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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

“Can you multitask?” Yes, actually I am losing my mind and chilling at the same time.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I ordered a new umbrella on Amazon and had it delivered straight to the lost and found office to maximize efficiency.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Having a teenager is fun because the voice in my head that questions everything I do now has a friend.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Your hoodie strings are uneven. Go home and get your shit together!

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

I like to listen to the national anthems during the award ceremonies. I’m into country music.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Wild that we could have been foraging for berries and dying off at 33, but we chose this nonsense instead.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

I keep screenshots the way my husband keeps old cords, stored neatly away until the day I might need them.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Girl to girl: Please have at least two boyfriends.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,582

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Nice tots you got there. Be a shame if someone tatered em.

Shared recently on Messenger:

The worst person you know is studying psychology.

Seen just now on Slack:

Young witches boil every cauldron on high.

Breaking via Snapchat:

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

The more you embrace your crazy side, the more fun life becomes.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’m fighting for free speech. Mine, not yours, so be quiet.

Just shared via Telegram:

They said, “Enjoy your money because life is short.” Now my money is finished, but I’m still alive.

Just shared via Slack:

I quit boxing the moment I realized my opponent was allowed to punch me in the face, too.

Making waves on WeChat:

Just realised if I have a kid, they’re likely to see the year 2100… WTF?

Spotted on Instagram:

Taylor Swift’s most unrealistic lyric is “he’d never tell you, but he can play guitar”, because I’ve never met a man who can play guitar that isn’t gonna tell you about it.

Funny end of day quotes

Funny end of day quotes are the perfect way to unwind and laugh off the daily grind 😄✨ Whether you’re counting down the minutes to couch time or just need a quirky pick-me-up, these witty lines bring smiles and good vibes 🌟💤 Ready to turn that tired slump into a chuckle fest? Let’s dive into some hilarious thoughts that make saying goodbye to the day way more fun! 😂🌙

New funny end of day quotes 👇

Going “Omgg, that’s crazy,” every time my coworkers talk until it’s time to go home.

2 months ago

conversation, coworker, coworkers, crazy, day, end, end of day, every, going, home, humor, office, reaction, talk, time, work
Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

2 months ago

day, end, end of day, frustration, humor, impatience, joke, left, much, patience, sarcasm, time, why
At the end of the day, the day is going to end.

2 months ago

daily, daily routine, day, end, end of day, going, humor, irony, routine, time
At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.

3 months ago

bag, bag of chips, bedtime, chips, claw, claw clip, clip, daily, daily routine, day, end, end of day, hair, humor, i, move, ritual, routine, snack, snack time, time

All funny end of day quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on Twitch this month:

This is the dumbest apocalypse ever.

49 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have a favorite vegetable peeler.

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Life is too short, and death is too long.

20 shares on Instagram this month:

A penguin is a bird the way a hot dog is a sandwich.

17 shares on Discord this month:

Why’d they call it a fly swatter and not a splatula?

24 shares on YouTube this month:

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

35 shares on Threads this month:

The best thing about the internet is that you’re never the dumbest one here.

35 shares on Messenger this month:

Does running actually get easier if you do it a lot, or is it that you just get more masochistic?

75 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m experimenting with how many apples I need to eat a day to keep everyone away, whatever their profession.

30 shares on WeChat this month:

I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I accidentally said “large” instead of “venti” at Starbucks and now the cops are here.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

When I was a kid, I had to walk to Netflix.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I ordered mushrooms on my pizza. When do they kick in?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If women came with instructions, men wouldn’t read them anyway.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Needlenose in HR says we can’t use nicknames anymore.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I could easily win an Oscar, I just have other things going on right now.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My tapeworm is starting a podcast about the McRib.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Just flipped my mattress, should have woken up my wife first.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Telling the guy next to me on the subway that I’m not even ticklish, so don’t bother trying.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,627

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Heartbreaking: Introvert sentenced to 100 hours of hanging out.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Sometimes I think I should talk to my colleagues more often. Until I talk to my colleagues.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Good morning to everyone except myself cause I wish I was still asleep.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

How dare you say I’m crazy on the eve of my cat’s wedding?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Time to put the stressful screen away (phone) and switch to the comfort screen (Kindle).

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Your first non-broke girlfriend will change your whole perspective about relationships.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

If you stand too close to me in the check out line, you may as well pay for my stuff while you’re breathing down my neck.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

The miracle of DoorDash is that I just pick up my phone, punch a few things into it, and within half an hour I have, at my door, a $52 salad.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on YouTube:

Twitter is evidence that insane people can be extremely entertaining from a safe distance.

Breaking via Messenger:

Talking to some people is like folding a fitted sheet.

Spotted on Telegram:

Elections is like waiting for the results of a biopsy, except half your family hopes it’s cancer.

Trending via YouTube:

By accepting their pardons, the turkeys are admitting guilt.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

A massage is not enough, I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Women are able to leave the country unexpectedly at any time with the contents of their handbag.

Just landed via Reddit:

A simple “hi” can be the beginning of two years of therapy.

Just landed via Threads:

It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I think if you ask Kanye for a million at the right time, he’ll give it to you.

Trending via YouTube:

I need to start hiding my money from myself.

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