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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Parenting a teenager is surreal because you’ll be sitting there, and some dude who is much taller than you will walk around the corner and ask you how to open a popcorn bag.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

According to a recent study, women who are a little overweight live longer than men who mention it.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Screaming into the abyss has lost some of its effectiveness, if I’m being honest.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Quitting my job to focus on decorating the tree.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Playing Mortal Kombat at an arcade in the 90’s would fix me.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Babies are undefeated at debate. Their gibberish is too passionate.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

341 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,934

Funny Quotes Topics

17,104

Funny Quotes Images

14,934

Updated

Dec 14, 2025

Users Online

3,973

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on X:

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

Spreading quickly via X:

Everyone’s gangster until they use a pen that is satisfyingly smooth and fun to write with.

Just landed via X:

If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.

Seen just now on Reddit:

After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.

Just shared via Messenger:

In a parallel universe, I go to bed early and wake up fresh and unstoppable.

Just shared via Messenger:

Maybe in another life, I’m a spoiled nepo baby — jobless and doing nothing but shopping all day with my equally nepotised friends.

Making waves on YouTube:

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you’re getting a dictionary.

I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
😂🐱 Proof that cats are the masterminds behind all major negotiations. They'd rather stage a hunger strike than eat subpar kibble! 🍽️🧠

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like they’re hamsters.

1 month ago

animal, animal comparison, comparison, favorite, football, hamsters, humor, players, sport, sport humor, water
Asking “how’s the job hunt going?” is a lot like asking “did you come?” I promise you, you’d hear if there was any success.

4 months ago

asking, awkward, awkward question, communication, conversation, dating, embarrassment, going, hear, humor, hunt, i, job, job hunt, job search, lot, promise, question, search, success
“You’re overthinking this!” Bro, I have anxiety. I have no other type of thinking available.

4 weeks ago

anxiety, available, bro, health, humor, i, mental, mental health, overthinking, thinking, type
Ponytails are only hot on women, bro.

1 month ago

attractiveness, bro, gender, hairstyle, hot, humor, only, ponytail, woman, women
The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they are not robots.

1 month ago

AI, asking, automation, captcha, computers, humans, humor, joke, mankind, parody, proof, prove, robots, technology
Maybe dogs are smarter than us because they found a way to get fed and housed without having to go to college and get a job.

1 month ago

college, dog, dogs, found, having, humor, independence, intelligence, job, lifestyle, maybe, pet, satire, smarter, us

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Messages are way funnier when you know how that person talks.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I just want to be treated like a hot little French fry.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

This year has gone by so quick. Christmas is basically tomorrow.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Instagram is run by celebrities. Twitter is run by the streets.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I hope this email blows your head smoove off.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

I saw The Blair Witch Project way too young and it made me afraid of projects.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

Live now on Telegram:

You can’t have a bad day at work if you don’t go.

Trending via TikTok:

Offering friendship as a consolation prize for a failed romantic connection attempt is absolutely cruel.

Just shared via Reddit:

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

Going viral on Facebook:

Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

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Activity Log ✨

I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like they’re hamsters.

Asking “how’s the job hunt going?” is a lot like asking “did you come?” I promise you, you’d hear if there was any success.

“You’re overthinking this!” Bro, I have anxiety. I have no other type of thinking available.

Ponytails are only hot on women, bro.

The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they are not robots.

Maybe dogs are smarter than us because they found a way to get fed and housed without having to go to college and get a job.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I love that retail therapy works on me. I am so much happier and at peace when I’m buying things for myself.

I feel so bad when I overtake an old person on the sidewalk. Like, man, I really didn’t mean to flex on you with my youthful stride.

Can everyone log off? I need some time alone right now.

Frankly, I have too many situations and not enough monitors.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Cheating before AI required a level of effort that you ended up learning something by default.

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

Getting to the age where I’m like, “Oh, hopefully I’ll be dead by then.”

I lied, there is no sex. You’re helping me repot plants.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Authentic isn’t automatically good. You could be an authentic douchebag.

Trying to be cute today but my face isn’t cooperating.

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

Sometimes I use big words I don’t always fully understand, in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

It is a mistake to say that the people who live a hundred years from now will have nothing to laugh at. They can laugh at us.

My my husband’s favorite thing is when I blame him for losing something that’s actually in my hand.

Coffee is just goth water.

I’m never early… unless we’re talking about the airport.

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I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like they’re hamsters.

Asking “how’s the job hunt going?” is a lot like asking “did you come?” I promise you, you’d hear if there was any success.

“You’re overthinking this!” Bro, I have anxiety. I have no other type of thinking available.

Ponytails are only hot on women, bro.

The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they are not robots.

Maybe dogs are smarter than us because they found a way to get fed and housed without having to go to college and get a job.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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