Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Probably the worst thing you can do when your wife gives you a disapproving look from across the room for being on your phone is finish typing this.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Once you’ve been single for a long time, you realize how exhausting relationships can be.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Some of you aren’t reading the room. Not even listening to the room on audiobook.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Family fistfights brought to you by Monopoly.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

The sound of rain outside when you’re in bed is elite.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, begging for my cat’s attention.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Just blocked all the normal people, so if you see this… sup, weirdo.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

I had an irrational fear of bees until I saw My Girl and it became rational.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

How come it’s called “thrift store shopping” instead of Goodwill hunting?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

Just remember, you don’t need a special reason to buy a cake.

Trending via Facebook:

The most expensive clothing you’ll ever wear is a hospital gown.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

Going bananas on Slack:

Unpopular opinion: a honeymoon is more needed 5 to 10 years down the road, versus right after getting married.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

This post ain’t gonna like itself, damn.

Seen just now on Facebook:

You only live once and thank God for that.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

It’s weird when you realize that what you thought was rock bottom was actually somewhere around rock middle.

Live now on Threads:

The same mosquito kept biting me last night. It probably thought it was at a wine tasting.

Live now on Messenger:

That drum solo from In the Air Tonight, but it’s me just slapping my tummy, waiting for the microwave to beep.

Funny blind quotes

Funny blind quotes bring a hilarious twist to seeing the world in a whole new light 🎭👀! Whether you’re navigating life’s unexpected surprises or just love a good laugh, these witty sayings will have you chuckling and thinking twice 🤣✨. Ready to embrace the joy of the unseen? Let’s dive into some clever humor that proves sometimes not seeing is the funniest thing of all! 😂🎉

New funny blind quotes 👇

All funny blind quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on TikTok this month:

Is ChatGPT my father-in-law because it keeps making stuff up and passing it off as fact?

98 shares on X this month:

Don’t even get into my car if you’re just gonna scream every time I hit something.

42 shares on Threads this month:

Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

20 shares on Slack this month:

Once this pandemic ends, I’m legit quitting video games and getting a girlfriend for real.

71 shares on Instagram this month:

If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

82 shares on Reddit this month:

If there’s one thing we can trust, it’s billionaires.

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

“In a galaxy far, far away” is starting to sound quite enticing.

100 shares on Threads this month:

Being an adult feels like, “If I can just get through this week, I’ll be okay,” but it’s every damn week.

40 shares on Slack this month:

English is so fake. How can you drink a drink, but you can’t food a food?

98 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Some people exercise every day. Right now, I’m watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I talk a lot of shit for someone who turns every black shirt into an abstract deodorant mural.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope you all get laid soon, for your own mental health.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Dollar Tree needs to just go ahead and rename it to A Couple Dollars.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m only awake because my coffee needs me.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

When you ask for your phone charger back and your teenager has the audacity to ask “what percentage are you on?”

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and I’m like, cool, can one of you reach the top shelf for me.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Shutting up is gluten-free. Maybe add that to your diet, princess.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Caught a belt loop on a door handle and got yanked back with such force that my audio is no longer in sync with my actions.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,643

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

We need a word for that weird feeling you get when you learn what a podcaster looks like.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Dating outside of your education bracket leads to misunderstandings and arguments.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

“New password cannot be your old password” makes me so mad.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Watermelon. The fruit that comes with a workout.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

You don’t really see women throwing their boyfriend’s stuff out the window anymore.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

I’m not a fan of camping, if I wanted to sleep outside I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Jingle all the way? In this economy?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Occupation: the ugly friend!

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

“I’ve been fantasizing about going back to bed since I woke up this morning.”

Just shared via TikTok:

It’s not too early to go to sleep. Too early only applies to waking up.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

Making waves on TikTok:

Some people are like ads, just skip.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Remember when tweets were like: party rocking with a mouse tonight. Piece of cheese gonna have a big bite.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Yes, money alone does not make you happy. It has to be yours too.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Do you say “Excuse me” to your pet when you walk by them, or are you rude?

Just shared via Messenger:

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

Trending via Facebook:

Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴