keep scrolling.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

“I’m not dramatic. I just react with the intensity of a Shakespearean widow at all times.”

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Watching a movie and subtitles not syncing is low-key pain.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

There’s protein in foods that have never been protein before.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

70% of the planet is covered in water, yet here I am drowning in bullshit.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

“Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by “Wham” encourages you to do something you shouldn’t do.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Sorry, can you repeat what you said? I didn’t have my glasses on.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

I kind of can’t wait for my generation to be bumping 90’s hip hop, rap, and heavy metal at the old folks’ homes.

Making waves on Discord:

Discord is only good for calling friends on the computer. Please do not waste your time getting caught up in random servers.

Just shared via TikTok:

God doesn’t do nearly enough smiting anymore.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Men used to build castles for women they love, but now they think replying on time is too much effort.

Seen just now on Facebook:

An entire generation is currently studying for jobs that will not exist.

Spotted on Pinterest:

When I’m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

Going viral on TikTok:

My kids want to know what’s for dinner, like they’re going to be happy with the answer.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Had chicken and egg for dinner because I wanted to eat the whole family.

Just landed via WeChat:

You know Santa isn’t real because no man over 40 is out past 9PM.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Every time I see a dog with its head out a window, I know it’s having a better day than I am.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

When I say I love the ocean, I mean I love the surface. Whatever goes on beneath has my respect, but it’s none of my business.

Whoever named them fitting rooms has a lot of nerve.

You should leave your comfort zone and come to mine instead.

Gonna waterboard my houseplants so they know who’s the boss.

Welcome to your 40s, where the hair shows up uninvited and looks pissed to be here.

Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨