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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m at that age where I can no longer refer to other people as “elderly.”

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

I am absolutely unstoppable, unless it’s a bit rainy.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

It must be hard for a vampire to floss their fangs when they can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Is there a bravery award I can nominate my son for as he managed to eat his toast despite the fact I cut it wrong.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

I’m very strong, but not in a get a jar open kinda way.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Ain’t no girls in my messages, just a bunch of verification codes.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. Same thing.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Hey beauty brands who make face creams: 30ml is only enough for an ant’s face.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Snapchat:

The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.

Going viral on Facebook:

I held the door for an old person today and he was like, “didn’t we go to high school together” and we did.

Going viral on WeChat:

How do they know an animal is extinct? Like, have you really looked everywhere?

Making waves on X:

Have you ever been in the car with someone who drives like we got extra lives?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

There should be a “Take Your Friend to Work Day,” so we can actually see what our friends do all day and meet the characters from all their work stories.

Trending via Snapchat:

This site could use some more people who like to argue about literally anything.

Spotted on WeChat:

Before cell phones, if you were bored in public, you had to flip a nickel in the air over and over.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.

Spotted on WeChat:

Remember when the FBI would threaten you at the beginning of every VHS tape? That was pretty cool.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

1657 Funny irony quotes

More funny irony quotes 👇

King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

2 weeks ago

able, better, building, city, funny observation, hide, hiding, hiding place, humor, irony, king, King Kong, kong, middle, movie, movie reference, new, New York City, observation, place, reference, tallest, tallest building, top, york
But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

2 weeks ago

calls, conversation, humor, irony, nice, phone, prison, unexpected
Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

2 weeks ago

ask, awkward, awkward moment, conversation, date, dating, finds, guy, humor, husband, irony, me, moment, myself, questions, relationship
I love saying “why would I lie” when I’m lying.

2 weeks ago

honesty, humor, i, irony, lie, love, lying, saying, why
Men will ruin your whole life then come back and like your story.

2 weeks ago

back, comeback, humor, irony, life, men, relationship, ruin, story, whole
I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

2 weeks ago

FitBit, fitness, frustration, humor, i, irony, item, lost, lost item, put, steps, taken, track, tracking, trying, where, wish
Manipulative people really be like “oh, so now I’m the bad guy for being the bad guy?”

2 weeks ago

bad, bad guy, being, guy, humor, irony, manipulative, oh, people, personality, sarcasm, self-awareness
Did you know 17 muscles are activated when you’re crying? Fitness is my passion.

2 weeks ago

crying, exercise, fitness, humor, irony, know, muscle, muscles, passion
Men make it so easy to hate them.

2 weeks ago

easy, hate, humor, irony, men, relationships
God, I was so happy when I was 18. I wasn’t at the time, but in retrospect I was.

2 weeks ago

age, contentment, God, happiness, happy, i, irony, reflection, retrospect, time, youth

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All funny irony quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on Slack this month:

Bought a pair of night vision goggles so that I can easily find the fridge at night without waking my wife.

29 shares on Threads this month:

Women pretending not to see men staring at them is an essential survival skill.

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sexting is hilarious, when you think about it. Like, this email truly should’ve been a meeting.

99 shares on Discord this month:

When the doorbell rings, I always go to the door with my jacket on. Depending on who it is, I either just want to leave or have just come home.

11 shares on Reddit this month:

Sometimes I delay my haircut intentionally to look rugged just to make that glow-up more iconic.

41 shares on Pinterest this month:

Breaking a heart is considered bad, but melting a heart is somehow good.

99 shares on Threads this month:

Intro to salsa class was weird, I starved myself all day, there was no chips or dips and then these weirdos were all grabby and dancing around.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

Pleasantly surprised to discover the treadmill I bought came with a remote control, so I can run it from my recliner.

60 shares on Slack this month:

Your secrets are safe with me. I wasn’t even listening.

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m growing a mullet so no one will want to hangout with me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Nothing like waking up on a Friday and finding out it’s Tuesday.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

I don’t care for the term drug mule, why can’t it be a drug unicorn.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Quitting my job to rock around the Christmas tree.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

I’m a good listener. If you’re interesting.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Women will be like “I know a spot,” and then take you directly to hell.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Halloween is a big day for dogs who love to absolutely lose their shit when the doorbell rings.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Just emerged from my Y2K bunker. Everybody okay?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

The only thing Flat Earthers have to fear is sphere itself.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

I was explaining to my Ukrainian colleague the phrase ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’. She told me the equivalent in Ukrainian is ‘The only free cheese is in the mousetrap’ — which is so much better.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Babe, what’s wrong? You’ve barely tweeted your manic thoughts today.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

We all have needs. I need my wife to go run errands so I can swipe the last donut.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

“I’m not short. I’m just more down to earth than most people.”

Just landed via YouTube:

“This was on sale!” is why I’m always broke.

Breaking via Messenger:

My family asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day, so I packed their bags and changed the locks.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

Just landed via Discord:

(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?

Breaking via Telegram:

An easy way to check if you’re attractive: send a “Hey” DM and see if they reply.

Trending via Twitch:

Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.

Trending via Slack:

Umbrellas are great if you only want to get wet sideways.

Shared recently on Threads:

“What’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.

Activity Log ✨

1657 Funny irony quotes

More funny irony quotes 👇

All funny irony quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨