Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

I’m only an introvert until I meet people worth extroverting with.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Lost my job to AI (my job was to be loudly and confidently incorrect).

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Silence is my favourite form of communication in the morning.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Forget pheromones, barbecue smells are always attractive.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

The bank just called and gave me the biggest compliment, said my balance is outstanding. I really needed that today.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

It’s important to remember that even parents make mistakes. In fact, it’s how many of us became parents.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

I asked my boyfriend if he believed in trolls and elves and he said, “slightly.”

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Being an adult is a little out of my price range right now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,595

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I love to see “pan-fried” on a menu. I hate food that’s fried in a shoe.

Trending via WeChat:

I love to watch the enthusiasm of new coworkers, and then their inevitable slow descent into not giving a damn.

Just shared via Discord:

I asked myself if I was the problem and we said no.

Trending via YouTube:

The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Being in your 20s is crazy because, why did you stay with someone you were that incompatible with for that long?

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Welcome to your 40s—you run out of breath trying to find your running shoes.

Trending via YouTube:

When I was a kid, they played lame music for middle-aged people in the supermarket, but this morning at Whole Foods, it’s now all amazing bangers from my youth.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I am stoned and laying in bed reading, and the idea of Santa going on Ozempic popped into my head, and I whispered, “No!”

Breaking via Telegram:

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

Going viral on Telegram:

I’ve got a couple of eyebrow hairs that want me to be a villain.

Funny charcuterie quotes

Funny charcuterie quotes bring a slice of humor to your cheese and meat boards 🧀🥓, turning snack time into a laugh fest! Whether you’re a prosciutto pro or a newbie nibbling on crackers, these witty lines add flavor to any gathering 🎉🍇. Get ready to spread smiles alongside your spreads and make every bite a moment of fun! 😄🍷

New funny charcuterie quotes 👇

All funny charcuterie quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on Snapchat this month:

I was the most patient parent and then I had kids.

17 shares on Facebook this month:

Good luck sending me mixed signals. Most the time I can’t even understand the direct ones.

60 shares on Slack this month:

The most expensive clothing you’ll ever wear is a hospital gown.

97 shares on Threads this month:

Having to confirm your past purchases over the phone with your bank’s fraud department is a truly harrowing moment of self-examination for chronic little treat buyers.

20 shares on Pinterest this month:

A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

93 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo.

71 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’ve been saying for years that cigs are better for you than vapes, and the vindication I feel now is just orgasmic.

17 shares on X this month:

My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office.

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I actually do check to see if you told me happy birthday before I tell you.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

You can learn a lot about a person by observing their every waking movement from a tree outside their house.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m uncomfortable around tall people. What if they pick me up and put me on their shoulders?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If someone texts “Do you have a minute,” it’s a trick. Don’t fall for it.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

That moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don’t know what to do with your life any more.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Blocking me is like blocking the sun, the moon and the stars.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,578

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do something else besides drink.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Drinking a couple of beers and then getting onto Red Dead Redemption, and just petting my horse and feeding it apples.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

“Thank you for choosing Amtrak.” No problem. There are no other trains.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I waste a lot of time putting my phone down to just pick it back up again.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Standing like a flamingo at my kitchen counter eating watermelon is such a vibe.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

What do you mean I never reach out? I literally thought about you.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Ever feel like you’re adulting, but only on the outside? Inside, you’re just a kid hoping someone else will make dinner.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that cake is in the fridge.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

I bet the person who named the fireplace also named the waterfall.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list that I was making, and now, I can’t read anything.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Kissing while both wearing baseball caps is so hard. How do baseball players do it?

Trending via Slack:

If you finish every sentence with “as the prophecy foretold”, your coworkers will leave you alone.

Just landed via WeChat:

Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.

Spotted on Twitch:

God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

Seen just now on Slack:

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

Trending via WeChat:

I am “I can’t remember the last time I went out on New Year’s Eve” old.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Sleep is a free trial of death but with ads.

Live now on Pinterest:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer the term selective participation.

Live now on Threads:

Accidentally said “normal” when they asked what milk I wanted at the leftist cafe.

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