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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

The date abruptly ended over a disagreement on how to pronounce Gnocchi.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

When I’m in a good mood, I go to my blocked list and release one or two prisoners.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

I see why grandmas used to cook dinner at 3 p.m. and sit down the rest of the day.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

ChatGPT’s primary use is to generate plausible excuses to leave dinner at the in-laws’.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

The best proof that fairy tales are fictional is the fact that the prince is always an intelligent and handsome single man.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Therapy isn’t enough, she needs to know people congratulated me when we broke up.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

My ability to remember song lyrics from the ’90s far exceeds my ability to remember why I walked into the garage.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I can relate to the stock market because I am always about to crash at a moment’s notice.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

My body snaps, crackles, and pops louder than my cereal.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Never make a promise you can’t keep rescheduling.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Dec 25, 2025

3,779

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

How long does it take for an apple to turn brown after you cut it? Never mind.

Spotted on Reddit:

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

Shared recently on Slack:

Asking for a donation like Wikipedia every time someone asks me a question.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

If you turn your phone off for 1 day, you’ll realize it’s still 2007 outside.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

Just landed via Telegram:

Instagram is just Twitter for people who go outside.

Going viral on Reddit:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

Going viral on YouTube:

Perhaps the most universal American experience is your mom being like, “Wasn’t he such a good dentist? He’s in prison now.”

Trending via Threads:

You wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti.

Home » Funny Astrological Quotes

Funny astrological quotes

Funny astrological quotes bring a cosmic twist to everyday life 🌟♉️ Whether you’re a fiery Aries or a dreamy Pisces, these witty stars-aligned sayings will have you laughing like the universe itself is sharing a cheeky secret 😂✨ Perfect for zodiac lovers who enjoy a little humor with their horoscopes! 🌙🔮 Get ready to embrace your sign’s quirks in the most hilarious way possible! 🌌🤣

New funny astrological quotes 👇

Anyone else think it’s weird how cancer kills more people than any other astrological sign.

0

2 months ago

astrological, astrological sign, cancer, death, else, health, humor, irony, people, sign, think, weird, zodiac
I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

0

2 months ago

astrological, astrological sign, astrology, eat, eating, humor, i, just, Leo, personality, sign, zodiac

All funny astrological quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Snapchat this month:

She’s got style, she’s got grace, she crams french fries in her face.

14 shares on Reddit this month:

Ah, summer. When my non-consensual relationship with mosquitoes begins.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves.

24 shares on Discord this month:

Sorry about all of the correct stuff I said when I was right.

74 shares on Messenger this month:

Maybe in another universe, I punched him in the face instead of staying quiet.

55 shares on Twitch this month:

What we need is more companies making hot sauce. I need 900 more ways to taste a thing that tastes exactly like all the other ones.

40 shares on Messenger this month:

Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

41 shares on TikTok this month:

Please, Tinder, add AI to your app. I don’t want to be involved in the modern dating experience. Let a robot do it for me. Let the machines suffer in our place.

34 shares on WeChat this month:

The Wi-Fi stops working for 2 minutes, and suddenly I start thinking about life.

24 shares on Instagram this month:

(To my coworker that’s a year younger than me) You’re like a son to me.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m full of rage, but in a very chill and nonchalant way.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward moment when everything is going so perfectly… and then you wake up.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My phone is on Do Not Disturb because I am disturbed enough as it is.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I could easily win an Oscar, I just have other things going on right now.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so vulnerable to nostalgia. The sun will go down and I’ll be like: “Wow… remember when the sun was up… I miss who I was then”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

While the optimist and pessimist argued about the glass of water, the opportunist drank it.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,994

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

It’s okay to run away from the cops if you’re shy.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Imagine she’s home alone, bored out of her mind, and she STILL won’t put that laundry away. She is me.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

I refuse to listen to anyone give commentary on the state of society unless it’s in a TikTok video filmed inside their car.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

This post is highly top-secret. You need to forget that you’ve seen it immediately.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

No, no, I’m listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

I met a microbiologist today. He was a lot bigger than I expected.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Life hack: Allow yourself 8–12 hours of alone time every morning to prepare for the day.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Sorry, Mom, I can’t go outside, I’m ugly.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

Thinking about quitting my job to focus on my girlfriend.

Just shared via Facebook:

I’ll stop smoking weed when life stops smoking me.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Saying “You’re tearing this family apart” whenever someone argues with me.

Trending via Facebook:

If you’re going to walk in my shoes, please also wear my FitBit.

Going viral on Messenger:

If you love someone, let them sleep.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’m sorry I bit your hand when you reached for my popcorn.

Shared recently on X:

Only bots from Nigeria are allowed to call me dear.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

Going bananas on Discord:

Nose so runny it just signed me up for a 10k.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

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