Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

In other news, congrats to my therapist for securing a 4 year contract with me.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Despite popular opinion, dating apps are NOT for dating. They are for finding people to watch your Instagram story for years and years.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

I think it’s clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

The good news: once you get a PhD, friends and family will refer to you as doctor. The bad news: They will only do it when you’re wrong.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

I love when I get an email from a brand saying “we miss you!” with no coupon attached. Babe, a lot of people miss me, let’s be competitive here.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

I love the idea of a fruitarian, just morally affronted that anyone could eat a baby spinach.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Letting my wife sleep in a little longer for Mother’s Day before we wake her up and ask what’s for breakfast.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Don’t ring my doorbell unless you’re accompanied by a camera crew and holding balloons and a big check.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,664

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

Time to put the stressful screen away (phone) and switch to the comfort screen (Kindle).

Spotted on TikTok:

November is for turtlenecks and depression.

Just shared via Telegram:

Is stir-fry the only dish where the instructions are in the name?

Going viral on Slack:

I’m an over-explainer (I explain things too much).

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Good morning to everyone except people who sit right next to you when there’s a whole room full of empty seats.

Going bananas on Reddit:

There’ll be a time someone will convince you to watch Game of Thrones. It is very important that you listen to them and watch.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Friendly reminder to drink your water and mind your business this week.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I think my new neighbors are creeps. They seem to be looking into my window every time I’m looking out my window to see what they are doing.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

My best three minutes of sleep are the ones right before the alarm goes off.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Sometimes I want to sleep, but my brain decides to do a little tap dance through every mistake I’ve ever made, instead.

Funny astrological quotes

Funny astrological quotes bring a cosmic twist to everyday life 🌟♉️ Whether you’re a fiery Aries or a dreamy Pisces, these witty stars-aligned sayings will have you laughing like the universe itself is sharing a cheeky secret 😂✨ Perfect for zodiac lovers who enjoy a little humor with their horoscopes! 🌙🔮 Get ready to embrace your sign’s quirks in the most hilarious way possible! 🌌🤣

New funny astrological quotes 👇

All funny astrological quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on Facebook this month:

Going to therapy is like having someone walk around your brain and going “ohhhh, this is how you’re living?!”

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

42 shares on Slack this month:

My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

62 shares on Twitch this month:

The Angry Birds assaulted me and made me rip their disgusting bong.

71 shares on Reddit this month:

If my son ever came out as gay, I’d be so furious. Furious that he never gave me fashion advice.

12 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t need all of these heat advisory warnings on my phone. I’ve been outside. I have skin. I know.

43 shares on Facebook this month:

My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

20 shares on Telegram this month:

I think one of my biggest hangups in getting better at Spanish is that speaking with the correct accent makes me feel racist.

69 shares on Twitch this month:

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

18 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s almost time to put away my black summer clothes and bring out my black fall clothes.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Egyptians did pretty well for a civilization that wrote entirely in emoji.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Trying to decide what to burn for dinner, so I can order pizza.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Bok Choy is a dope name for a vegetable.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I was disappointed to learn today that my request for a sabbatical was rejected. Apparently that’s “not how marriage works.”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

How long are you allowed to hide in the bathroom during family visits?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

After all these years, Jude Law has finally noticed me and responded to my love letters. Something about staying 500 feet away. I’m getting it framed.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Another fine day ruined by responsibilities.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite kind of gender reveal is the one where the parents find out, and they just tell everyone through text instead of making me go to a party.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If anyone wants to sponsor me, I’ll be running a 0.002K this weekend to raise awareness for laziness.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,629

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

I love when my brain cells kiss and I have an idea.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Can’t believe my neighbor rang my doorbell at 3 a.m. last night… Luckily, I was still up playing the drums.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

This year has gone by so quick. Christmas is basically tomorrow.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

I’ve done literally nothing all day, except feel guilty about doing nothing all day.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

As a man, it’s my job to mistake kindness for flirting.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? ’Cause your husband’s out here acting like you don’t exist.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Whitening my teeth by getting a tan.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Crazy part about being an overthinker is most times you right.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

I like liking Instagram stories because I like pressing buttons.

Breaking via Messenger:

I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

Trending via Reddit:

Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I don’t “make friends”. I get adopted by extroverts and they make me do things.

Making waves on TikTok:

My parents told me I could be anything I wanted so I became unacceptable.

Seen just now on Slack:

I would have loads of money if I liked Ramen Noodles and hated vodka.

Just landed via Reddit:

I lied, there is no sex. You’re helping me repot plants.

Making waves on Messenger:

So, if you are too tired to speak, sit next to me, because I am fluent in silence.

Trending via WeChat:

First date idea: we deactivate your Instagram.

Shared recently on Telegram:

You don’t have to check your Spotify Wrapped, you are the most played this year.

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