Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Patience and forbearance are those qualities you develop when there are too many witnesses.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

If social media has taught me anything, it’s that we are all crazy in a different way.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

I may be a chaotic mess, but then so is quantum physics.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

I can’t sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

That little stroll to the coffee maker makes me happy every morning.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

How does pasta water know when you’re not looking?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

The bank just called and gave me the biggest compliment, said my balance is outstanding. I really needed that today.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

My employer is totally caring. They pay so poorly that I can’t afford to have an alcohol or drug problem.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,419

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

Instead of working on making myself a better person, I am going to purchase a cool new jacket.

Going viral on Instagram:

Hello, boyfriend? It’s me, girlfriend, from dating?

Seen just now on Facebook:

The world is in chaos, confess to your crush!

Freshly posted on Threads:

Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year’s? Now we’re old and cursing because we’re staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.

Just landed via YouTube:

May your life one day be as beautiful as you portray it on social media.

Live now on X:

If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.

Just landed via Slack:

Dear nurses, you don’t have to announce my weight, just write it down. That’s why I have my eyes closed when I’m on the scale.

Spotted on Telegram:

Life hack: give yourself 8 to 12 hours of alone time in the morning to mentally prepare for the day.

Shared recently on Discord:

Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’

Just landed via Instagram:

I love being left to my own devices. It’s like yeah, these are my devices.

Funny looming quotes

Funny looming quotes bring a hilarious twist to those moments when the future feels a little too close for comfort 😅⏳ Whether it’s deadlines, big decisions, or unexpected surprises, these witty lines turn anxiety into laughter 😂✨ Get ready to lighten the mood and embrace the chaos with a smile! 😎📅 #StayFunny #LoomingLaughs

New funny looming quotes 👇

All funny looming quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Reddit this month:

Having an exorcism, but only because the demon requested it.

51 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s normal that my retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding buried treasure at some point, right?

86 shares on Snapchat this month:

The fun thing about Airbnb is that you get to clean someone else’s house on your vacation.

16 shares on WeChat this month:

When you drink red wine from a cup, it looks like fruit tea and you are also admired by others for your healthy lifestyle.

42 shares on Pinterest this month:

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

71 shares on Discord this month:

“I’m tired of being forced to eat microplastics. I’m ready for big plastics now.”

64 shares on TikTok this month:

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Getting to the age where I’m like, “Oh, hopefully I’ll be dead by then.”

24 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Watching my wife absolutely hate my daughter’s boyfriend while being nice and hospitable to him has made me question every interaction I’ve had with another human being in my life.

71 shares on Threads this month:

Lorebombing is when you make a new friend in your thirties and you have to catch each other up.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If I ever have a daughter, I’m going to call her Erica, but spell it Airwrecka.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Church should be less preachy and more eat-y.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Catching me in person is rare. I move like a ghost.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve never met a garlic bread I didn’t get on with.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My goal for next month is small, simple, and clear: change my whole entire life.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Somebody needs to get my shit together.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Going from “I can fix her” to “I don’t care if she lives or dies” in the same beer.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,273

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next you sneeze too hard and hurt your neck.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Starting is the hardest part. Unless it’s eating chocolate. Then stopping is the hardest part.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

I accidentally said “large” instead of “venti” at Starbucks and now the cops are here.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Lately, when I meet new people, I ask them what their hobbies are instead of what they do for work, and let me tell you, the conversations have been absolutely top tier!

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

If this meeting were any slower, it’d be a landscape painting.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

A moment of silence for the paycheck that was in my account for five minutes.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Vaping: When you feel like smoking but don’t want to look cool.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

This cucumber Gatorade got me quenched in an unprecedented manner.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

No one has ever believed in me more than this waitress, who brought me buffalo wings and a single wet nap.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

As someone who was born in August, I find the word leotard extremely offensive.

Making waves on YouTube:

Some of you are still single because, when someone sends you romantic words, you reply with “hahaha.”

Just landed via Reddit:

When they have a dream sequence in a movie, how do they film the person’s dream?

Shared recently on Instagram:

Due to rising prices, Dollar Tree is changing their name to ‘Tree Fiddy’.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Keep posting, I’m diagnosing you.

Making waves on X:

Airlines be like: “Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn’t think everyone would bring a bag!”

Trending via Telegram:

How many cups of coffee is OK to have every day? Is it eight? I’m pretty sure it’s eight.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I support Bluesky in theory, but in practice, it’s like a JRPG with no bad guys.

Trending via Pinterest:

Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

Seen just now on Reddit:

The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

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