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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

It amazes me how many battles in the first two years of the Civil War were decided by which side woke up the earliest.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

When my friends and I talk about sex, it’s never sexual. It feels scientific, almost.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

It’s not the destination that matters. It’s the snacks you eat on the way.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

His hands wouldn’t stop talking to me, your honor.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Just heard my knee crack so loud I expected it to glow in the dark.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Tariff this, tariff that. When is somebody gonna tariff my clothes and kiss me?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

After being raised on Disney movies, I’m very disappointed how few adult problems can be solved by a good song and dance.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m the kind of introvert who dodges phone calls but sends paragraphs in texts.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

And to think I survived a global pandemic for this.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,519

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Jacket I left on a chair that sometimes looks like a person at night stuns in new evening nightmare.

Going bananas on Twitch:

My unemployed neighbor with an unlimited firework budget would like to wish everyone a happy 9th of July.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Girls really only want one simple thing; and that one thing is all of your attention.

Just shared via Facebook:

I’m not lazy. I just give my couch the love it deserves.

Breaking via Reddit:

Probably the most depressed I’ve ever been in my life, except for a bunch of other times.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I would describe my personal style as whatever is on top of the pile of clothes on the floor.

Making waves on TikTok:

If I was a star and you were a star, I would wink at you and blink at you and twinkle at you and the earthlings would call it science.

Just shared via Discord:

I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

Just landed via WeChat:

Phone so dry, I caught myself checking the weather.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Watching my wife absolutely hate my daughter’s boyfriend while being nice and hospitable to him has made me question every interaction I’ve had with another human being in my life.

Funny diving quotes

Funny diving quotes make a splash by bringing humor to the underwater world 🌊🤿 Whether you’re a seasoned diver or just love the ocean vibe, these witty lines will lighten up your day and dive deep into the fun side of exploring the sea 🐠😂 Get ready to laugh, smile, and maybe even inspire your next dive adventure with a splash of humor!

New funny diving quotes 👇

All funny diving quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on X this month:

I was so excited thinking tomorrow was Friday only to find out it is definitely not Friday.

21 shares on Threads this month:

Well, I’ve been depressed and poor, but sure, we’ll call it intermittent fasting.

35 shares on Instagram this month:

The older I get, no.

19 shares on Instagram this month:

The worst part about going to work is the part where you have to go to work.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.

100 shares on YouTube this month:

My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.

37 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Men are very good at being women lately.

34 shares on Discord this month:

Ozzy Osbourne has mumbled through entire sentences, and I still understood him better than most of my exes.

99 shares on TikTok this month:

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

19 shares on Twitch this month:

As an outsider, what’s your view on intelligence?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I liked your post one second after you posted it but in my defense, I’ve had my phone in my hand since 2012.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I think about Adam and Eve and how they couldn’t even get a babysitter.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody should be blowing up Teslas. If you just wait a bit, they’ll probably do it by themselves.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My body is a vessel for various dips.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

“You’re so quick to cut someone off!” God forbid a girl actually has self-respect.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s okay to admit you want my lips on yours.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry I pretended I was dead when I saw you in public.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Dads will insist the Masters is exciting while also napping through it.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,288

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Relationship status: the black mold in my shower thinks I’m cute.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

According to a new study, people who often trail off in the middle of a sentence are 30% more likely to

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Shade coming from a tree bearing no fruit could never phase me. Carry on.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

I get it dogs, I wish I could also bark at strangers approaching my house.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Unlocking new levels of iron deficiency.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I don’t hate anyone in particular, I just hate everyone in general.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you started eating chips.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

Making waves on Reddit:

Sorry, I can’t come over tonight. I’ve become too invested in these fictional characters and whether or not they will kiss.

Spotted on YouTube:

Why the hell is it called the restroom? I am fighting for my life in here.

Shared recently on TikTok:

God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

Spotted on Snapchat:

All people make me happy. Some when they come, others when they leave.

Trending via Discord:

Delightful if true: booby trap.

Going viral on Pinterest:

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

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