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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Never quit, unless it’s too hard.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

I think I’ma end the year with a plot twist, everyone hold on tight.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Imagine not sighing when you think about your life.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

There’s endless songs out there about love and pain and life, but basically only one about the wheels on the bus. Just goes to show you they nailed it the first try.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Are you okay, babe? You’ve barely moved in mysterious ways recently.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Everyone’s a gangster until they turn a spoon the wrong way under running water.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

lol is punctuation and LOL is laugh out loud.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,689

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have a favorite vegetable peeler.

Going viral on Discord:

I be like, “Who’s praying on my downfall?” as if I don’t make self-destructive life decisions.

Spotted on Instagram:

I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I used to think the cat was dumb for staring out the window, waiting for birds, but I’d probably stare too, if occasionally a pizza flew by.

Making waves on Messenger:

Common sense isn’t a gift. It’s a punishment, because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Shout out to all you people out there who get asked if you’re okay a lot even though that’s the only facial expression you have.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Bragging about how I’ve “really turned my life around recently” without mentioning in which direction.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Group projects in school weren’t meant to teach you teamwork, they were meant to teach you how to deal with the incompetence of your coworkers in the workplace.

Spotted on Telegram:

Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I’m done with work.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Human interaction is a great way to learn all the new swear words your subconscious mind has come up with in the lab.

Funny looming quotes

Funny looming quotes bring a hilarious twist to those moments when the future feels a little too close for comfort 😅⏳ Whether it’s deadlines, big decisions, or unexpected surprises, these witty lines turn anxiety into laughter 😂✨ Get ready to lighten the mood and embrace the chaos with a smile! 😎📅 #StayFunny #LoomingLaughs

New funny looming quotes 👇

All funny looming quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

If liars’ pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun.

26 shares on Telegram this month:

I just shaved my legs and man, the next 7 minutes and 34 seconds before it starts growing back is gonna feel amazing.

77 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ve watched porn with better writing than Stranger Things.

24 shares on TikTok this month:

I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

74 shares on Messenger this month:

A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”

29 shares on WeChat this month:

If elves make shoes, cookies, and toys, why don’t we put them in charge of more stuff?

37 shares on X this month:

I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

99 shares on Slack this month:

The quickest way to double your money is to hold it in front of a mirror.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version that doesn’t listen to anything.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Keep moving, lady, I don’t have room for you in my delusions right now.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I go to tattoo parlors and trick them into shaving my leg for me, and then leave.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

All I’m saying is, there are too many songs about love and not enough songs about evenly layered nachos.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Schedule your bikini wax for the first thing in the morning, and you won’t need that cup of coffee.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Ain’t no girls in my messages, just a bunch of verification codes.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

“The heart wants what the heart wants,” I whisper as I slowly walk up to the dessert table.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m broke — I got money, but it’s for responsibilities.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,714

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Ruining the Olympics for my fiancée by, every time they mention Paris, saying, “that’s where Ratatouille lived”.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

I’ve finally found a book that speaks to me. I believe it’s called an “audiobook”.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

The reward for doing really good work is more work.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Just heard my knee crack so loud I expected it to glow in the dark.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

If cartoons have taught us anything, it’s the uselessness of little umbrellas when plummeting from a cliff.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

The only hot singles in my area are in my wallet.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

I don’t care what other people think of me, at least mosquitoes find me attractive.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Dearest, I beg of you, sleep properly and go for walks.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

Missionary, so I can look him in the eyes and ask him why Ashley from work is texting him with heart eyes.

Live now on TikTok:

Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives?

Freshly posted on Slack:

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

Seen just now on TikTok:

You ever go to a baseball game and hear a guy yelling, “hot dogs! hot dogs!” over and over again? That’s me, looking for hot dogs.

Just shared via X:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please make it study.

Going viral on Slack:

When you’re two beers in, and you realize she looks like God.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Any porn site that allows comments is instantly funny because, like, why is that there.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Getting emotional thinking about everything SpongeBob has been through and his resilience despite it all.

Shared recently on Discord:

Asbestos? I’m doing asbestos I can.

Making waves on Telegram:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

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