My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.

My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.

Commentary:
"Looks like I've finally found someone who can multitask without even trying! 🤣💦 #Skills"

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I'll visit my parents.

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

Commentary:
"Sorry, no threesomes here! If I wanted to let two people down, I'd just have dinner with my parents instead. 🤷‍♂️🚫 #ParentalDisappointmentWins"

There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

Commentary:
Who knew the library had a strict "no clipping zones" policy? 🚫📚 Looks like even in the world of literature, some things are best kept to yourself…or at least saved for home spa day! 💅😂 #KeepItClassy