Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

The horror of being warned that the person you’re about to meet is “fine once you get to know them”.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn’t even know they knew how to knit.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

A tip for your next salary negotiation: simply tell your boss “either I get a pay rise or I go out and tell everyone I got one!”

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

A designated hitter in baseball is the one who has to hit for everyone in case the team is drunk.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Gordon Ramsay is only funny because he’s not talking to me like that.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

I’ll let you guys know if the psych ward has wifi.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

I live in constant fear of being asked to repeat what you just said after I say I’m listening.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,515

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Reddit:

I always preferred the English spelling of “diarrhea” which is “diarrhoea” because it really looks like you’ve lost control of your vowels.

Just landed via Twitch:

Have you tried just not thinking about it? Like, ever again?

Just landed via Telegram:

The second cup of coffee does for me what a can of spinach does for Popeye.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Farmers markets should be for vegetables — not for millennials unloading their failed Etsy-store arts and crafts.

Trending via Snapchat:

Hate when people ask “why is it called Silence of the Lambs?” Like, did you hear any lambs during the movie? Use your head!

Shared recently on WeChat:

Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I was once told that if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Due to this, I’ve been observing a vow of silence since 1997.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

Trending via Twitch:

AI could never replace me, you can’t put this much self-loathing into a machine.

Funny binge-watching quotes

Funny binge-watching quotes are the perfect way to capture those cozy, snack-filled marathons 🍿📺 Whether you’re glued to your couch or pretending to be productive, these witty lines bring laughs and relatable vibes 😄 From endless episodes to that “just one more” feeling, get ready to celebrate your favorite guilty pleasure with a smile! 😂✨

New funny binge-watching quotes 👇

All funny binge-watching quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Instagram this month:

The kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were pretty dumb if they couldn’t figure out that their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

61 shares on Instagram this month:

Be the spooky thing in the woods that you wish to see in the world.

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My husband loves when we fight, and I turn it into a limited series called And Another Thing.

17 shares on Threads this month:

I’m getting to the age where it’s rude to pull out a bottle of ibuprofen if I don’t have enough for everyone.

70 shares on Pinterest this month:

I know some people don’t like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste.

36 shares on Facebook this month:

My superpower is to make anyone I wanna make comfortable feel uncomfortable.

77 shares on Facebook this month:

Cooking with glasses on is so humiliating. Why did I just get blinded by steam?

51 shares on WeChat this month:

Not really into dating right now, but very into flirting, and that’s where things get complicated.

83 shares on Telegram this month:

My ducks: in a row. My elephant: addressed. My eggs: several baskets. My bigger fish: fried.

95 shares on TikTok this month:

Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Extroverts love our energy. That’s why they suck it out of us.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

LinkedIn: where you desperately hope that one idiot you had a drink with six years ago can somehow help get you a job.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Applying for jobs feels like auditioning to be enthusiastic about a blind date you haven’t even met yet.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t disrespect me and then be the moral compass on how I respond.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

For all those wondering, yes, I am retired. I was tired yesterday, and I am tired again today.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

“Dairy Queen” is actually the perfect drag name.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m going to a karaoke bar tomorrow, where I’ll sing every song in the style of Yoko Ono.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m currently on a really effective diet called “I only have twenty dollars until payday”.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

No rizz, just pretty eyes and many unsettling things to say.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,564

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Imagine thinking you have any clue what’s going on.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Vibrators are wrong and unnatural. The Bible said Adam and Eve, not Florence and the Machine.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Just once I’d like to buy a house plant that didn’t have the lifespan of a soap bubble.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

When physical labor became optional, we invented the gym. We’ll need the same thing for the mind.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Exorcist came by. Says house isn’t possessed, just incredibly poorly built.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

I come from a long line of people with something wrong with them.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Just because I can’t sing doesn’t mean I won’t sing.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

The miracle of DoorDash is that I just pick up my phone, punch a few things into it, and within half an hour I have, at my door, a $52 salad.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

I miss having that butterfly feeling. People give me roach vibes at this point.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Another day on this hamster wheel to nowhere.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

Shared recently on X:

Diet Coke so crisp I moaned.

Seen just now on X:

I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

Trending via Discord:

Flirting with submissives is actually really easy. All you gotta do is send a gif of a small animal and say, ‘This is so you.’

Shared recently on Telegram:

Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

Making waves on WeChat:

I love when lashes make me look evil.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Every Friday, I’m like, “This weekend I’m getting my life together,” and then… I don’t.

Spotted on Snapchat:

My problem is, I wanna be the only one at the gym when I go.

Going viral on WeChat:

Apparently, if you leave your Tupperware cupboard unorganized for too long, they procreate, and extra lids appear out of nowhere.

Making waves on Twitch:

50 is the new 30. Because it takes 50 bucks to buy what 30 used to.

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