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Funny Alpha quotes

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  • No revenge, because losing someone like me is enough.

    Commentary:
    “When you realize my absence is the ultimate plot twist! 🤣🚪💨 #MissingMeMadness”

  • You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

    Commentary:
    “Are you secretly the voice of the automated overlords? 🤖📞😂”

  • Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

    Commentary:
    “Finally, a deal my wallet can fully support! 🤑💸 #FrugalGenius #ShopaholicDetox”

  • Sometimes I don’t have anything intelligent to say and sometimes I don’t let that stop me.

    Commentary:
    “When the brain takes a vacation, but the mouth decides to work overtime! 🤪🗣️ #NoFilter #Oops”

  • Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

    Commentary:
    “Forget soulmates, I’m just looking for source-mates! 📚❤️🤣 #AcademicLove”

  • I woke up from a deep sleep in a panic thinking I was late for work. Thankfully, I was already there.

    Commentary:
    “Proof that my body can multitask: sleep and be at work simultaneously! 💤😅 #SleepWorkBalance”

  • She was rare. Like a meth head with good teeth.

    Commentary:
    “When you find the one unicorn in a herd of donkeys 🦄😁 #TrulyOneOfAKind”

  • Weird. I’m the only one naked at this gender reveal party.

    Commentary:
    “Guess I misunderstood the ‘bare’ essentials for this party! 🙈🎉👶”

  • Idiocracy wasn’t supposed to be a documentary.

    Commentary:
    “2023: The year we proudly graduated from ‘Idiocracy Academy’ without even realizing it! 🤪📚🎓”

  • If I could do it all over again, I would ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

    Commentary:
    “Plot twist: New season, same chaos, but with extra sprinkles of creativity! 😅🎢💡 #LifeRemix”

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