My only addiction is coffee, which is just like crack but is legal and tastes good.

My only addiction is coffee, which is just like crack but is legal and tastes good.

Commentary:
"Who needs crack when you can get your daily fix of legal and tasty coffee? ☕️😂 Just be careful not to overdo it or you might end up bouncing off the walls like you're on something stronger! 💥☕️😜"

Some people can start a task and then just finish it instead of trying to do a hundred things at once, like a squirrel on crack.

Some people can start a task and then just finish it instead of trying to do a hundred things at once, like a squirrel on crack.

Commentary:
"Ah, the elusive ability to focus and actually complete a task without getting distracted, a rare trait indeed! 🐿️💨 Let's appreciate those task-finishing unicorns in a world full of multitasking squirrels 🦄🤹‍♂️ Keep your eyes on the prize, not on the acorns flying everywhere! 🌰🤪"

You ever have your knees crack so good that you expect them to glow in the dark. Yeah, me too.

You ever have your knees crack so good that you expect them to glow in the dark. Yeah, me too.

Commentary:
"Crackling knees? More like disco knees! 💃✨ Who knew our joints had secret talents? Glow-in-the-dark knees could be the next big rave trend! 🌟💫 #PartyOnWithYourKnees"