Commentary:
"Let's do this again sometime… or not! 😂🤷♂️ #LostInTranslation #WordFumbles"
1681 Funny irony quotes
The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.
Commentary:
😂🔥 "When even the devil's like, 'Nah, I'm good,' you know you're special! 😈👌 #HellHoudini"
The problem with leading by example is that no one pays attention.
Commentary:
"When you're trying to lead by example but everyone's too busy watching cat videos instead. 🐱📱😆"
We work all week to work some more around the house all weekend long. Isn’t life grand?
Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal cycle of 'relaxing' by doing chores! Who needs rest when you've got a lawn to mow? 😅🏡🛠️"
I be like, “Who’s praying on my downfall?” as if I don’t make self-destructive life decisions.
Commentary:
"When the real enemy is the man in the mirror 😂🤦♂️ #TeamSelfSabotage" 💥🔄
We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.
Commentary:
"Trying to hold down a job while the universe spins like a blender in the rinse cycle! 🌪️🍹 #CosmicJobFair"
Floating on a rock in space, but yeah – 9 to 5 sounds reasonable.
Commentary:
"Who knew 'spinning around a fireball' was in the job description? 🌍🚀😂 #SpaceLife"
Crossing my fingers one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.
Commentary:
"Just hoping the Horsemen swipe right! 🐴🤞💀 #ApocalypseDating"
Born to say “Who the hell raised you to be this stupid.” Forced to work in groups.
Commentary:
"Guess I'm in a permanent group project with the universe 🤔🤦♂️ #RaisedByDPs"
Accidentally falling asleep is always the best sleep — and that’s so irritating.
Commentary:
"Falling asleep on accident: 10/10. Waking up with drool on my sleeve: priceless. 😴💤🤦♂️"