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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

When did making sense stop making sense?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Sometimes I feel useless, but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

I think some of you are faking your sarcasms.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

I can’t work under these festive conditions.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Elevators frighten me. I take steps to avoid them.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

I march to the beat of my own dumb.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,833

Funny Quotes Topics

17,014

Funny Quotes Images

14,833

Updated

Dec 9, 2025

Users Online

3,944

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Super excited for a brand new week of hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.

Shared recently on Slack:

I see from the back of your car that you have found Jesus, but not your turn signal.

Making waves on Snapchat:

There are days when trying to control your class is like trying to hug a tornado.

Just landed via Twitch:

If you saw me licking the plate after the charcuterie was finished, no you didn’t.

Just shared via Twitch:

The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I kind of miss when people stood 6 feet away.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened, and they’ll instantly start celebrating too. They have no idea what the context is; they’re just always ready to party, no matter what.

4 months ago

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Commentary:
When your dog is the ultimate hype buddy and thinks every day is a surprise birthday party! 🎉🐶🎈

act, always, animal, animal behavior, behavior, best, celebration, context, dog, dogs, excitement, good, happiness, idea, joy, just, matter, party, pet, ready, something, start, thing, too

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

4 weeks ago

activity, again, drinking, fun, going, humor, later, never, promise, something, today
I decided to be me and now we have a problem.

4 weeks ago

humor, i, identity, individuality, me, problem, self-expression
And then the vodka whispered, “Say what you really think.”

4 weeks ago

alcohol, drinking, honesty, humor, say, think, vodka, whisper
Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

1 month ago

ask, asking, before, Google, help, humor, information, irony, know, knowledge, someone, something, technology, time, works
True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

1 month ago

comfort, freedom, humor, life, luxury, relaxation, self, sleeping, true, wake, waking, yourself
On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

1 month ago

bikini, body, body image, cake, choice, dilemma, hand, humor, ID, image, indulgence, love, sexy

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

They should invent a day where it all works out.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

A Bug’s Life” (1998) radicalized me.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Your girlfriend needs two hours to get ready. But if you don’t have your shoes on when she’s ready, you’re the problem.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my horniest.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

The goth urge to live in a haunted Victorian estate and be feared by the townspeople.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Sorry I missed your call, I was staring in horror at the screen, wondering why on earth you couldn’t just text me.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

The rain is pouring. So naturally it’s a good day to eat 6 donuts.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

The worst part about being drunk and seeing double is when you realize it’s just one slice of pizza.

Making waves on Pinterest:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re searching “Thanksgiving recipes that won’t cause heartburn.”

Going bananas on WeChat:

Why do we say ‘slept like a baby’? Babies wake up every two hours crying. I want to sleep like my cat—14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’ve noticed the best way to get somebody’s attention is to not want it anymore.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I don’t understand why people have to “get ready for bed.” I am always ready for bed.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Everyone thinks they will be the first person in history to maintain their dignity while posting online.

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Activity Log ✨

The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened, and they’ll instantly start celebrating too. They have no idea what the context is; they’re just always ready to party, no matter what.

I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

I decided to be me and now we have a problem.

And then the vodka whispered, “Say what you really think.”

Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed.

I need a browser plugin that disables Amazon when I’m drinking. Hashtag: don’t drink and Prime.

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

The fact it costs $15 to get a basic meal at a fast-food restaurant now is comical.

Everyone’s worried about a recession, but babes, we’re heading for a dark age.

There’s protein in foods that have never been protein before.

“I’ll see” = not coming, never was coming, never even considered it.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

The place where you pour in the gas is the car’s gasshole.

There should be bloopers at the end of horror movies, so it relaxes you before bedtime.

I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I wonder if this next thunderstorm is thinking of me, too.

Welcome to your 40s: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

The cheapest way to fly is off the handle.

The best essential oils are the ones that drip out of Tacos.

Nowadays you don’t even have to go to the zoo. A trip to the mall is enough.

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The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened, and they’ll instantly start celebrating too. They have no idea what the context is; they’re just always ready to party, no matter what.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

I decided to be me and now we have a problem.

And then the vodka whispered, “Say what you really think.”

Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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