Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

When the gun shoots your brain, that’s amore.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

A flat stomach is one of the best accessories.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Every room can be a room with a view when I’m in it.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Petition to change the name of rice cakes to something else as they are 100% rice and 0% cake and I’m tired of all the gaslighting.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

McDonald’s is finally promoting good health by making their food unaffordable.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Every time a bird poops on my car, I eat a plate of wings on the front porch to show them what I’m capable of.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Science can’t explain it, but some hairs can grow up to a quarter inch overnight. Never in a good spot though.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Dear Math, I don’t want to solve your problem, I have my own problems to solve.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Childbirth seems like an awful lot of work for an already saturated market.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,688

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

The woman that cleaned my house could make a lot of money by threatening to release the before and after photos.

Making waves on WeChat:

Don’t be part of the problem. Be all of it.

Going viral on YouTube:

The one thing to know about me is I always get the last laugh. And oh yes, it’s maniacal.

Spotted on X:

How old were you when you found out people in porn aren’t actually in love?

Seen just now on Instagram:

For my birthday, I want everyone to tell me how much they love me and why in immense detail.

Trending via YouTube:

Chill, folks, it’s just a simulation.

Making waves on Discord:

I didn’t lose an hour of sleep. The hour of sleep lost me.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you’d almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

Making waves on Slack:

I wish I was born into wealth so I could have a nice 1-bedroom apartment.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

Funny blind quotes

Funny blind quotes bring a hilarious twist to seeing the world in a whole new light 🎭👀! Whether you’re navigating life’s unexpected surprises or just love a good laugh, these witty sayings will have you chuckling and thinking twice 🤣✨. Ready to embrace the joy of the unseen? Let’s dive into some clever humor that proves sometimes not seeing is the funniest thing of all! 😂🎉

New funny blind quotes 👇

All funny blind quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on WeChat this month:

Just blocked all the ugly people, so if you see this… what’s up, big sexy?

31 shares on TikTok this month:

Brains are funny. I can remember every word to a song I haven’t heard in 20 years, but I’ve got no clue what my email password is.

91 shares on WeChat this month:

First rule of cleaning while listening to music: the toilet brush is never the microphone. Never!

85 shares on Discord this month:

Parallel parking: where true relationships are tested!

11 shares on Facebook this month:

Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up, and if that doesn’t accurately describe my life, I don’t know what does.

48 shares on Facebook this month:

Ragebaiting each other is flirting, btw.

55 shares on Instagram this month:

Sometimes your ankle takes a vacation while you’re walking.

99 shares on Discord this month:

If you’re soft, don’t come to my house, cause my kids will roast you.

99 shares on TikTok this month:

I wouldn’t trust a single one of you with a flying car.

16 shares on TikTok this month:

Your in his DMs, I’m on Etsy paying a witch to put a spell on him.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I would rather walk barefoot across a carpet made out of Legos than go to my high school reunion.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s amazing to think that a Penguin wrote all of those classic books.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

One day you’ll meet that amazing person who just gets you, and they won’t text you back either.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

These days, I only use Facebook as a birthday calendar.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Late replies don’t bother me. As long as we’re not in love, or you don’t owe me money, take your time.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Please solve a murder to prove you’re not a bot.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,397

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

And are the people who find you “hilarious” in the room with us now?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Slapping the TV remote on your knee extends the battery life. It’s science.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

What part of “I don’t want to spend any more money” don’t I understand?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Facebook: because time isn’t going to pass on it’s own.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

My dream is to buy a horse and race it. The horse will probably beat me but it’ll still be fun.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Newborns cry because they’re being evicted.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

The days will soon be shorter again. Then it won’t rain for so long.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Out of Office: I am on vacation. Your emails will be forwarded nowhere to be read by no one. Good day.

Going bananas on YouTube:

My kids asked me what games I used to play on my iPad as a kid. I told them I used to speak into a fan to sound like a robot.

Seen just now on X:

I’m at the age where I have to warm up first before jumping to conclusions.

Trending via WeChat:

I can do anything, as long as there’s a looming deadline and serious consequences.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

My boyfriend always complains that I never smile, but he’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.

Breaking via Telegram:

I’ve got nothing against kids, I just don’t understand why you’d want indoor kids.

Seen just now on Discord:

Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.

Spotted on WeChat:

My cat and I talked it over and no we don’t think that I’m crazy.

Just shared via Pinterest:

When I tell my kids I’ll do something in a minute, what I’m really saying is “Please forget.”

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